There are a number of different factors and circumstances that have an effect on the determination of custody in Ohio. According to O.R.C. §3109.04(F)(1), the court must consider all relevant factors when determining the best interest of the child. One of those relevant factors under Section 3109.04 (F)(1)(I) includes whether either parent has continuously and willfully denied the other parent’s right to parenting time or visitation as ordered by a court. While visitation denials may be relatively easy to prove in court, that alone doesn’t amount to parental alienation. Further, it is not uncommon for some amount of alienation to occur when parents first separate. Usually, the alienation subsides after the parents’ transition through the separation and move on with their lives. In some cases it doesn’t, and instead it continues and escalates to what has become referred to as “Parental Alienation Syndrome”. This disorder was first identified by Richard A. Gardner, a forensic psychiatrist, in the mid-1980s, and defines it as:

Gardner, R.A. (1998). The Parental Alienation Syndrome, Second Edition, Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics, Inc.

There are three stages of PAS. These stages include mild, moderate and severe. In a mild case there are naive alienators and the perpetrator can be educated and changed. However, in a severe case the perpetrator is often delusional and their entire being is focused on destroying the other parent’s relationship with the child.

How Do Courts in Ohio Deal with PAS Cases?

Most judges and magistrates are conservative in their orders. Even in severe cases, sanctions to the alienating parent are often relatively inconsequential. If a party perseveres and repeatedly demonstrates to the Court continued contemptuous violations by the alienating parent, a few brave judges have switched custody. In those cases, often the alienating parents ultimately become desperate, their excuses and mental health weaken. But typically, the time and effort to demonstrate this to a Court can take years; during which the innocent parent often becomes frustrated with the process recognizing the irreparable harm to the child. Mild or moderate cases of PAS do not result in custody changes. So expert testimony as to the level of PAS is required.

In Pathan v. Pathan, the Second District Ohio Court of Appeals in Montgomery County determined that a mild or moderate case of PAS was not enough to prove a change in custody was necessary. Pathan v. Pathan, 2nd Dist. No. 17729, 2000 WL 43711 (Jan. 21, 2000) at pg 4. In Pathan, the mother was found to have caused a moderate case of PAS in the child by disrupting the efforts of the father to communicate with his child. However, the court found that the harm caused by changing custody to the father outweighed the advantages of a change in environment.

In Allen v. Murphy, the Fifth District Ohio Court of Appeals agreed with the lower court’s determination that the mother engaged in “the worst sort of parental alienation” and created “an alternate sphere of reality” by convincing her children they were victims of abuse. Allen v. Murphy, 5th Dist. No. 2003AP100081, 2004-Ohio-2578, 2004 WL 1124953 (May 17, 2004) at pg. 1. This more severe case of PAS resulted in a change in custody. Another case of severe PAS was presented to the Ohio Court of Appeals Twelfth District in Doerman v. Doerman. In Doerman, the mother thwarted every attempt of the court to ensure the father parenting time. Doerman v. Doerman, 12th Dist., 2002 WL 1358792 (June 24, 2002) at pg. 6. The court determined it was in the best interest of the children that the father be named legal custodian.

PAS is one of many factors that are considered for the determination of custody set forth in O.R.C. §3109.04(F)(1). However, PAS can play a significant role in the determination of custody. Through an expert opinion, the court will first determine if PAS exists. Second, the court will make a decision as to the level of PAS in the particular case. In Ohio, there must be a severe case of PAS for custody to change on the basis of PAS alone. Proving a severe case of PAS is difficult. It requires exceptionally strong facts, a long history of alienation, expert testimony and a judge who is willing to make what might be perceived as a controversial decision.

Next week, Judianne Cochran, a nationally recognized expert on parental alienation, will be a guest contributor to the Ohio Family Law Blog. We are very pleased to be able to post an excellent article she has written for us outlining the warning signs of parental alienation. Don’t miss her insights!

What went wrong?

Perhaps this is related to your expectations. You had such high hopes for what it was going to be like to raise children. In an environment of love and acceptance, you knew that children would respond with kindness and affection. You put your children as your highest priority, ahead of your own interests and even before the relationship with your spouse.

