I haven’t written an article about the holiday season for the Ohio Family Law Blog for a couple of years. At that time, I mentioned that this is certainly an appropriate time to reflect upon core values as well as memories of past Christmas celebrations and traditions.

In our family, we were very involved with a Christmas project providing gifts for needy children for many years while our sons were growing up. As a family, we spent countless hours working at the Center. We have tried to instill upon our family the importance of sharing and helping others. It is too easy this time of year to become consumed by all the shopping, decorating, numerous errands and superficial things. Focus can be lost on real matters of consequence, such as the meaning and importance of family. Regardless of one’s religious convictions, this is an excellent time to reflect upon our core values and aspire to do what we each can to make the lives of others around us better, even if it is in some small seemingly insignificant way.

This year we visited a local church hosting an Alternative Holiday Gift Giving event. This is a new concept for us. It was sponsored in part by Alternative Gifts International, a non-profit organization that inspires support for humanitarian and environmental causes. They offer donors the option to designate charitable gifts through carefully selected agencies in the name of their relatives, friends and associates.  It was really a wonderful event! My wife and I brought our long list of family members we exchange gifts with. We then spent considerable time visiting each of the 40 or so booths all promoting charitable organizations or agencies from the Dayton, Ohio, area as well as throughout the United States and abroad. There was such a huge array of wonderful causes it was both mind boggling and heart wrenching!

We did our best to match the names of the people on our list with a cause that was in keeping with that person’s interest and personality. It was a lot of fun!  But the best part was how it made us feel knowing that the small contributions we made to over 20 organizations were going to help the lives of people who were REALLY in desperate straits. It was nice that for each contribution made we were given a handmade ornament, a fact sheet about the specific charity or organization’s mission, and a holiday card with a thoughtful message to mail.

When Christmas comes, I know that my 13-year-old niece will be thrilled about her gift of a small fish pond and a vegetable garden to a rural school on the border of Thailand and Myanmar, where over 50% of those children are significantly malnourished.  Likewise, my daughter-in-law’s dad, who is an avid outdoorsman, will smile knowing that he made a gift to plant 130 trees in Haiti to help ecological efforts and the Haitians recovery from the tropical storms and the 2010 devastating earthquake… I don’t want to spoil the entire gift list, so I will leave it at that. I hope you are intrigued enough to go to the website of Alternative Gifts International yourself and get some meaningful holiday satisfaction yourself by clicking here.

Another idea, if you get hooked on this concept and have a child between 9 and 12 on your list, perhaps you might consider buying a book titled “The Good Fun Book” by Karen Duncan and Kate Hannigan Issa. It is a gift in the real sense of the word because it can help us turn the “gimmes” into giving; it serves as an antidote for extravagant children’s parties; and at the same time, it really provides lots of “good fun” for kids and adults. For each month of the year, the authors suggest activities where kids can give to others, can make things, and can find out about real people who have created efforts to do good. Take February–children are inspired to have a Valentine’s Day party where they make Valentine’s Day cards for children in local hospitals and make care boxes for children at local crisis centers or shelters. They can read about two people who have made a difference–Matt Flannery and Jessica Jackley. After visiting Africa and seeing many people in dire need, Flannery and Jackley created Kiva, a micro-lending website where children and adults can select struggling entrepreneurs and lend them some money for their business ideas, such as a banana seller in Uganda who wants to build a house. These are loans, and thus are repaid–so if your child lends $25 dollars, he or she will get it back and can reinvest it in someone else. A cool concept. Click here to read about “The Good Fun Book” or to learn where you can order it.

I want to wish everyone a wonderful holiday season. May it be one of the best ever!

Some holidays warrant special attention.  Independence Day is certainly one of them.  Last year, I wrote an article for the occasion which I dedicated to my Aunt Marion.  In it, I shared some meaningful personal memories and experiences.  I have decided to repost it, but this year I want to dedicate it to a wonderful client I represented this past year through a very long and difficult divorce.  “Jane” is one of my all time favorite clients!  In part, due to her class, intelligence, grace and the exceptional humor she exhibited throughout the proceedings which hit her from “left field” and ended a 19 year marriage.  Together, we worked through each painful issue step by step to trial.  She and I connected . . .   So, why do I mention this?  Well, Jane became a reader of the Ohio Family Law Blog and grew up in Maine, like my Aunt Marion.  Jane read the 4th of July article I wrote and after her case was done, Jane made a generous donation of children’s books to both a local library and to Dayton Children’s Hospital in honor of my Aunt and as a “thank you”!  What a wonderful and exceptionally thoughtful gesture!  If you read my article below, you will see the reason Jane selected the gift of the children’s books.

