Parenting Time Suspension can occur when a parent’s bad behavior gets in the way of the child’s best interest.

“Children must be considered in a divorce, considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.” – P.J. O’Rourke

The truthfulness of O’Rourke’s statement cannot be more evident. Children going through a divorce are often caught in the middle of two parents at war. They can be fighting about money, parenting time, adultery committed, or even about why the toilet seat was once again left up. Although this fighting in and of itself can be a traumatic time for a child caught in the middle, the worst of the fighting results when a parent uses his or her children to hurt the other parent.

In a case in Montgomery County, Ohio, recently affirmed by the Second District Court of Appeals, the Court decided that it was time to show parents that bad behavior can result in a suspension of parenting time.

Thomas Gisslen had his parenting time suspended when the Courts determined his behavior resulted in a traumatic experience for his children. Mr. Gisslen became involved with the Courts in 2007 when he filed for a Legal Separation. His wife answered with a counterclaim for Divorce. The hearing was not officially heard until September 14, 2010, due to several motions being filed either requesting continuances or going as far as attempting to disqualify the Judge and Wife’s attorney. Although Gisslen’s behavior was outrageous regarding the amount of time it took to actually hear the case, Gisslen’s behavior was even more concerning with regard to the way he handled parenting time with his children. During his parenting time, Gisslen followed a procedure that he referred to as the “safety check”. When it was time to exchange the children for the scheduled parenting time, Gisslen would either videotape or record the exchange, and out of the many exchanges that occurred he requested police presence at approximately fifty (50) of the exchanges. Once, after his parenting time, he refused to return the children and the Hamilton County law enforcement had to intervene. If these experiences were not dramatic or traumatic enough, Gisslen went even further. He started taking pictures, during his parenting time, of the children naked to examine the photographs for any signs of abuse. Gisslen had made several allegations of abuse to the Children’s Services Department in Hamilton and Montgomery County; however, no proof of any abuse was ever found. Gisslen recorded every single conversation he had with his children and his now ex-wife and he went to the children’s school and attempted to delay the younger child’s enrollment in kindergarten. There was evidence in the court record indicating that the children were scared of Mr. Gisslen and did not feel safe with him. At the time of the final hearing, Mr. Gisslen refused to participate and as he left the courtroom he stated ,“Have a nice hearing. See you.” The Court then awarded custody to the mother and suspended Gisslen’s parenting time.

While many may be applauding the court’s exertion of their power in this case, others question a court’s ability to make decisions resulting in a suspension of a parent’s ability to exercise parenting time. Ohio law gives the court broad powers related to how it can decide whether or not a parent should have parenting time. It is located in the Ohio Revised Code, Section 3109.051(D). The ultimate determining factor concerns what is in the best interest of the child. In making this determination courts consider the following factors:

1. The child’s relationship with parents, siblings, and others involved
2. Where the parents reside and the distance between those locations
3. The child’s and parent’s available time
4. The age of the child
5. The child’s adjustment to home, school, and community
6. The child’s wishes and concerns
7. The health and safety of the child
8. The amount of time available for the child to spend time with siblings
9. The mental and physical health of all parties involved
10. A parent’s willingness to participate in parenting time
11. Criminal offenses of the child’s parents or others involved and whether or not the child has been found to be an abused or neglected child or if the parents have been previously determined to be a perpetrator of an abusive or neglectful act
12. If a person is not a parent, that individual’s criminal record and whether or not that person has been found to be a perpetrator of an abusive or neglectful act
13. Whether a parent has denied the other parent parenting time with the children
14. Whether a residence has been established outside the State of Ohio or if a parent is planning on establishing a residence outside the State of Ohio
15. Wishes and concerns of the child’s parent regarding requests for parenting time by those who are not the child’s parent
16. Any other factor in the best interest of the child

The way in which you act during a divorce proceeding can weigh very much in your favor or against you. It is exceedingly important that although you may be suffering internally and want to be vindictive and spiteful, if you have children, you must think of what is best for them. If you feel your spouse is abusive, rather than take naked pictures of your children (which can result in mental anguish for your children and can be seen as abusive), request that a court appoint a guardian ad litem for your children to investigate these allegations. While one should keep in mind the factors the court looks to in determining parenting time, they should also remember that it is ultimately what is in the best interest of the child; and if your behavior is not conducive to what is in the best interest of your child, you can be sure the court will make note of that when determining parenting time.

If you are interested in reading the actual appellate court decision, click on Gisslen v. Gisslen.

If you are interested in learning more about Parenting Time schedules in Montgomery County, Ohio, please click on Parenting Time.