In return for that passionate commitment, you expected to be around children who were generally well behaved, creative, sensitive, bright and engaging. While your kids sometimes act those ways, they are typically self-absorbed, insensitive and even mean-spirited. Completing simple chores become battles. For all that you have given them and for all of your sacrifices, why the heck can’t they just take out the trash once a week? Your kids don’t do as they are told, and it really doesn’t seem to matter what effect this has on you and your spouse.

You have responded in ways that you could never have imagined. You’ve lost your temper and occasionally spanked your younger children. You have threatened, cried, sworn and yelled. You have even repeated some of the exact words your parents said to you, breaking a solemn vow that you would never do some of the things your parents had done. When you are alone in the car, you wonder about the kind of person you are becoming. Rather than bringing joy into your life, kids have transformed you into a person you barely recognize.

There are three things you can do to get out of this dreadful and depressing cycle:

1. Stop making your children the center of your world. I realize that children take lots of time and energy, but always making them your highest priority is a mistake for them and for you. Kids shouldn’t feel that their wishes and wants always come first. The real world will never treat them that way, and neither should you.
   Take some time for yourself. Enjoy a hobby, read a book, exercise and make arrangements to do things with your spouse. Nurture that relationship. Stop feeling guilty about doing things that don’t involve your kids. It will make you a happier person and a better parent.
2. Become a more effective parent. Parents with “Child-Induced Depression” have one thing in common — they are generally ineffective disciplinarians. They don’t have any real control over their kids. They feel overwhelmed just getting through the day. They threaten, beg and yell — and yet nothing changes.
   Try the three techniques used by effective parents - make a clear and specific rule, develop a reasonable consequence, and consistently enforce your expectations.
   Focus on one specific behavior of concern. Don’t pick a big problem. In fact, it’s better to work on a small annoyance at first. Let’s say you want your child to empty the trash every day after dinner. Perhaps the new rule will be that using the computer or watching TV depends upon the trash being emptied the previous day. Don’t remind, plead or negotiate.
   Be willing to seek professional help if you can’t do this on your own. Eight sessions of therapy focused on parenting skills can transform your family and change your life.
3. You cannot determine how your children turn out. Your children’s development is the result of a complex set of environmental and genetic factors. You can’t control the type of people they will become. Accept that reality.

[Reprinted by permission from the November 2, 2008 edition of the Dayton Daily News, "What if you're not the parent you wanted to be?", Family Wise, Gregory Ramey, PH.D.]

On Tuesday, October 14, 2008, I had the opportunity to meet with and to interview Patti Schwarztrauber, the Executive Director of Artemis Center since April, 2002. The Executive Director, having a Master’s Degree in Social Work (MSW) and being a Licensed Social Worker (LSW), began her employment with Artemis Center in 1997. She worked at various positions, including being a Children’s Therapist and serving as a liaison between Artemis Center and Montgomery County Children’s Services before being named Executive Director six (6) years ago.

I learned that in Greek mythology, Artemis was traditionally the friend and protector of women in childbirth and young children. Artemis, a female, was associated with a mythological forest. Accordingly, a saying developed over time- “no harm shall come to those who walk in the woods of Artemis.”

The Artemis Center for Alternatives to Domestic Violence was established as Artemis House in June, 1985. The founders were six (6) women who often worked without pay or benefits to provide services to family members affected by domestic violence. Today, twenty three (23) years after being founded, Artemis Center has a paid staff approximating twenty five (25) and an annual budget of 1.6 million dollars. In fact, Ms. Schwarztrauber advised me that one of her most challenging responsibilities is to plan the budget and find funding for the yearly budget. The funding for this community agency comes from grants (government sponsored and private foundations), United Way, the Montgomery County Human Services Levy, and contributions. With the tightening of our economy and with the present banking/mortgage crisis, the Executive Director believes there will be more agencies vying or competing for fewer monetary resources.

An Artemis Center brochure reflects the following facts:

-One in four women experiences domestic violence in her lifetime.

-80 to 90% of children living in violent homes are aware of the battering and abuse.