Jane, as I have previously said, you are the best!  Much happiness to you in the future, and I hope you have a wonderful 4^th!

The Red Ones Are the Best!

It seemed appropriate that I should write something for the blog geared towards the “Birthday of America”. In the past, I liked to reflect upon the holidays and tried to find some correlation between the specific holiday and my family-law practice. Not always an easy task without becoming repetitive in discussing how to celebrate the day in the aftermath of a traumatic divorce.  So, as I pondered possible themes, I considered offering a bit of a twist on “Independence Day”. Or, perhaps, writing a patriotic post about America and the importance of family values.  In the end, I decided to go in a different direction.

As I think about this holiday, it brings back many fabulous memories. As a child, it was in my top two or three yearly holidays. I loved that it was the official start of summer and school was over. Warm weather was here and a family vacation was near. Having grown up in New Jersey, I loved cookouts with family, seeing friends at the pool, or even better, going “down the shore”. Riding the waves, salt-water taffy, the boardwalk, and of course, sunburn.

Being 55 years old, I remember fireworks galore exploding in ways that were not safe in light of today’s standards. And I mean having to smack out live embers which landed in your hair or your lap. Oh, what memories…So you ask, what does the title of this post have to do with anything? Well, I will tell you. Now the greatest 4th of July memory for our family is synonymous with one particular Independence Day. Not at the Jersey Shore this time, but a trip to another of my childhood favorites – North Waterford, Maine, and the Five Kezar Lakes. Frog gigging, fishing, bonfires, fresh lobsters, water-skiing and swimming in the pristine, crystal-clear lakes. Absolutely remarkable!

While the serene natural pine tree-filled Maine environment is remarkable, it did not compare to the events of this one particular 4th of July evening.  My sons were probably 11 and 12 years old at the time. After a great day outdoors with our family, cousins, and my Aunt and Uncle, we drove to the Oxford Plains Speedway in Oxford, Maine. Not our family’s usual activity, but what the heck. We are always up for something new especially if it has a local flair.  As I recall, Shirley Muldowney raced in her jet-propelled pink dragster against “Big Daddy” Don Garlits that night. The intense heat generated from the dragsters could be felt throughout the grandstands! After that we then experienced the thrill of a sensational high-impact, collision-filled demolition derby. But the highlight of the night was to follow. We were immediately engulfed with fireworks literally exploding right on top of us launched from the infield of the speedway! You had to lie down in the bleachers to see the blasts since they were right over your head. My cousin, an honored VietNam veteran, must have had flashbacks at the time. The announcer then proceeded to give a “play by play” for each firework shot in the air, repeatedly exclaiming over the loudspeaker with his distinctive Maine accent, ”the red ones are the best!”  How right he was! To this day, my sons always repeat the story about the speedway fireworks every time they see any fireworks!

Thinking about this wonderful memory of Maine and Independence Day not only reminds me of that spectacular firework display but of the close relationship and love I enjoy with my Aunt Marion, who lived in Maine at the time.  She is a talented, feisty and independent lady, much like her sister, my Mom. While employed, my Aunt was, among other things, a passionate librarian who had a love for well-written children’s books. She enjoyed reading them to all the kids.  So in honor of her I say, “Happy 4th of July, Aunt Marion. You will always be in my heart.”

Also, feeling that I must deliver some valuable information to our blog readers rather than just sharing my own memories, and as a tribute to my Aunt, please click here to see a wonderful list of children’s books written about the 4th of July compiled by James R. Heintze, author of “The Fourth of July Celebrations Database”.

Happy 4^th of July everyone! May it be truly memorable!

It seemed appropriate that I should write something for the blog geared towards the “Birthday of America”. In the past, I liked to reflect upon the holidays and tried to find some correlation between the specific holiday and my family-law practice. Not always an easy task without becoming repetitive in discussing how to celebrate the day in the aftermath of a traumatic divorce.  So, as I pondered possible themes, I considered offering a bit of a twist on “Independence Day”. Or, perhaps, writing a patriotic post about America and the importance of family values.  In the end, I decided to go in a different direction.

As I think about this holiday, it brings back many fabulous memories. As a child, it was in my top two or three yearly holidays. I loved that it was the official start of summer and school was over. Warm weather was here and a family vacation was near. Having grown up in New Jersey, I loved cookouts with family,seeing friends at the pool, or even better, going ”down the shore”. Riding the waves, salt-water taffy, the boardwalk, and of course, sunburn.