On July 1, 2011, the Domestic Relations Court of Montgomery County, Ohio adopted a “new” and “revised” Standard Order of Parenting Time, previously known as the Standard Order of Visitation.  Over the years, our elected officials in Columbus, Ohio have chosen to “rename” terms frequently used in the Domestic Relations Court.  The phrase “parenting time” replaces the older word of “visitation”, and, the term “parental rights and responsibilities” replaces the older word of “custody”.  It should be noted that with each change in legislation, the older or former terms have been replaced with longer names or phrases!

I have practiced Family Law for over twenty years.  Until recently, the Standard Order of Parenting Time, fka Standard Order of Visitation, provided for the non-custodial or non-residential parent to have five (5) weeks (35 days) of visitation or parenting time each summer.  Additionally, if the non-residential parent submitted to the custodial parent his/her request for summer parenting time between the dates of March 1 and April 1 of each year, the non-custodial parent was to have preference as to the summer parenting time schedule.

The most striking change in the “new” Standard Order of Parenting Time involves Item 8 entitled “Summer Vacation”.  Instead of the five weeks (35 days) of visitation/parenting time, the non-custodial parent shall have parenting time in alternating one week increments beginning the first Friday after the last day of school.  Each one week of parenting time shall commence at 6:00 p.m. on Friday and continue until the following Friday at 6:00 p.m.

Mid-week (usually Wednesday) and alternating weekend parenting time are suspended during the summer vacation period.  Child support shall not be reduced or suspended during this three (3) month period of time even though the non-residential parent is equally dividing the Summer Vacation.

What caused the Court to change or modify the former Standard Order of Parenting Time?  Michael Howley, Legal Administrator of the Court, advised me that the Court made the change because so many non-residential parents were “tacking on” the weeks of Summer vacation  to their normal alternating weekends in an effort to get more than five (5) weeks of parenting time.  Is the new schedule working for parents?  Michael Howley advised me it was too early to tell as the Court has not had sufficient time to evaluate the “new” Standard Order.

To test how this new allocation of summer parenting time will work for next year, I selected Monday, June 4th as the last day of school.  Accordingly, the non-residential parent (usually Father) would commence his first one week period of visitation at 6:00 p.m. on Friday, June 8, 2012.  That one week period of parenting time would end or conclude at 6:00 p.m. on Friday, June 15, 2012.  The second week for the non-custodial parent would then begin at 6:00 p.m. on Friday, June 22, 2012.  I then selected August 21, 2012 to be the first day of school for the next calendar year.   This results in the summer visitation schedule to end on Friday, August 17, 2012 (the last Friday before the commencement of school).  I then counted the total number of weeks of parenting time for the non-custodial parent and was surprised to find the number of weeks to be five (5) as contemplated by the “former” or “old” Standard Order of Parenting Time.

What other changes are reflected or noted in the “new” Standard Order of Parenting Time?

• The visitation periods for Holidays and Mother’s/Father’s Day shall conclude at 9:00 p.m. rather than 6:00 p.m. providing the non-custodial parent with an additional three (3) hour period of time.  (I can already hear complaints from Mothers of young children arguing that 9:00 p.m. is “too late” to be getting home and commencing the bedtime routine!)
• Make-up visitation shall only be scheduled if “requested” by the non-custodial parent.  The “old” Standard Order simply mandated that all make-up parenting time shall be rescheduled and exercised within sixty (60) days.
• Non-emergency phone calls should be limited to one call per day before 8:00 p.m. (EST).
• The second paragraph of the “old” Standard Order regarding actions to be taken by the parents if a child indicates a strong opposition to being with the other parent has been replaced with one sentence– Each parent has a duty to facilitate and encourage the other’s parenting time with the child or children.
• That when there are conflicting dates, this is the order of priority:  Children’s birthdays, Mother’s/Father’s Day, Holidays, Summer/Breaks, Weekends, Weekdays.  In the old Order, Holidays came before birthdays & Mother’s/Father’s Day.

What remains the same with the “new” Standard Order of Parenting Time?

• Parents are encouraged to agree on a fair written parenting time schedule that fits their circumstances and their children’s lives.
• The Standard Order is to be followed as a schedule when the parents cannot agree upon a schedule between themselves.

As with all child-related issues and especially with visitation or parenting time issues/questions, it is important for the parents to be flexible, willing and able to compromise, and understand that circumstances can and do change with all infants, toddlers, children, and adolescents.