The mission of the Center is “leading the Community in its commitment to end domestic violence.” It is interesting to note that their definition of “domestic violence” includes conduct which is broader than the definition in the Ohio Code Section 3113.33(A). Under Ohio law, domestic violence is defined as “attempting to cause or causing bodily injury to a family or household member, or placing a family or household member by threat of force in fear of imminent physical harm.” The Artemis Center has defined “domestic violence” to include “an intentional pattern of abusive behaviors used by one person to manipulate, control and intimidate a partner, other family member, or roommate.” Therefore, a party under the Artemis definition may be a victim of domestic violence if his/her partner:

-Puts her down, calls her names, constantly belittles her.

-Interferes with her use of the telephone or the family car (isolating behaviors).

Ms. Schwarztrauber confirmed that there are instances wherein the male in the family is the abused partner, but those instances are much, much less prevalent than the female being the abused partner. And, she confirmed there are instances of domestic violence between gay/lesbian partners.

The Artemis Center offers many services to victims of Domestic Violence and their children, and the services provided are “free” of charge to each client family. The services available include:

1. Twenty-four (24) Hour Domestic Violence Hotline (#937-222-SAFE or #937-222-7233). The telephone is answered by Artemis Center staff from 8:00 a.m. until 8:00 p.m. on weekdays (Monday through Friday). The telephone is answered by YWCA staff from 8:00 p.m. until 8:00 a.m. on weekdays (Monday through Friday) and on weekends. The “hotline” is the point of entry into the Artemis Center and the persons answering the “hotline” offer support to callers with the emphasis being “You are not alone!” and “You are not crazy!”
2. Children’s therapy program provides counseling to children who have witnessed domestic violence. The therapists include counselors and licensed social workers. Therapy sessions are available during morning hours, afternoon hours, and evening hours.
3. Assistance with the legal process is provided by Artemis Center. This may be in the form of an Advocate attending court hearings with the victims of Domestic Violence. The Advocates may be paid staff members or volunteers. Often, Advocates are recovering victims of domestic violence or survivors of domestic violence who want to return assistance to others who are experiencing difficulties within their homes. For the protection of the Advocates, they only use their first names for identification purposes.
4. Individual and group support sessions are provided by the staff of Artemis Center to assist victims with issues of finances, employment, visitation schedules, and other child-related and financial-related issues.
5. Workplace Safe from Domestic Violence Program is a program intended to educate employers about the issues involved with domestic violence.

Since the Artemis Center has been in existence since 1985 and since the Executive Director has been involved with the Center since 1997, I asked her if she has observed a decrease or decline in domestic violence. She related to me that she had not seen a decline in the incidence of domestic violence; and instead, she has observed increased brutality involving more family members, including children. And, she is concerned about the apparent increase in murder/suicides in domestic relations matters.

I found Patti Schwarztrauber to be completely devoted and committed to the goals of the Artemis Center. She is an avid advocate for victims of Domestic Violence in the greater Miami Valley area. She also advised me that other communities similar in size to Dayton have no comparable agency similar to the Artemis Center. We are indeed fortunate to have the Artemis Center available for our citizens affected by domestic violence in their homes. Click here to visit the Artemis Center website.

If you decide months after the divorce that you want to go back to a former name, it may be too late to have the Domestic Relations Court enter the name change for you. In that event, one would have to file a new action through the Probate Court to accomplish the name change. That Probate action would likely take several months and add filing fees and more costs.

Also remember, if you do change your name, be sure to report the change to the Social Security Administration. Otherwise, your earnings may not be recorded properly and you may not receive all the benefits you are due. Not changing your name with Social Security can also delay your income tax refund. It’s easy to do this by making a trip to one of their local offices. It usually takes about two weeks to have the change verified and the new card issued. The form is available on the Agency’s website, by calling toll free 1-800-772-1213 and at local offices. To accomplish this you will need to fill out an application for a Social Security card (form SS-5). For more information about this, including the documentation you need to bring, click here.

Some cases of domestic violence are so severe that an identity change may seem to be the only solution. At first glance, changing one’s social security number and name is an enticing proposition. However, there are a number of very serious consequences to consider before taking this drastic step.