Being 55 years old, I remember fireworks galore exploding in ways that were not safe in light of today’s standards. And I mean having to smack out live embers which landed in your hair or your lap. Oh, what memories…So you ask, what does the title of this post have to do with anything? Well, I will tell you. Now the greatest 4th of July memory for our family is synonymous with one particular Independence Day. Not at the Jersey Shore this time, but a trip to another of my childhood favorites – North Waterford, Maine, and the Five Kezar Lakes. Frog gigging, fishing, bonfires, fresh lobsters, water-skiing and swimming in the pristine, crystal-clear lakes. Absolutely remarkable!

While the serene natural pine tree-filled Maine environment is remarkable, it did not compare to the events of this one particular 4th of July evening.  My sons were probably 11 and 12 years old at the time. After a great day outdoors with our family, cousins, and my Aunt and Uncle, we drove to the Oxford Plains Speedway in Oxford, Maine. Not our family’s usual activity, but what the heck. We are always up for something new especially if it has a local flair.  As I recall, Shirley Muldowney raced in her jet-propelled pink dragster against “Big Daddy” Don Garlits that night. The intense heat generated from the dragsters could be felt throughout the grandstands! After that we then experienced the thrill of a sensational high-impact, collision-filled demolition derby. But the highlight of the night was to follow. We were immediately engulfed with fireworks literally exploding right on top of us launched from the infield of the speedway! You had to lie down in the bleachers to see the blasts since they were right over your head. My cousin, an honored Viet Nam veteran, must have had flashbacks at the time. The announcer then proceeded to give a “play by play” for each firework shot in the air, repeatedly exclaiming over the loudspeaker with his distinctive Maine accent, ”the red ones are the best!”  How right he was! To this day, my sons always repeat the story about the speedway fireworks every time they see any fireworks!

Thinking about this wonderful memory of Maine and Independence Day not only reminds me of that spectacular firework display but of the close relationship and love I enjoy with my Aunt Marion, who lived in Maine at the time.  She is a talented, feisty and independent lady, much like her sister, my Mom. While employed, my Aunt was, among other things, a passionate librarian who had a love for well-written children’s books. She enjoyed reading them to all the kids.  So in honor of her I say “Happy 4th of July, Aunt Marion. You will always be in my heart.”

Also, feeling that I must deliver some valuable information to our blog readers rather than just sharing my own memories, and as a tribute to my Aunt, please click here to see a wonderful list of children’s books written about the 4th of July compiled by James R. Heintze, author of “The Fourth of July Celebrations Database”.

Happy 4^th of July everyone! May it be truly memorable!

I want to wish everyone a most joyous holiday season!

This is an appropriate time to reflect upon memories of past Christmas celebrations and traditions. In our family, we were very involved with a Christmas project providing gifts for needy children for many years while our sons were growing up. As a family, we spent countless hours working at the Center. We have tried to instill upon our family the importance of sharing and helping others. It is too easy this time of year to become consumed by all the shopping, decorating, numerous errands and superficial things. Focus can be lost on real matters of consequence, such as the meaning and importance of family. Regardless of one’s religious convictions, this is an excellent time to reflect upon our core values and aspire to do what we each can to make the lives of others around us better, even if it is in some small seemingly insignificant way.

Family issues are obviously important, both personally and professionally. Much of my professional life is spent with clients discussing family and marital issues. In my conferences with clients, I often find that many have obtained bad or erroneous information from family, friends or other sources. That is why, in part, I decided to launch the Ohio Family Law Blog a year ago.

Many Divorce and Family Law Blogs across the country concentrate narrowly on divorce advice. I have endeavored to “look outside the box” and provide a much broader array of information. People whose marriage may be going through a difficult time should have access to balanced information. Parenting is tough. It can cause stress in a marriage. Thanks to guest contributor, Dr. Gregory Ramey, PhD., I have been able to include on many occasions his practical and sage advice on parenting issues. I have also posted many articles which, in one way or another, deal with the impact of our poor economy and related financial concerns on a marriage. Money issues can be a huge stressor in many marriages.

The last year has been an exciting and enjoyable one for me! I have learned a lot about “blogging.” Many of the lawyers across the country who publish family law blogs have offered great advice and served as an inspiration. I am looking forward to 2009 and continuing to try to publish the best family law blog in the land. If you have topics for me to consider including, I would love to hear from you!

I would be remiss not to thank Mike Reinemann, the best webmaster in cyberspace, for all he does to keep our firm’s website and blog professional, unique and rich with great imagery! Officially, “thanks Mike”!