In the days of my parents who were born in the 1920’s, persons typically lived in the small towns or cities in which they were born and remained there carrying on the family farms or businesses or following the trades or professions of their parents.  In today’s society, people are much more mobile.  Persons move to find employment, attend college, or due to military assignments.  Many individuals who have had their marriage terminated in another State may find themselves now living in the Miami Valley area.  Some of those persons are parents of minor children.  So, if Post-Decree problems occur, to which Court do they go for help or assistance?

I should explain that “Post-Decree” refers to situations which occur after the parties’ Final Judgment and Decree of Divorce or after the parties’ Decree of Dissolution of Marriage have been filed.  So, the parties’ marriage has ended but issues may continue regarding spousal support, child support, parenting time schedules, transportation, etc.   If the parties’ Final Decree of Divorce or Final Decree of Dissolution was filed in a state other than the State of Ohio, that Decree is referred to as a “foreign decree”.  It is “foreign” in the sense that it was not filed in this State.

Case Scenario:

I was involved in a case wherein Wife/Mother and Husband/Father terminated their marriage by a dissolution proceeding in the State of Georgia.  In mid-February, 2009, Mother relocated to this area in order to accept a teaching position at the School of Nursing at Sinclair College. Husband/Father resides in the State of Michigan.  There are Post-Decree problems related to child support, parenting time schedules, transportation for visitation, and Husband’s failure to pay those liabilities he was supposed to pay per the Decree.  His failure to pay the liabilities assigned to him has led to a very negative credit report for Wife/Mother.  She needed relief for her and the minor children associated with all of the foregoing issues or problems.  So where does she file? Which Court does she turn to for relief?

Answer:

Because Mother and the two minor children relocated from Georgia to the State of Ohio in February, 2009, Ohio became the “home state” of the children after they resided here for six (6) months.  Accordingly, Ohio became the “home state” of the minor children on or about mid-August, 2009, allowing us to file her multi-branch motion here in Ohio.  Subsequent to that date, I assisted my client in registering her “foreign decree” in this State.

Pleadings that had to be prepared to accomplish the foregoing included the following:

• Petition to Register a Foreign Support Order and to Register a Foreign Final Judgment of Dissolution of Marriage.
• Mother’s Affidavit in Support of her Petition.
• Mother’s Parenting Proceeding Affidavit.
• Mother’s Affidavit of Financial Disclosure.
• Mother’s Title IV-D Application for Child Support Services.
• Entry and Order to Register a Foreign Support Order and a Foreign Final Judgment of Dissolution of Marriage and Notice of Hearing.

An important point to be emphasized for clients and attorneys, the Petition to Register the Foreign Support Order and Foreign Decree must have a time-stamped and certified copy of the Foreign Order/Decree attached thereto.  Many times the client is reluctant to “give up” their certified copy…another one can always be obtained from the original Court.

In the last pleading enumerated, the Entry and Order to Register Foreign Support Order and Decree, the former Husband was advised that the Foreign Decree would be registered as an Order of the Montgomery County, Ohio, Domestic Relations Court unless the former Husband could establish one of several defenses:

• That the Order was obtained by fraud.
• That the Order has been vacated, suspended, or modified by a later Order.
• That the issuing tribunal has stayed the Order pending appeal.
• That there is a defense under law of this state to the remedy sought.
• That full or partial payment has been made.
• That the statute of limitations under ORC Section 3115.41 precludes enforcement of some or all of the arrearages.

Father was not able to establish any of the above defenses and Wife’s Petition to Register a Foreign Support Order and a Foreign Final Judgment of Dissolution of Marriage was granted.  This allowed us to have a hearing set so that we could proceed on Mother’s multi-branch Motion for Relief.

There are many technical issues involved with this process of Registering a Foreign Court Order.  If jurisdiction exists that the matter could still be litigated in two differing states, it makes sense to have a lawyer in the original state provide an opinion as to the anticipated outcome. Understand that support amounts can vary dramatically from state to state.  Probable results can then be compared.  So, considering the strategy of the jurisdictional issues can be very important! This is not something that should be attempted without the assistance of a family law attorney.

For many kids, Halloween is one of the most important holidays of the year. The child of divorce is faced with choices and concerns. Who will take me treat-or-treating? Who will get my costume and dress me? Where will I trick-or-treat?

