Ohio Family Law Blog » Children’s Issues

New Law Protects Teens from Dating Harassment and Violence

Shawn P. Hooks — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 10:00:49 +0000

In 2005, a seventeen-year old girl named Shynerra Grant was murdered by her ex-boyfriend, Antonio. She had just graduated high school in Toledo, Ohio, and was heading to college in the fall. Shynerra had been stalked by her ex-boyfriend for more than a year before she was murdered. Antonio stalked and abused Shynerra, including an incident in May 2004 when he broke into her home and put her in the hospital with a broken jaw. At the time an adult could obtain a Civil Stalking Protection Order (CSPO), but it was almost impossible for minors to get that same protection if the aggressor was another minor.

In March 2010, the Ohio General Assembly passed legislation that would confront this issue. House Bill 10, named the Shynerra Grant Law, was sent to Governor Strickland for his signature. The Governor signed the bill into law and it will become effective on June 17, 2010. The law is designed to allow a minor to go to his or her local juvenile court to obtain a protection order in certain situations. A teen who is the victim of harassing, stalking, or threatening behavior by another teen, now has the option of going to court to get protection. Once the order is in effect a teen can be immediately arrested for violating the order. No longer will that teen be able to call the individual or go to his or her house. Punishment for violating the order can include house arrest or electronic home monitoring.

The procedure is similar to what has existed for adult CSPO’s for some time. A person may go to the court and ask for a temporary ex parte order. Basically, this hearing is to determine whether there is enough evidence to grant the order until a full hearing can be held. The individual who is seeking the order is typically the only party present, and the person accused of the unlawful behavior is not generally there for an ex parte hearing. Following the ex parte hearing a temporary order may be issued. If this happens, the matter will be set for a full hearing where the defendant has the right to be present and has certain due process rights that are triggered; such as the right to counsel, right to cross-examine witnesses, etc. The right to counsel is discretionary under the law. The protection order may last for a certain period of time but may not last beyond the defendant’s nineteenth birthday. A party seeking a protection order against someone older than nineteen must seek relief in the Common Pleas Court as was the procedure before.

The bill’s sponsor, State Rep. Edna Brown, said, “The current law, which allows judges to issue no-contact orders to juveniles, is basically useless. This new law will save lives, where juveniles will be able to be protected from persons who would cause them harm."

Hopefully, the enactment of this law prevents instances of teen dating violence. One study by the Columbus Dispatch in November 2009, found that teenagers in Ohio were twice as likely to be victims of dating violence as they were likely to be injured in a car accident. That being said, the same potentials for abusing the system now exist where a teen may be falsely accused. If either you or a child of yours is experiencing instances of harassing, stalking, or threatening behavior, or your child has been accused of this type of conduct and is the subject of a temporary protection order of this nature, it is essential that you consult with an attorney immediately.

To read the text of the Shynerra Grant Law, Click here.

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Coping with Difficult Behavior

Guest Contributor Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC — Sat, 01 May 2010 10:00:53 +0000

Throughout life, we sometimes encounter difficult people. We may argue with them, fall silent, comply or take distance. In a divorce, particularly an acrimonious one, difficult behaviors abound. No one is on their best behavior under this amount of stress. Figuring out how to cope with difficult behavior is a bit easier once you can identify why a person behaves in a certain way and what he/she hopes to accomplish. Here is a list of the most common behaviors that frustrate us all and suggestions for dealing with them:

The Bully – uses temper tantrums to overwhelm you; makes insulting and cutting remarks. Needs to feel superior and not lose control of the situation. Wants to get his/her own way.

*Stand up, listen, do not attack back, and take time-outs. Keep to the agenda.

The Complainer – gripes about everything incessantly. Needs to keep looking like a victim, does not take any responsibility, tries to bring others down to make her/himself look/feel better.

*Listen. Try to pin down specific complaints. Offer no apology. Ask, “How do you think we could fix this?”

The Silent Type – the most response you get is “nope,” “maybe,” and “I don’t know.” Needs to punish, hurt and control. Also may be evading resolution as a way to maintain power.

*Try a direct approach to the behavior. “I cannot read your mind, so there are things you need to tell me.” Do not badger or nag. Set a time limit, and then walk away. Part of the reward for being silent is the constant attention and urging. Do not reward the behavior with this response.

The Promiser – agrees with everything, but then doesn’t follow through on anything. Needs to be liked and accepted by everyone.