Negative Consequences to Changing Your Identity and Social Security Number:

The effects of changing one’s identity and social security number are lasting. The victim is essentially eliminating any connection with his/her prior life and literally starting from scratch. The victim loses all professional and academic credentials, past credit history (good or bad), and loss of interaction with family and friends of the victim. This, in turn, makes it incredibly difficult to find a new career, buy a house or rent an apartment, obtain any type of insurance, or safely contact any former friends or family. Any transaction or event that requires identifying information will be inconvenient at the very least. Without job references, educational credentials, and credit history, it will be difficult to provide for oneself. Such extreme consequences is part of the reason less than 1,000 people undergo this identity change each year. In my opinion, it is important to exhaust every other available option before deciding to pursue this extreme option. Additionally, even after a person that resorted to this procedure, the effect of a federal law called “The Real ID Act” might undermine the effort.

The Real ID Act and Address Confidentiality Programs:

The Real ID Act is a new federal law that at present is to be implemented by the States by December, 2009. There have been fierce battles over the law between Homeland Security, privacy advocates and the States that oppose the demands of the Real ID Act. The act requires States to set up systems that will encode accurate personal information on the face of the card/license and enter the information into data banks shared by States and the federal government. The minimum information that must be on a Real ID driver’s license includes the person’s full legal name, the person’s date of birth, the person’s gender, as well as the person’s address of principle residence.

So how would this law impact a victim of domestic violence? The new regulations of the Act provide an exception that “A DMV may apply an alternate address on a driver’s license or identification card if the individual’s address is entitled to be suppressed under state or federal law or suppressed by a court order including an administrative order issued by a state or federal court.” In order to protect victims of domestic violence, roughly half of American States have created Address Confidentiality Programs (ACPs). The ACP can create a “dummy” address for the victim so the driver’s license or ID card wouldn’t divulge a person’s real address for a former abuser to potentially obtain. So, in the states with ACP’s, the victim might be able to get by with the “dummy” address on the license and entered into the data system. Ohio is one of the States that unfortunately does not have such a program. In those states without ACP’s the person’s true address might need to be entered into the “system”. While some of the original concerns of advocates for victims of domestic violence, such as the National Network to End Domestic Violence, have been reduced by the exception regulation added to the law, the organization is still very concerned. Cindy Southworth, technology project director for the NNEDV, says “given that there are less than six degrees of separation between most abusers and a friend or relative who works for the DMV, we are concerned about victim’s location information housed in State databases that could be searched nationally.” It is still unclear as to what information will be exchanged among the State-to-State databases and how it will be secured. This leaves lingering doubts as to the security of personal information for victims of domestic violence even in states with ACPs. To learn more about the NNEDV click here.

The Real ID Act as Applied to Ohio and Social Security Number Changes:

As indicated above, Ohio is one of the States that does not have an Address Confidentiality Program. The remedies for victims of domestic violence under Ohio law are limited to civil and criminal protection orders (CPO). Ohio’s domestic violence CPO statute does not address the issue of address confidentiality. However, as a matter of practice, courts in Ohio allow the victim to use an alternate address for court papers in order to keep his/her address confidential. It is also common to allow the victim to use an alternate address as the victim’s address on the CPO petition itself. In Ohio, it is not common that a probate judge when issuing a name change entry to include in the order language that the prior identity of the applicant is to be suppressed. As discussed earlier, the Real ID Act will still allow address confidentiality if it complies with a state or federal law, or the confidentiality was court ordered. The practice in Ohio does not fall into either category. In Ohio, the court does not order the address to be confidential, but rather extends it as an option. Therefore, domestic violence victims in Ohio do not have as many options as residents of other States to keep their addresses from falling into the hands of their abusers.

Conclusion:

In severe cases of domestic violence, victims do have the option of changing their identity and social security number. If I were considering that action, I would first look to move to a State with an ACP and consult with them first to learn the protections they can offer before thinking of the drastic identity change. To see a list of the States with ACPs click here.

This is the first of a two part article on this subject. While not widely known, the Social Security Administration had established a procedure in 1998 for victims of family violence to obtain a new Social Security number. The Administration states:

“Public awareness campaigns stress how important it is for victims to develop safety plans that include gathering personal papers and choosing a safe place to go. Sometimes the best way to evade an abuser and reduce the risk of further violence may be to relocate and establish a new identity. Following these changes, it also may be helpful to get a new Social Security number.

