Talk to your children with respect. and they will talk with respect.

Limit televission time, and don’t let them have a T.V. in their room. Kids withdrawl from the family early enough and comunication is a must.

Talk to your kids about sex and drugs. most kids experiment out of curiosity, if they know what it is about, they will more then likely not try it as early.

Always punish lieing more severly then telling the truth. That away the kids know that even though they get into trouble, it is better to admit what they have done rather then hide it or keep it a secret.

Make kids do chorers to teach them that in a family, every member is important and that every one has to work togeather to make it a good family unit.
It also teaches a kid responsibility.

Teach your children to have compassion for other people.
We are entirely to desensitized now days.

Correct your child imedietly, you have less of a chance to do it out of anger, and you definately wont forget to punish them.

Teach your children early what it means to be a man / woman. So they know what will be expected of them.

Don’t bail your kids out of trouble, or make excuses for them. Teach them that they must take responsibility for what they do. That means appologizing and making things right. with the other person.

Teach by example. Make sure your children see you being polite, and kind and compassionate and doing what is right.

Make kids do their home work when they first get home this teaches them that work comes first and play is to be done in their spare time.

Keep Your children busy. bored kids tend to get into more trouble.

Make sure when you have to be away from your child, you leave them with adiquate supervision.

Make sure you spend good quality time with your children. Talk to them and really get to know how they think. when they need to express anger allow them to do so. they will be more likely to come to you when some thing is bothering them.

Teach your child the value of volunteering. It builds thier self worth.

Always remember to tell your child when they have done well. weather it be on a drawing or were really well behaived. Kids love to be bragged about. and it encourages good behavior and work.

Listen to your child, and never make light of what they say. What seems to be a small and unimportant issue, can be a major catastraphy to them.

Infant Baby Bedding

As a psychotherapist working with families experiencing divorce, I offer these thoughts regarding the holidays.

1. Money, gifts, sweets and indulging don’t “make up” for anything. Your child is going to have TWO Christmases. No need to feel guilty. Most kids say the dual holidays are the best thing about being a divorced kid.

2. If possible, make your plans with your ex-spouse ahead of time and stick to them. Let the kids know where they will be and when. It helps them feel in control. Let them make only age appropriate decisions. A good rule of thumb: if it is not a decision you would let your children make while you were married, then don’t let them make it now. Let your kids be kids.

3. Be flexible. No, this is not a contradiction of #2. It means that S—T happens. So if your ex is two hours late because of an ice storm or because cousin Joey showed up late, try to let it go.

4. Keep your anger, resentment, annoyance, disgust about your ex, his sports car, his girlfriend, his family, to yourself. Remember, your kids are part of both of you and when you slam him, your child feels slammed as well.

5. Do not make your children responsible for your happiness. “Go have a goodtime with Dad in Jamaica, while I sit here miserable and all alone,” only breeds resentment and guilt in your child.

6. Don’t compete. If he can afford more than you – fine. Rather than resenting his/her father, appreciate that your child can experience things you can’t buy him. Don’t overspend to keep up. Make memories by doing fun things together – bake cookies, read a Christmas story, build a snowman. Money doesnot buy love.

7. The new girlfriend/boyfriend cannot and will not take your place. Children are unbelievably loyal. They can love many people, but the title and honor of parent is yours and will be only yours, forever. Relax. Deal with your jealousy without making your kid responsible for your feeling threatened. This is simply not the job of the child.

8. Divorce is the severing of the adult relationship and should not be the termination of the parent-child relationship, no matter how much you really can’t stand him/her. If your child is not in harm’s way, the relationship needs to continue. This is the CHILD’s right. If you really feel the child is in danger, then get a lawyer, prove it and have supervised visitation. Never keep a child from being with a parent based on your own feelings!

9 Lastly, remember that you are the adult. Suck up your anger toward your ex and make the holidays wonderful for your kids.

Adapted from Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life: A Woman’s Journey through Divorce © Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC 2005, 2009.
http://www.donnaferber.com