*Try saying, “I really want to know what is on your mind.”

The Wet Blanket – finds something wrong with everything. Tries to deflate your optimism. “It will never work” is their battle cry. Wants power and control over your life. Is threatened when you feel good about something.

*Do not argue. Do not get drawn into a power struggle. Do not ask for advice from this person.

The Staller – afraid to make a mistake. They never can decide on anything. They stall a major decision until it is made for them. Their sense of self is often tied to getting approval from others.

*Do not become irritated. Examine the facts and work on problem-solving.

The Big Shot – the “know it all.” Condescending, imposing and pompous. Sometimes doesn’t know what she/he is talking about, but thinks she/he does. Seeks approval and respect. They build their self-esteem on knowing “the facts.”

*Do not correct or counter. Do not get involved trying to “out-expert” this person. Listen and validate. Be sure to affirm their stance when they are right.

Here are some steps to help you cope and stop pulling out your own hair in frustration!

Assess the situation. Is this really an issue you have to win?
Stop wishing and hoping things were different. That sets you up to be blind-sided again – and again.
Plan a strategy for getting your point across.
Stick to your agenda. Do not be distracted by techniques designed to infuriate or diminish you.
Do the best you can and then let it go.

As you assess your situation and your estranged partner’s behavior, make sure to look at your own style as well. Without realizing it, you may be implementing some of the above behaviors and creating roadblocks to resolution. While it is always easier to see the flaws of others, looking at your own behavior is where you can create real change.

©2010. Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC, is a licensed psychotherapist in Connecticut. Her newest book is available at bookstores everywhere, Amazon.com or at www.profileactics.com. This article is from her first book, From Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life: A Woman’s Journey through Divorce, which won an Honorable Mention Award by the Independent Publishers Association. To read more about the author and her work, please visit www.donnaferber.com.

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Concerned About How Your Children are Coping? Here is a Valuable Resource!

Robert L. Mues — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 11:00:35 +0000

I am constantly scouring the web to find valuable information to post here. I was pleased to recently find an excellent website geared towards children’s issues. Kids’ Turn Central was a new find for me, but probably not for many parents and teachers. Wendy Hogan has cleverly integrated a plethora of diverse material, games and activities that are fun, safe and educational for children, including some cool “clipart”, into the website. She launched Kids’ Turn Central in September of 2001.

The page that I wanted to bring to your attention lists numerous books, child rights organizations, and other resources focused on children of divorce. With Wendy’s permission, below is a sample of its content. It is worth your time to check her website out thoroughly! I’ll bet that you will find material that will be both beneficial and fun, too!

It’s a fact. Every year millions of kids must go through parents divorcing.

If your parents are happily married you probably have at least one friend who has divorced parents.

The resources below are meant to assist both kids going through divorce – and kids who want to help understand what a friend might be going through.

Divorce Sites for Kids – Just the Facts

Dealing with Emotions – Personal Stories

Programs – Books/Products

Help for your Family – Express Yourself

Source: Kids Turn Central

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In Camera Interviews of Children in Divorce Court

Anne Shale — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 11:00:09 +0000

What is an in camera interview? The phrase “in camera” is a Latin term defined in Black’s Law Dictionary as: “In chambers; in private.” The interview does not involve a camera or a videotape at all! If a party is asking for the Court to have an in camera interview of a minor child, the request is for the Judge or Magistrate to interview the minor child privately with neither parent or his/her attorney being present. An Appellate Court in Michigan said it very well years ago . . .

“A child custody determination is much more difficult and subtle than an arithmetical computation of factors. It is one of the most demanding undertakings of a trial judge, one in which he must not only listen to what is said to him and observe all that happens before him, but a task requiring him to discern and feel the climate and chemistry of the relationships between children and parents. This is an inquiry in which the court hopes to hear not only the words but the music of the various relationships.” Dempsey v. Dempsey, 96 Mich. App. 276, 289 (1980).

What is the goal of an in camera interview? The goal is to provide the minor child with the comfort and security to be able to express his/her wishes regarding custody, visitation, and other child-related matters in a safe, non-adversarial environment with neither parent being present to hear what the child is saying. The Court must determine what is in the child’s best interest, and this is one way to gain insight to the issues in dispute.