Although Social Security does not routinely assign new numbers, we will do so when evidence shows you are being harassed or abused or your life is endangered.

Applying for a new number is big decision. It may impact your ability to interact with federal and state agencies, employers and others. This is because your financial, medical, employment and other records will be under your former Social Security number and name (if you change your name).”

Here is an overview of the process.

1. Gather all the police reports, medical records, court records, protection orders and any other evidence corroborating the violence such as letters or emails from the perpetrator.
2. Contact an attorney to assist in completing a name change through Probate Court. Be sure to seek to have the records of the name change sealed.
3. After obtaining the name change order, then contact the Social Security Administration and initiate the process for the new Social Secuirty number.
4. You will need to submit the supporting documentation outlined in number 1 above along with your birth certificate and proof of citizenship or immigration status. If obtaining the documentation is unsafe for you, the Administration will assist.
5. The timeframe to obtain the new number varies from two months to longer. Be patient.
6. After obtaining your new Social Security card and name change order, you can request a new birth certificate in your new name.
7. With these documents, you can obtain a new driver’s license, passport, etc.

All documents must be the originals or certified copies by the issuing agency. If you are requesting new Social Security numbers for children of whom you have custody, you will need to present the original documents establishing custody along with proof of their identity and Social Security numbers. Even individuals with poor credit and some criminal records have been succesful in this process. Each year about 1,000 domestic violence victims go through this process to obtain a new identity in an attempt to escape from their abusers. Of course, there are many implications to consider before undertaking this drastic course of action.

To go to the Social Security website click here or call 1-800-325-0778 for more information.

I will discuss more about this topic in my blog article next week.

The Family Relations Department entered into a Memorandum of Understanding Program Description wherein it describes it will provide the following services:

• Guardian Ad Litem Services
• Parenting Time Facilitation
• Parenting Time Investigations
• Home Study Investigations
• Other.

An Interview with Sandra Fredrick, Manager of the Family Relations Department of the Domestic Relations Court of Montgomery County, Ohio, took place on Monday, June 30, 2008, with the specific intent to answer the question posited above.

Ms. Fredrick advised me that she had been with the Court since 1978, this being her thirtieth (30th) year with the Court. She explained to me that it was during Judge Charles Lowman’s term with the Court that he caused the Guardian Ad Litem program to be initiated to assist the Court with issues of custody, visitation, and other disputed child-related issues, especially for persons who did not have the money to pay for a psychological evaluation of the parties.

While the cost of a private psychological evaluation of the parties and significant others could easily exceed the sum of $2500.00, the maximum cost for the Family Relations Department to conduct an evaluation of the parties, to include a home study, is the sum of only $250.00.

As the appointed Guardian Ad Litem (“GAL”) for the family, the counselor assigned to the case is charged with meeting with the following persons:

• Each parent in the case and subsequently, with the minor children in the case.
• Any new step-parents or significant others (Current girl-friends and/or boy friends).
• Any other family members or neighbors/teachers who may have information about the children in the pending matter.

The Guardian Ad Litem is also authorized to obtain information from the following sources:

• The schools attended by the minor children to determine if there are problems with attendance, behavior, or academics while at school.
• Childrens’ Services (especially if there are allegations of abuse/neglect).
• Physicians and/or Psychologists/Psychiatrists who may have rendered treatment to one or both of the parties or to the children of the parties. There is a need to determine if either party or if any of the children are affected by learning disabilities or mental health issues/problems.
• Probation officers (if either party has been or is on probation).
• Police Departments (especially if there are records of Domestic Violence and/or a history of #911 calls being made from the home).
• Criminal Justice Information System (“CJIS”) which has been in place since 1995.

Ms. Fredrick advised me that the members of her staff are either Licensed Social Workers (“LSW”) or Licensed Professional Counselors (“LPC”). The Domestic Relations Court pays for her staff to receive Guardian Ad Litem training and Mediation training so that she and her staff are current with educational skills.