Then, of course, there logistical problems for the divorced parents. By addressing these issues in advance, parents can reduce stress and not distract from the child’s positive experience. These include:

• In two-parent homes, often one parent gives out candy while the other parent takes the child trick-or-treating. Now there is only one parent in the home. Do you stay and give out candy or do you go with your child?
• Parents often do not specify in their divorce decree who “gets” the child on October 31. If it falls on a visitation day, some children feel disappointed that they don’t get to trick-or-treat in their own neighborhood with their friends. This is particularly true for the first Halloween, when new friends and acquaintances may not have been established in the new neighborhood.
• Halloween reminds the parents of the reality of joint custody and that you will not share some of your child’s experiences.
• In time, the child will grow comfortable with his two homes and it is likely he will enjoy the “doubles” of divorced families, such as two vacations, Christmases, and birthdays. But you may feel left out or cheated.
• Halloween is a peer driven event. Most children want to go trick or treating with their friends.
• Parents should listen clearly to what their children want to do on Halloween. This does not mean “making them choose.” It means paying attention to the child’s comfort level and enthusiasm. Then make plans in a way that can meet the child’s needs.

Some things to keep in mind:

• The child should be allowed to trick-or-treat with friends in his familiar surroundings. If extended family members want to see the child dressed up, they should come to where the child is, rather than dragging the child around and taking him/her away from his/her peers.
• It can be a positive experience if both parents can be involved with the process. One parent takes the child out and then other stays back at the house giving out candy. Unlike other scenarios, this one will not give children the false hope of the parents reuniting. Rather it says to the child, my parents can “rally” beyond their problems to do what is best for me.
• Limit candy intake. This is always important at Halloween, as kids are already pretty wired. This is especially so in a newly-separated/divorced family where there may be added stress or tension.
• Picture taking is important. The child should pose with each parent separately, again reinforcing the fact that while the parents are no longer a couple, they are both still involved with the child.
• If the choice of costume becomes an issue, let the parent who was responsible for costumes in the past make the decision/purchase this year. Next year you can begin to alternate that responsibility.

In the future, as the child becomes more comfortable in his new home and has made connections with children in that neighborhood, trick-or-treating can be alternated. There may be possibilities of trick-or-treating in both neighborhoods. Remember this is the child’s holiday. Follow his/her cues on what s/he wants. The adults have plenty of other choices to make. This one belongs to the child.

©2010. Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC, is a licensed psychotherapist in Connecticut. Her newest book is available at bookstores everywhere, Amazon.com or at www.profileactics.com. This article is from her first book, From Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life: A Woman’s Journey through Divorce, which won an Honorable Mention Award by the Independent Publishers Association. To read more about the author and her work, please visit www.donnaferber.com

The lazy, hazy days of summer will soon be gone, only to be replaced with the frenetic days of a new school year.  Despite the grumblings from your children about returning to school, most children are actually ready to resume the routine that school brings. The beginning of the school year is exciting. Your child will be happy to see friends and to meet their teachers, but it can also be a time of uncertainty and worry. They might be concerned about how they will do this year in school, if their friends are in their classes, or if they will like their teachers.  It can be especially difficult for those students attending a brand new school, or those who are transitioning from elementary to middle school, or middle to high school.

As parents, we want to be sure to help our children get off to a smooth start to the new school year. It can especially be a challenge if you are sharing custody with a former spouse or if you are the non-custodial parent.  For those of you who operate under a shared parenting plan and split parenting time, say every other week, or every two weeks, it is important that you help your child to adjust to the new year and the new routine.  For example, when it is your turn to have your child stay with you, don’t just assume that your child will bring everything he or she will need.  Consider having duplicate supplies, clothes; and if the school is willing, extra sets of text books. It can be disorienting to the child if he or she is constantly worrying about where everything is.  Although in many cases I realize that this is not a feasible suggestion, but for the sake of your children you should try and speak with your ex-spouse and try to establish the same study routine.  If this is just something that will never happen, do speak with your child so that he or she clearly understand the rules at your house.  For example, you might expect that they will get their homework done right when they return home, but your ex-spouse may not find that of importance.  Calmly let your child know what your rules and expectations are and that their mother or father may do it differently when they are staying with them.  Tell them that is okay, but your way will work better the time that they are with you.

For those of you who have to live in a different state than your children, you face different challenges.  Fortunately, technology has made us all much better equipped to stay in touch.  Most all schools have web-sites, and teachers have their own page which will help you to get acquainted with the school and the teacher.  Many teachers, especially at the elementary level, post regular weekly newsletters telling about what is happening that week.  Many upper-level teachers post assignments and grades on line.  Email your child’s teacher and introduce yourself letting the teacher know that even though you live out of state, you would like to be an integral part of your child’s education.  Some teachers are willing to conduct phone conferences or web-cam conferences.  Earlier this year I posted an article on our blog that gives suggestions on how you can keep in touch with your child’s teacher and school.  Please click here if you would like to read the article in its entirety.