Who is present at an in camera interview? The interview is conducted by the Judge or Magistrate assigned to the case. If a Guardian ad Litem has been appointed to assist with the case, the Guardian ad Litem may also be present for the interview. That determination is up to the Court. A court reporter is typically present to transcribe the interview, but the interview transcript is not available to either party/parent or to his/her counsel in order to provide some level of confidentiality to the child’s wishes.

How is the in camera interview conducted? Not surprisingly, every Judge has his or her own style. Most try hard to put the child at ease and chat in a conversational manner to minimize the child’s discomfort. Typically, the Judge won’t just blurt out a question such as “Where do you want to live?” Judges try to get a true sense of where the child is coming from, but also try to detect if a parent has perhaps intentionally or unintentionally placed pressure on the child to express a certain opinion.

How does one obtain an in camera interview? Either party may request an in camera interview of the minor child/children by filing a Motion with the Court in the pending action. A minor child should not be brought to Court for an in camera interview unless the Motion for the interview has been granted by the Court setting a specific date and time for the interview to take place. Divorce Court Judges generally do not want children being brought to Court and “caught in the middle” of the litigation between their parents. While the Judge must ultimately determine what is in the child’s best interest, you need to be sensitive to the pressure this process places on a child.

When does an in camera interview take place? The Court usually wants to conduct the hearing and hear the evidence before the interview of the minor child takes place. But, each Magistrate or Court handles these interviews differently. In addition, many Courts have their own rules regarding in camera interviews. Sometimes the Court will set a separate date for the child to be interviewed, not wanting to conduct it on the same day as the hearing or trial. Most Judges/Magistrates will, however, ask the attorneys for an overview of the suggested topics to discuss in advance of the actual interview.

How old does a child need to be for the in camera interview? The law says that the child must be a minor and not under a legal disability. The Judge must first determine if the child is of sufficient age and maturity to express his or her opinions. If the child is “too young” or immature, his or her wishes may not be considered by the Court. Obviously, the older the child, the more likely his or her wishes will be considered by the Court. There is no automatic age of election in Ohio, so no child regardless of his/her age has a “right” to select which parent obtains custody.

Can I block the Judge from conducting the in camera interview because I don’t want my child subjected to it? Probably not, absent some unusual circumstances. When a Motion for the in camera interview has been filed, you have an opportunity to object or respond with your position. But, it has been held that the plain language of Ohio Revised Code Section 3109.04(B)(1) absolutely mandates the trial court to interview the child if either party requests the interview. If the child is in counseling, it would be good to mention it to his/her therapist in advance of the interview so that the therapist can try to de-stress the entire process with the child.

Will the Court conduct an in camera interview if a Guardian ad Litem has been appointed? Yes. While some might think it would be duplicative with a Guardian ad Litem investigation, if one parent requests an in camera interview, it must be conducted even if a Guardian ad Litem has been appointed.

Will I learn what my child has told the Judge in the in camera interview? Typically, the Judge will bring the attorneys into the courtroom or chambers at some point after the interview and share a sense of the content of the interview. Most Judges are somewhat guarded and prefer not to divulge too much detail from the interview in order to avoid possible retaliation by an unhappy parent.

Conclusion:

Parents and counsel should be very cautious about requesting in camera interviews. Realize that even having a “private talk” without the attorneys and parents present may make the child feel like he/she has “testified.” Keeping the children out of the middle of the divorce or custody litigation should be a high priority. Try not to put your child in a position to have to “make a choice” as to which parent to live with. This can be extremely unfair and can create huge pressures on a child. Ideally, the only time an attorney should consider having a child participate in an in camera interview is when the child has voiced a strong desire to do so, and the child’s wishes are critically important to the determination at hand.

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Fact or Fiction: Biological Children Fare Better Than Adopted Children?

Robert L. Mues — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 10:00:06 +0000

According to figures from the U.S. Census Bureau, there are 2.1 million adopted children and 4.4 million stepchildren of householders as estimated from the Census 2000 sample. Together, these children represented approximately 8 percent of the 84 million sons and daughters of householders in 2000.

It is a fact, based upon several recent surveys, that children in adoptive households are treated better than children in homes with two biological parents! Adoptive parents were more likely to enrich their children’s lives to compensate for the lack of biological ties and invest more effort recognizing that adopted children needed more help to succeed. Nigel Barber, Ph.D., author of Kindness in a Cruel World, wrote a fascinating article in Psychology Today Blogs on June 1, 2009, about the subject (click here to read). He analyzed two recent studies, both of which have findings that are inconsistent with the fairy-tale claim that parents cannot treat genetically unrelated children as well as their own kin.