The normal hours for this Department of the Court are from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. on weekdays from Monday through Friday. The Department did try to have evening hours to accommodate working clients, but the plan was not workable due to security reasons. The Court only has available security from the hours of 8:30 a.m. until 4:30 p.m. each weekday.

Ms. Fredrick also advised me that as of July 1, 2008, the Court will require mandatory mediation of Pre-Decree disputed issues. Magistrate Cozette Snead shall be in charge of this mediation program. In the meantime, the counselors of the Family Relations Department shall be available to continue with Post-Decree Mediation of disputed domestic relations matters.

It may be a bit surprising to some that parents are very important to their children. One would think that in a materialistic culture, kids would feel happier with the latest iPhone and video games. However, young adults in the age range of 13-24 report that spending time with their family is the most important factor leading to their happiness. Seventy-five percent of young adults say their relationship with their parents makes them happy.

For these young people, the things that make them happy are the same things that make most of us happy: social relationships. Having meaningful, honest and rewarding relationships with family and friends are more important than anything else.

We may enjoy things, but we find meaning and happiness in being around people who really matter to us.

The research on couples with children is a bit more perplexing. Brooks reports that after such variables as age, income, gender, race and politics are considered, a “parent would be about seven percentage points less likely to report being very happy” than a childless couple.

Perhaps these results are really not so surprising. Raising children is often difficult and stressful. There is so much worry and work involved with parenting kids of any age. Children need our time, energy, money and resources. Most of all, they need our attention. With so much focus on our kids, what time is left for parents to pursue their dreams and desires? What about our relationship with our spouse? Most parents are more concerned with just getting through the day rather than reflecting upon the meaning of their lives.

If childless couples are happier than parents, then why do people continue to have children?

In western European countries such as Spain and Italy, the birth rate has decreased substantially. However, in most other countries including the United States, couples continue to feel that children are an important part of their lives.

Perhaps couples have children for bad reasons. Some people feel that children may help improve a bad marriage. Others may look to children to satisfy some void in their lives. I suspect that most people have kids because that is just what most married couples do. Having children is less of a thoughtful decision and more of an automatic cultural response.

Raising children is certainly not a guarantee of happiness, but it does give a sense of meaning to the lives of most people.

There is no relationship that can ever replace the unconditional love between a parent and child. While friends can be fleeting, there is nothing my children can ever do that would cause me to give up on them. We are connected forever. That love gives my life meaning beyond the delights and drudgery of my everyday life.

This doesn’t mean that only couples with children can lead meaningful lives. Perhaps the real significance of this research is that children both contribute to and detract from living a happy existence. The key is to be sure that couples have children for the right reasons, and fully appreciate both the risks and rewards of raising kids. Children just seem to make life a bit more extreme. The bad times are certainly very tough, but rewards are also intensely satisfying.

I know there are times that I may not be as happy as people with more money, more freedom and less worry. Perhaps I’ve blocked out some of the very difficult times I’ve had with my kids, but nothing even comes close to the intense rewards I’ve received as a dad to three very special people!

[Reprinted by permission from the Aug. 31 edition of the Dayton Daily News, "Kids bring happiness, right? Not always", Family Wise, Gregory Ramey, PH.D.]

Guess what? After September 27, 2008, the ONLY manner such a survivor benefit election can be accomplished is by submitting to DFAS a completed DD 2656-10 form along with a copy of the decree. If the old approach is utilized, the election will NOT be valid. Click here to see a memo from the Under Secretary of Defense dated May 30. 2008, indicating the change.

The time perimeters have not changed. If the member/retiree requests the coverage, the deadline is one year from the date of the divorce. If the former spouse requests the coverage, she must send in this DD 2656-10 form within one year of the filing of the court order terminating the marriage.

Our law firm handles many military divorces, in part because we are located near Wright Patterson Air Force Base in Dayton. Unfortunately, it seems that these significant changes have not been publicized widely. Failing to implement this new procedure after September 27, 2008 will undoubtedly result in an invalid election and problems for counsel who had represented the former spouse of the member of the military.

Please note there is a similar notice but a different form for Reserve Personnel. This form can be found by clicking here.

Click here to link to the new DD 2656-10 form.