In any event, it is important for our children to know that we care about what they are doing in school.  I hope that this school year is a happy and successful one for your child!

A large body of research overwhelmingly suggests children do best when they have both a mother and a father involved in their lives. Specifically, children whose fathers participate in raising them do better in school, are less likely to get into trouble with the law, and are more likely to be better parents themselves. While more fathers are being awarded legal custody of their children, the statistics seem to indicate that the majority (between 75 and 85 percent) are awarded to mothers. Today, nearly 20 million children live in a home without a father (2002 U.S. Bureau of the Census). Recent Census Bureau child-custody statistics indicate that nearly 40% of non-custodial fathers have no access or visitation rights whatsoever with their children.  A very troubling statistic, indeed! Of those that do have visitation rights, what percentage are actually seeing their children regularly? The statistics in the studies vary greatly. But it seems clear that frequently the amount of contact the children have with their fathers diminishes over time.  A recent study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family finds that children born outside of marriage are less likely to be visited by their father when the mother is involved in a new romantic relationship. It also finds that the mother’s social decisions typically have a direct affect on the contact between a father and his child. However, like most studies which I have read, it concludes that non-residential fathers SHOULD continue visitation despite the inherent complications when mother starts dating as it is in the long term best interests of the child.

A review of the research that I have seen also makes it clear that children, especially daughters, benefit considerably when the parent they are not living with nevertheless does everyday things with the child, from shopping, reading, visiting, doing homework, watching TV together, to spending holidays together.  For a school-age daughter, doing everyday-type things together with the parent she is not living with is the strongest predictor of psychological well-being.

Don’t Let Geographical Distance Deter You!

Perseverance may no doubt be required, but Dads need to press on to be as involved as much as they can with their children. I recently concluded representation of a father who has fought in a rural Ohio juvenile court for the last 4 years to expand his parenting time and to ultimately obtain an order of Shared Parenting for his 5-year-old daughter, despite his living in North Carolina. His perseverance was incredible as were the efforts of a dedicated Guardian ad Litem who flew two times to father’s home in North Carolina to evaluate firsthand their strong and developing father-daughter bond. This wise father had allowed his relationship with his daughter to grow naturally and gradually over the years. As much as he wanted her with him, he elected not to force any extended out-of-state visitation beyond his daughter’s comfort zone. What has occurred is that his daughter wants to spend as much time with him as possible. This child will have a much better chance to grow to become a very healthy adult because of Dad’s efforts despite a very contentious court battle. The child will be attending school in Ohio, but father has court-ordered parenting time both in Ohio and North Carolina as well as utilizing virtual visitation online to supplement his "in-person" contact. Dad continues to read books to her at night online with the use of a web camera.

I would like to share a quote by George Bernard Shaw which seems apropos:

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them."

If that one doesn’t work for you, here is one that I am sure my client would especially enjoy since it is from one of his heroes, Erin Brokovich:

"Take It From Me: Life’s a Struggle but You Can Win.”

Think outside the box. In this day and age, staying connected with a child is possible regardless of geographical distances, acrimonious litigation, work schedules or other obstacles. An excellent resource for helping parents dealing with these issues is the Separated Parenting Access and Resource Center (SPARC), a non-profit organization dedicated to promoting the best interests of children involved in custody and divorce proceedings. Click here to go to SPARC’s website. Also, you might be interested in reading my prior articles about Virtual Visitation. Click here to read the first about Utilizing Technology to Supplement Parenting Time. Click here to read the second about The Legal aspects of Virtual Visitation.

As we are now into the month of November, it is not too early for divorced and divorcing parents to look ahead to the upcoming Christmas Holiday.  Here are some “tips” regarding the “nuts and bolts” of handling the Christmas holiday season.

1. Read and examine the Parenting Time Schedule for your particular County which should be attached as part of your Final Decree or Court Judgment.  The Domestic Relations Court and Juvenile Court of each County have differing schedules. If your parenting time schedule has been lost or misplaced, you can obtain a replacement from your attorney’s office or the clerk where your order was filed.

   For example, Montgomery County, Ohio, has the following provision as to the Christmas Break:

   In all even-numbered years, the Mother shall have the children from 9:00 a.m. the day after school recesses (or 9:00 a.m. on December 20 if the children are not in school), until 9:00 p.m. December 24, and the Father shall have the children from 9:00 p.m. December 24 through 6:00 p.m. January 1.  In odd-numbered years, the reverse shall apply.