In a study of homes having one natural child and one adopted child using records provided by an adoption agency for over 22 years, anthropologist, Kyle Gibson, concluded that adopted children were more likely to attend preschool and to receive private tutoring than biological children. Adoptees had a better likelihood of receiving cars and personal loans, and their parents spent more time at the adoptees’ sports events. According to Gibson’s study, the likely reason that parents invested more in their adopted children was not that they favored them or loved them more than their biological children, but that they recognized that adopted children had more significant problems such as drug or alcohol addiction, delinquency problems, and were more likely to receive welfare. So, to avoid that result, parents of adopted children compensate and provide more involvement to their adopted children.

Laura Hamilton of Indiana University has written a thorough analysis about a 2007 study, which was published in the February edition of The American Sociological Review, with similar findings and conclusions. She found that adoptive parents enrich their children’s lives to compensate for the lack of biological ties and the extra challenges of adoption. To read the study, click here.

Other studies have also concluded that adopted teens scored better than their non-adopted siblings in:

Connectedness – Having three or more friends and having access to two or more non-parent adults for advice.
Caring – Placing a high value on helping other people.
Social Competency – Friendship making and assertiveness skills.
Optimism – Expecting to be happy in 10 years and expecting to be successful as an adult.

Click here to read more about these conclusions from a study conducted by the Search Institute in Minneapolis.

Many adopted adults are quite successful and famous. Here is a list of adults who had been adopted as children:

Halle Berry (actress)
Robert Byrd (U.S. senator)
Peter and Kitty Caruthers (figure skaters)
Eric Dickerson (football player)
President Gerald Ford
Melissa Gilbert (actress)
Scott Hamilton (Olympic gold medalist skater)
Debbie Harry (singer, a.k.a. Blondie)
Faith Hill (singer)
Steve Jobs (co-founder of Apple Computers)
Bo Diddley (musician)
Jim Palmer (professional baseball player)
Nancy Reagan (former First Lady)
Les Brown (Motivational Speaker)
Dave Thomas (Founder of Wendy’s)
Edward Albee (playwrite)
Ingrid Bergman (actress)

For more information about adoption, click here to link to the National Council for Adoption website, whose mission is to promote the well-being of children, birth parents, and adoptive families by advocating for the positive option of adoption.

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Kids Who Protect Parents

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 10:00:55 +0000

Our responsibility as parents is to nurture and protect our children. We do everything possible to ensure their physical safety and to care for their emotional and psychological needs as well. It seems a bit odd to think that many children and teens feel like it is their responsibility to protect us.

This occurs most frequently in divorce situations. Kids are acutely aware of their parents’ emotional wellbeing and are very reluctant to say or do anything to upset their families. One 10-year-old told me that she had lots of questions about the divorce, but knew her mom was already upset.

“I hear her crying on the phone after I go to bed. I don’t want to make it any worse for her.” Rather than talk with her mom, she speaks with friends at school or to her Boston terrier. Neither can really meet her needs.

This oversensitivity to the feelings of parents also plays itself out in cases of sexual abuse. One of the most perplexing aspects of such abuse is the reluctance of many children to say something to their parents. There are many complicated reasons why children don’t tell, but a major factor is their desire not to hurt their parents. For a 9 year old boy who was molested by an older cousin, it made sense not to say anything.

“My cousin is part of our family. My parents would get really sad and mad if they found out about this.”

Financial uncertainties are another challenge for our kids. They see things in the media, overhear bits of their parents’ conversations, but say nothing for fear of upsetting their parents. They feel it’s better to worry in silence rather than speak up and hurt their parents.

I suppose we should laud our kids’ desire to look after us. However, we need to know their concerns about divorce, death, money and most certainly abuse.

How can we tell our kids that we don’t want them to protect us from such topics?

Make meaningful conversations an integral part of your family life. Turn off the TV, computers and cell phones and talk with your kids on a routine basis. I’m a big advocate of using meal times for family discussions. This needs to be habit that is nurtured, with an expectation that everyone contributes at the dinner table. Listen carefully to what your kids are saying and ask questions to help them to clarify their thoughts and feelings.
Don’t overreact. If you want your children to talk about important things, then you need to respond in ways that encourage such discussions. Avoid lecturing and be careful of exaggerated responses. Seek to understand your children’s perceptions rather than judge, lecture or offer your point of view.

While it’s nice that our kids want to protect us, we need to keep emphasizing that what we really want is for them to permit us to understand their private worlds.

To sign up to receive Dr. Ramey’s FamilyWise monthly E-newsletter, click here.

[Reprinted by permission from the July 12, 2009 edition of the Dayton Daily News, “Kids Who Protect Parents”, Family Wise, Gregory Ramey, PhD]

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Preventing a Parentectomy After Divorce

Robert L. Mues — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 09:19:36 +0000

One of the most interesting and well written pieces that I have read in a long time is a keynote address presented by Dr. Frank S. Williams to the National Council for Children’s Rights in Washington D.C. on October 20, 1990. Dr. Williams is a noted child psychiatrist and the Director of Family and Child Psychiatry at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. While this presentation was almost 19 years ago, Dr. Williams’ sage advice is no less relevant now than it ever was!

During my 31-year law career, I have focused a large part of my efforts both professionally and as a member of various community organizations and non-profit Boards towards diverse child-welfare related causes. So with that stated background, I whole-heartedly encourage everyone to read Dr. Williams’ presentation in full, by clicking here.

I will attempt to capsulate some of the salient points as well as set forth the six (6) recommendations he made based on his extensive clinical experience to prevent parentectomies.

According to Dr. Williams, a ”parentectomy” is the removal, erasure, or severe diminution of a caring parent in a child’s life, following separation or divorce. A parentectomy is the most cruel infringement upon children’s rights to be carried out against human children by human adults. Parentectomies are psychologically lethal to children and parents.

The consequences for a child may be that he or she is actually abandoned by a parent who became burned out by years of court fights and battling a pervasive pattern of alienation known as parental alienation syndrome (PAS). According to Dr. Williams, that while kids hate to see battling parents, they misinterpret a parent giving up the fight as that parent not caring enough about them. “These children frequently become depressed – especially in later adolescence. At times their depression reaches suicidal proportions. In my own clinical work, as well as in school and emergency room consultation experience during the past 15 years, I have found a very high correlation between suicidality in adolescents and a divorce in their earlier years, which virtually results in one parent being erased from their lives.”

So what did Dr. Williams conclude or recommend you ask? He states that “the following recommendations on how to prevent parentectomies may, in part, appear drastic. These prevention measures, which are presented in the spirit of suggestions and based on clinical experience, include:

Person contemplating marriage and children should consider a proposed mate’s tendency toward relying on the role of being a parent as his or her exclusive identity. Such persons may need to rely totally on full-time control over the children for identity following divorce.
One should try to fall in love with and have children with a mate who has great empathy for children’s needs and feelings. A mother or father with empathy who loves his or her children will usually not subject the children to a parent removal.
One should not separate from one’s mate without a scheduled, structured, legal custody arrangement in advance of parting the marital relationship.
Once separated, a parent should never speak with and certainly should never see a mental health professional – other than a court appointed one – that he or she has not helped choose in advance; and should further avoid like the plague a friendly-sounding psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, or counselor, who calls and says he or she wants to help the parents and children through the pain of divorce. This is especially so when that professional has already seen the children and the other parent.
Parents should seek and hopefully find attorneys not biased by the conviction that all children need a primary home and a primary caretaker after divorce.
The first moment it becomes clear that scheduled custodial time with one’s child is being consistently blocked, the parent so blocked should run (not walk) with his or her attorney to the nearest family court.”

As a teaser to encourage you to read the rest of his address, I have purposefully omitted some very candid observations about “hired-gun” child development experts, false allegations of sexual abuse, psychological “allergic” reactions to the other parent and how attempts at performing a “parentectomy” surgery create a psychological reign of terror!

Parenthetically, I must note that Dr. Williams also makes a very interesting point based upon his personal consultations with Dr. Richard A. Gardner, a renowned clinical professor of psychiatry, known for coining the term parental alienation (PAS) in 1985. Apparently, Dr. Gardner defined the term “joint custody” much more narrowly than most. When Gardner stated that “joint custody” requires a high degree of parental cooperation, he was using his particular definition of joint custody – one in which there is a free-flowing, flexible arrangement; one in which the children and the parents may frequently shift schedules, may often change the days and times the children are with each parent; and may alter parental responsibilities for the children’s school and social activities. Dr. Williams learned that Gardner believed “that when there are two highly bonded loving parents, a rigid structured schedule of even 50-50 shared residential overnights, as well as a pre-defined structure decision-making authority plan for each parent may be appropriate to best serve the children.” Unlike most people, Dr. Gardner would just not define such a 50-50, rigid structured arrangement as “joint-custody”. So when a psychologist or lawyer talks about Dr. Gardner’s conclusions about joint custody, it is worthwhile to appreciate how he defined that term.