   And, Greene County, Ohio, has the following provision as to Christmas Break:

   In all even-numbered years, the Mother shall have the children from 9:00 a.m. the day after school recesses until 12:00 noon December 26, and the Father shall have the children from 12:00 noon December 26 through 6:00 p.m. the day before school resumes.  In all odd-numbered years, the reverse schedule shall apply.

2. Plan your Christmas Schedule with family members according to the Parenting Time Schedule that is in place for you.  For example, if you are to have the children from December 20 to December 24 (Montgomery County, Ohio),  do not invite your parents or extended family members to your home to celebrate Christmas with you and the children on December 25 and expect your former spouse or estranged spouse to agree to your request to have the children on Christmas Day.
3. Remember that children truly are resilient!  Christmas Eve does not have to be celebrated on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day does not have to be celebrated on December 25 of each year.  You and your children are free to celebrate the holiday when you have the children in your care and custody…..it is “okay”  to celebrate the holiday early, and it is entirely acceptable to celebrate the holiday “after” the holiday.  You merely say to the children and the relatives…..this is Father’s year to have the children for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day so I am inviting you to celebrate the Christmas holiday on December 26 or even December 27.
4. If you have extended family members that absolutely can not comply with your Parenting Time Schedule for a given year, reach out to the ex-spouse or the estranged spouse to see if he or she would be willing to trade visitation time so that the children do not miss visitation with grandparents and/or extended family.Example: Due to my parents’ work schedules, they can not arrive in Dayton before December 26. You are scheduled to have the children from December 26^th through the first of the year.  Would you be willing to have visitation with the children for this year from December 20 through December 25 so that my parents could have time with the children the latter part of the Christmas holiday period.
5. Treat your former spouse and/or your estranged spouse with respect and kindness (if at all possible!).  You are much more likely to obtain compromise and flexibility in parenting time schedules if you are open and willing to compromise and adapt to change.
6. Assume that your children are your first priority and that their happiness and well-being is of paramount importance.  This may remove the battle over whether Wife “wins” or whether Husband “wins” in visitation matters.
7. If you anticipate there is going to be a “problem” with parenting time this year,   there is little time to wait to file a motion with the Court to seek its intervention. Such a motion would need to be filed immediately to try to secure a hearing date before the holiday.

In my opinion, there are really no “winners” in divorce proceedings…..a family unit has been lost!  In the best of situations, the parents of the children of divorce will cooperate with one another to achieve a workable parenting time schedule to meet the needs of the minor children of the parties.

For many parents contemplating a divorce or dissolution of their marriage, a primary concern is which parent shall have “custody” of the child or children of the marriage.  I shall begin the article by addressing the differences between the two parenting systems in Ohio – “sole custody” and “shared parenting”.

1. The parents have different names or titles:  In a situation where one parent has “sole custody” of the child/children, that parent is designated as the “residential parent and legal custodian” and the other parent is designated as the “non-residential parent” or the “non-custodial parent”.  In a shared parenting situation both parents have the same title. They are both designated as the “residential parent and legal custodian” of the child or children.  For school district reasons of residency and tuition, one parent’s residence is typically designated as the residence of the child for school district purposes.  The parent whose residence is the residence of the child for school district purposes may have a slight advantage over the other party as he or she has the ability to change residences with the child changing school districts accordingly.  For example, in a “shared parenting” arrangement wherein Mother’s residence is the residence of the child for school district purposes, if Mother chooses to move from Beavercreek, Ohio, to Centerville, Ohio, the child’s school district changes from Beavercreek to Centerville without a need to return to Court.  Unless, of course, the Father believes the change in school districts is not in the “best interests” of the child or children.
2. The parents have different parenting time schedules, also known as visitation schedules:  In a situation wherein one parent has “sole custody” of the child or children, the parent who is the “non-residential” or “non-custodial” parent generally has visitation with the child or children on alternate weekends from Friday at 6:00 p.m. until 6:00 p.m. on Sunday.  Some parents agree that the “non-custodial” parent shall also have overnight visitation on his/her alternate Sundays.  The “non-custodial” parent is also granted visitation on one or two weekdays per week for a three (3) hour period of time usually from 5:00 p.m until 8:00 p.m. that same evening.  Clearly, the parent who has “sole custody” of the minor child or children has much more time to spend with the child/children of the marriage than the “non-residential” parent.  In “shared parenting” arrangements, some parents seek to spend approximately equal time with the child or children of the marriage.  This can be arranged by the child or children moving from one parent’s residence to the other parent’s residence each week (usually on a Saturday or Sunday evening).  Other parents continue with alternating weekends but having one parent with overnight visitation on three to four nights one week and for two to three nights the following week resulting in each parent having the same number of overnights each month.
3. The parents have different child-support obligations:  Again, in a situation wherein one parent has “sole custody” of the child(ren), the other parent is designated as the Obligor for child-support purposes. He or she is ordered to pay child support to the “custodial parent” for the benefit of the minor child of the parties pursuant to the Child Support Guidelines adopted by the State of Ohio, or as they may agree.   It is my experience in this field that the Obligors, usually Fathers, firmly believe that the child-support obligations are too high and that the Obligees, usually Mothers, firmly believe that the child-support obligations are too low.  In situations wherein the parties have “shared parenting” of the minor child(ren), there is a provision in the Child Support Calculation Worksheet for the Obligor’s child-support obligation to be deviated downward depending upon the time the Obligor spends with the child. Accordingly, if Father is the Obligor in a “shared parenting” situation and if he has parenting time with the child or children for 50% of the available parenting time per month, more than likely, he would be entitled to a decrease in his child-support obligation.
4. The parents have different decision-making considerations:   In a situation wherein one parent has “sole custody” of the minor child or children of the parties, that parent has a major role in decision making.  He or she can make the following decisions:

In a “shared parenting” situation, the parents should discuss and make mutual decisions regarding the foregoing issues as well as other important decisions which are in the best interest of the children.

Ideally, “shared parenting” certainly works best with parents who respect one another, communicate well, and who both wish to operate under a “shared parenting” arrangement.  But not all Ohio Courts take such a narrow view. Some will order “shared parenting” believing it is still in the best interests of the kids even if the parents’ communications are fractured and one party opposes it! It is important to know the Judge’s philosophy on this issue.

It is newsworthy that the State of Ohio has taken major “hits” in the job loss category and that our unemployment rate approaches 10%.  Recently, General Motors, aka Delphi, has closed most plants in Dayton causing a massive loss of jobs in the manufacturing sector.  Then, National Cash Register (NCR) announced the company was moving its headquarters and nearly fifteen hundred (1500) jobs to a suburb of Atlanta, Georgia.  The Dayton Daily News has reported that eleven (11) policemen are slated to “lose their jobs” due to budgetary constraints.  Also, businesses associated with supplying the auto industry with parts and services are feeling a financial “crunch” as their major or primary customer was General Motors, aka Delphi.

So, what is a parent (Father or Mother) to do when facing or experiencing a loss of employment?

Scenario #1:   Father is the Obligor (parent paying child support to the Mother/Obligee). He was employed by National Cash Register (NCR).  He does not want to move to the suburb of Atlanta, Georgia, wherein the new company headquarters shall be located.  He does not want to leave the Dayton community as he wants to remain in contact with his children and he has an “upside down” home (which means that he owes more money on the home’s mortgage than the home is presently worth).  So, he decides to remain here and seek alternative employment.  He has three children and his present child support obligation is $300.00 per month per child for a monthly total of $900.00.

Upon learning of his loss of employment, Father needs to file for unemployment compensation and notify the Child Support Agency of his job loss.  Further, Father should seek assistance from counsel in filing an immediate Motion to Decrease Child Support based upon a substantial change in circumstances (his loss of employment).  If he chooses to do nothing, the Child Support Enforcement Agency (CSEA) can be likened to a “running” taxi cab meter.  His support obligation will continue to accrue at the rate of $900.00 per month until it is reduced by a Court Order.  The Court can not retroactively reduce an accrued arrearage without the consent of the Obligee.  The Court can start the new lower amount from the date the Motion for the support reduction is filed.  Bottom line – file the Motion as soon as the job is lost.

Scenario #2:  Father is the Obligor (parent paying child support to the Mother/Obligee). He receives notice that his position of employment is going to be terminated within three months or ninety (90) days.  He also has a child support obligation of $300.00 per month per child for three children for a total monthly obligation of $900.00.

With the knowledge that his position of employment is going to be terminated or eliminated in the near future, Father has some advance notice that financial circumstances are about to change abruptly.  The Obligor, with the information that his employment position is about to be eliminated, has the opportunity to file a Motion to Decrease Child Support and to obtain a hearing before the job loss has occurred.  This action provides notice to the Court and to the Obligee that financial circumstances are about to change and that child support obligations must be revised or amended accordingly.  Again, as in Scenario #1, the Obligor’s inaction will only create bigger problems such as having to pay an arrearage which has accumulated and a possible contempt action for failure to pay support and even the loss of driving privileges and/or jail time.