I will be posting more in weeks to come based upon my recent personal conversations with Dr. Williams. He has many more interesting insights to share! Stay tuned…

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A Dramatic New Guardian Ad Litem Rule in Ohio

Shawn P. Hooks — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 09:27:51 +0000

The Ohio Supreme Court instituted new rules on March 1, 2009, regarding the role and responsibilities of a Guardian ad Litem (GAL). Ohio Rule of Superintendence 48 codifies these rules. As background, a GAL is a person appointed by the court in both domestic relations and juvenile cases to protect the best interest of the child. The GAL typically issues a Report to the court detailing the investigation and setting forth a recommendation. It is not uncommon for a GAL to be involved in most juvenile cases and in many domestic relations cases involving minor children. Prior to Rule 48 there were no uniform GAL rules in Ohio, but many courts have had their own rules; and in addition, lawyers serving as GAL’s were bound by the Ohio Rules of Professional Conduct.

The new Rule does several things. But the most important may be establishing certain training requirements and defining the responsibilities of the GAL in his or her investigation. Finally, the Rule sets forth what must be included in the GAL’s Report.

The first major element in the rules is that it sets forth specific training requirements. Previously, in some Courts there were virtually no training requirements. In other Courts a person was mandated to attend a training seminar before becoming a GAL. In Montgomery County, for instance, an attorney had to take a general Juvenile Law Certification Seminar first, which was six hours of education. Beyond that, a person had to undergo a two-day, twelve-hour seminar discussing numerous topics in order to become a GAL. Those training programs in Montgomery County were excellent, in my opinion, having attended them in 2008. However, other Courts would allow attorneys to serve as a GAL with no additional training at all!

Under the new Rule, an attorney must complete, at a minimum, a six-hour course that has been approved by the Ohio Supreme Court. This course must include training on child development, various communication skills, child abuse prevention, general family and child issues such as drug abuse and domestic violence, and a legal framework for conducting records checks and utilizing resources. In addition, an attorney who has met these requirements and is already serving as a GAL must complete a three-hour course annually to stay updated. The various courts are responsible for monitoring and making sure all attorneys remain in compliance.

The next major component of the rule is that it sets forth the responsibilities of a GAL. These are the minimum requirements a GAL must do in each case unless it is “impractical or inadvisable.” The list includes seventeen different things. First and foremost is that the GAL is to represent the “best interests” of the child. This includes being independent, objective and fair, as well as being courteous in all the proceedings. It goes without saying that a GAL needs to appear and participate in all hearings where the child’s interest is at stake. If the GAL is an attorney, they should file pleadings when appropriate.

If the person is both attorney and GAL for the child, it is his or her responsibility to advocate for both the child’s wishes and for the best interest of the child. If there is a conflict between these two positions, the GAL must notify the court, in writing, as soon as possible in order to have the conflict resolved. The GAL must avoid any other conflicts of interest; and if one arises, must notify the Court promptly. He or she must immediately indicate that they are serving as a GAL when contacting individuals for the case.

Finally, the GAL must take steps to become familiar with all aspects of the case; including the child, family members, and other individuals in their lives. In order to do this a GAL must meet and observe the children with both of the parents, or prospective guardians, as well as conduct an interview with the child outside the presence of the parents. Additionally, a GAL must meet and interview the parties and other significant individuals who have knowledge of the case. A home study must be conducted of any homes where the child might live. Depending upon the age of the child, the GAL must determine the child’s wishes. The investigation must include a review of the case records and any criminal, civil, educational, therapy or counseling records and administrative records pertaining to the child or the child’s family. The GAL must interview school personnel, medical providers, and child protection workers and obtain copies of any applicable records. If there is a need for additional psychological testing or substance abuse testing, the GAL should recommend that the court orders additional testing. Finally, the GAL must do anything else necessary to make a recommendation based on a thorough investigation and what is in the best interest of the child.

The GAL conveys his or her recommendations and the findings of the investigation in a written report that is submitted to the court. The rule establishes certain requirements in compiling a report. The report is required to list who was interviewed, what documents were reviewed, what activities were performed, and any relevant information considered by the GAL in making his or her recommendation. The report is to be filed seven days in advance of any hearing.

The report of a GAL is a very important part of the court proceedings. I am pleased to see this statewide effort to mandate complete and thorough GAL investigations. In the past, unfortunately, some court-appointed GALs put minimal effort into their investigations resulting in poor reports. A person can lose custody of a child predicated upon a GAL’s recommendation. Undertaking this role is a tremendous responsibility which affects many lives. Our justice system demands caring, compassionate and highly trained GALs who review all facts of the case before making any recommendation.

To read Superintendence Rule 48, please click here.

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Children’s Extracurricular Activities A Delicate Balancing Act Post Divorce

Robert L. Mues — Sat, 30 May 2009 10:34:22 +0000

In the second of a two-part series, attorney Robert Mues discusses the impact that a divorce may have on juggling a child’s activities and parenting time.

A recurring battle that I see in my family law practice is how to juggle a child’s extracurricular activities after a divorce. There is no black and white answer, of course, to this question. In many cases where there is shared parenting or both mother and father continue to communicate with each other and place the child’s best interest in perspective, both parents will attend the child’s after-school activities and will seamlessly foster the child’s continued participation in the activities no matter which home the child may be residing in. However, in a large number of post-divorce situations, especially in high conflict cases or where the parties do not live in close proximity with one another, continuation of extracurricular activities can present a major problem.

Oftentimes, I hear a non-custodial parent complaining that the custodial parent has enrolled the child in numerous extracurricular activities which prevent or impede the non-custodial parent from having any meaningful one-on-one parenting time with the child. Many courts throughout Ohio and other states have adopted a provision in their Standard Order of Visitation to address that issue. In Montgomery County, the Standard Order states, “Regardless of where the children are living, their continued participation in extracurricular activities, school related or otherwise, should not be interrupted. It shall be the responsibility of the parent with whom the children are residing at the time to discuss the scheduling of such activities with the children and to provide transportation to the activities. Each parent shall provide the other parent with notice of all extracurricular activities, complete with schedules and the name, address and telephone number of the activity leader, if available.”

Under Ohio law, the Court is charged to allocate the parental rights and responsibilities of the parties’ minor children as are in their best interest. There are a myriad of factors that the Court is required to consider to determine the child’s “best interest.” Click here to read all of those factors.

The Second District Court of Appeals for Montgomery County, Ohio, issued an interesting opinion in the case of Daufel v. Bardsley in August 2008. Both parents had filed contempt motions against the other, in part, dealing with conflict over extracurricular activities of their two minor children, ages 8 and 6. The Decree of Divorce provided that father was to have parenting time for six weeks each summer, but it must be exercised according to the Standard Order of Parenting Time. Mother had arranged a complex set of activities for the two children during the summer and wanted father to agree to have the children attend mother’s daycare in Dayton during the summer so that the children would be able to attend their extracurricular activities uninterrupted. Instead, father who lived in Wilmington, Ohio, about 30 miles away from mother, wanted to have the children with him in a daycare setting in Wilmington as he had done in prior summers. In analyzing the situation, the magistrate found that, “’[g]iven the numerous extracurricular activities the children are involved in and the distance between Roger’s [father’s] daycare provider (in Wilmington) and these activities, it is physically impossible for the children to attend all extracurricular activities.” Accordingly, the magistrate decided (1) that “[w]hen the children visit with Roger [father] during the summer, he shall be responsible for providing daycare,” and (2) that “[i]f the children are placed in daycare in Wilmington, Ohio where Roger works, they do not have to attend the extracurricular activities in Montgomery County [where mother lives].’”

This part of the Court Order was ultimately appealed to the Second District Court of Appeals which upheld the Magistrate and the trial court’s decision. The Court of Appeals held that the issues of attendance at extracurricular activities are “. . . issues which are within the sound discretion of the trial court to determine.” Further, they held that the goals of the provision of the Standard Order of Parenting Time, cited above, to be aspirational, not mandatory. The Court then went ahead to uphold the Court’s modification of the provision of its Standard Order of Parenting Time.