Scenario #3:   Father is the Obligor and he loses his job, and as a result, is behind on his support.  Mother says that he cannot have any parenting time with his children until he is current on his support.

Support and parenting time are not dependent obligations under Ohio Law.  What this means is that Mother can not deny parenting time based upon non-payment of child support.  If she does, she could be held in contempt for the improper denial of parenting time.

The loss of employment can be a depressing and demoralizing event for anyone.  The Court is generally sympathetic to the request for a reduction of the Obligor’s child support obligation due to the loss of employment UNLESS the Obligor engaged in some sort of conduct causing the loss of employment.  In those instances, the Court has the authority to “impute” income to the Obligor even if he or she has no income due to the actions or behaviors leading to the loss of employment.  The loss of a job, like other changes in circumstances of the parties, can have a dramatic effect on child support and/or spousal support.  Contact an experienced family law attorney as soon as possible to discuss the specific implications when such an event occurs.

The third Sunday of June has become known as Father’s Day just as the second Sunday of May has become known as Mother’s Day. On that “special” day in June, Fathers in the United States are feted with cards, gifts (often ties and wallets), meals especially prepared for them or “dinner out” at their favorite restaurants, as well other special treats such as the preparation of a favorite dish or dessert prepared at home.

From my readings at various websites, the origin of Father’s Day is not entirely clear.  Some say it began with a church service to honor Fathers in Fairmont, West Virginia, on July 5, 1908.  Others believe that Ms. Sonora Smart Dodd of Spokane, Washington, came up with the idea or plan to honor Fathers in 1909 while she listened to an earlier church service wherein Mothers were honored and praised.  Ms. Dodd’s Father, a veteran of the Civil War and a “single parent”, had successfully raised six (6) children following the premature death of his Wife.

Although the movement to honor Fathers began over one hundred (100) years ago, it took many years for this country to make this occasion an official holiday.  While citizens supported the concept of Mother’s Day with pride and enthusiasm, the idea of Father’s Day was at first met with laughter and satire. While President Woodrow Wilson “approved” the concept of an annual Father’s Day in 1916, it was not until 1924 when President Calvin Coolidge declared the day to be a national event.  Thereafter, Father’s Day was celebrated but was not made a federal holiday until 1966 when President Lyndon B. Johnson issued a proclamation declaring it to be so.  Later, in 1972, President Richard Nixon established Father’s Day as a permanent holiday to be celebrated on the third Sunday of June of each year.

The allocation of parenting time for Father’s Day is treated somewhat differently by each individual Domestic Relations Court throughout the state.  It is important to note that even though all Domestic Relations Courts are governed by the same statutes or laws (Ohio Revised Code: Title 31), each County may devise its own Local Rules including a Standard Order of Parenting Time.

To illustrate, if the Family Court of Montgomery County has jurisdiction of your case and the Standard Order of Parenting time has been ordered, the Father is entitled to parenting time on Father’s Day, no matter the parenting time schedule for said weekend, from 9:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. Fathers receive more time if parenting time is pursuant to the Standard Order of the Family Court of Greene County, Ohio.  There the Father is entitled to have parenting time from Saturday at 6:00 p.m. until Sunday at 6:00 p.m.

In Miami County, the Standard Order of Parenting Time Schedule states: “Father’s Day shall always be spent with the Father, regardless of which parent is entitled to the weekend.  If the parties cannot agree on times, the time shall be from 10:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. that evening.”  The Standard Parenting Schedule of Warren County, Ohio, provides for Father to have parenting time with the minor child or children from 9:00 a.m. until 7:00 p.m.

The Domestic Relations Court of Clark County, Ohio, has a one-page Standard Order of Visitation and neither Mother’s Day nor Father’s Day is addressed.  Nonetheless, I was advised by a spokesperson of the Court that the Magistrates will often address Mother’s Day and Father’s Day in the Entries and Orders they prepare.  Finally, the Preble County Domestic Relations Court Guidelines for Parenting Time of Non-Residential Parents do address Father’s Day as follows: On Father’s Day, no matter whose turn for visitation, the child(ren) shall be with Father from 1:00 p.m. until 8:00 p.m.

Whatever the exact schedule for Father’s Day, our law firm would strongly recommend that both parents urge and encourage parenting time between the child(ren) and Mother on Mother’s Day and between the child(ren) and Father on Father’s Day as it is so vitally important for children to spend time with each parent on his/her “special” holiday!