The holding of the Court of Appeals in this case makes it clear that litigants should not lose sight of what is in the best interest of their children by believing that provisions of a Court’s Standard Order are “black and white” and not subject to modification. Here, the trial court, in my opinion, correctly determined what was in the children’s best interest by balancing the children’s attendance and participation in extracurricular activities with the need for the children to be able to fully exercise summer parenting time with their father.

The magistrate observed in Daufel that it is unfortunate that these children have parents that “engage in a contentious battle of post-decree motions and do not place at the forefront what is in the best interest of these young children.” The Court of Appeals went on to endorse that view and urged the parties to conform their future conduct to serve the needs of their children rather than their antagonism against each other. Click here to read a full copy of the Court of Appeals opinion in Daufel v. Bardsley.

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Children’s Extracurricular Activities Appropriate Or Excessive?

Robert L. Mues — Sat, 23 May 2009 09:08:31 +0000

This is the first of a two-part series dealing with children’s extracurricular activities. Next week, I will address the impact the divorce may take on a child’s extracurricular activity schedule when the parents have conflicts with each other.

There is no doubt that extracurricular activities can be very beneficial to a child. According to a recent study by the Nellie Mae Education Foundation, children who participate in after-school programs are more engaged and have a better attitude about learning, perform better academically and enjoy an increased sense of accomplishment, competence and self-esteem. Additionally, participation also lowers children’s risk of becoming depressed, using drugs and alcohol, and experiencing other behavioral problems.

Recently, while researching this topic, I came across an excellent article about how to choose after-school activity(ies) for children at www.scholastic.com. It also gives a breakdown discussing appropriate types and numbers of activities per week which are recommended based on the age and maturity of the child starting with kindergarten through middle school. The article offers advice which will help a parent determine if it is time for their child to start an extracurricular activity, what’s the best option and how to find a good program.

Recently, Gregory Ramey, Ph.D., a child psychologist at Dayton Children’s Hospital and Dayton Daily News columnist, addressed a similar inquiry from a reader wondering if a child can be too involved with an extracurricular activity. Here the reader was asking about their 15 year old daughter, Maddie, who’s been involved in gymnastics since she was three years old and practices about 16 hours during the weekdays and competes on weekends year round. In response to that background, Dr. Ramey gives advice on how you can tell if your child’s dedication is beneficial or excessive.

Be mindful of the effects on the entire family. While it’s great that kids are passionate about something, you need to carefully assess the impact on others, particularly siblings. Family life involves endless compromises in trying to balance the needs of adults and kids. In families with a high achieving teen, other siblings may inadvertently pay a high cost. The support of one child shouldn’t come at the cost of other family members.
Keep the activity in perspective. While we don’t want to discourage kids from their passions, they do need a reality check about the significance of their activity for their future educational and vocational aspirations. Maddie’s mom has made it clear to her daughter that “school is number one.”
Be willing to walk away from the activity. There have been times when Maddie has encountered tough times and wanted to end gymnastics. How would her mom and dad have responded if she wanted to stop gymnastics? “My parents are really into it…they wouldn’t be too happy.” Disappointment and frustration are inherent in the passionate pursuit of excellence. There are times when you should offer encouragement and not allow your child to give up when confronting difficulties. However, you should anticipate and be willing to accept the reality that there may be a time when your child abandons their passion for other pursuits.
Regularly assess the real value of the activity. Most of our kids will never grow up to be professional baseball players or gymnasts. The value of their commitment is less in the acquisition of athletic skills and more in habits and friendships that persist long after the activity has ended. Maddie’s mom described the peer support that Maddie gets daily in the gym as “…the kind of friendships you don’t often get in life.” Maddie has also learned about discipline, persistence, and time management – habits that will serve her well throughout her lifetime.

Dr. Ramey concluded that, “The child may never back flip her way to the Olympics, but I suspect she will be a successful person in whatever she does.” Click here to read Dr. Ramey’s full article.

One of the points clearly made in the scholastic.com article mentioned above is that it’s important to watch your child for signs of over-scheduling. “In younger children, this most often takes the form of irritability, avoiding eye contact and tantrums. In older children, look out for mood swings, recurrent sickness, such as stomach aches, and complaints about the activities themselves. At any age, if the school work begins to suffer, it’s time to cut back.” Click here to read the full article, by Toby Leah Bochan, at scholastic.com.

While balancing children’s extracurricular activities can be difficult in a conventional intact family, read next week’s blog article where I discuss the impact that a divorce may have on juggling a child’s activities and parenting time.

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