The third Sunday of June has become known as Father’s Day just as the second Sunday of May has become known as Mother’s Day. On that “special” day in June, Fathers in the United States are feted with cards, gifts (often ties and wallets), meals especially prepared for them or “dinner out” at their favorite restaurants, as well other special treats such as the preparation of a favorite dish or dessert prepared at home.

From my readings at various websites, the origin of Father’s Day is not entirely clear.  Some say it began with a church service to honor Fathers in Fairmont, West Virginia, on July 5, 1908.  Others believe that Ms. Sonora Smart Dodd of Spokane, Washington, came up with the idea or plan to honor Fathers in 1909 while she listened to an earlier church service wherein Mothers were honored and praised.  Ms. Dodd’s Father, a veteran of the Civil War and a “single parent”, had successfully raised six (6) children following the premature death of his Wife.

Although the movement to honor Fathers began over one hundred (100) years ago, it took many years for this country to make this occasion an official holiday.  While citizens supported the concept of Mother’s Day with pride and enthusiasm, the idea of Father’s Day was at first met with laughter and satire. While President Woodrow Wilson “approved” the concept of an annual Father’s Day in 1916, it was not until 1924 when President Calvin Coolidge declared the day to be a national event.  Thereafter, Father’s Day was celebrated but was not made a federal holiday until 1966 when President Lyndon B. Johnson issued a proclamation declaring it to be so.  Later, in 1972, President Richard Nixon established Father’s Day as a permanent holiday to be celebrated on the third Sunday of June of each year.

The allocation of parenting time for Father’s Day is treated somewhat differently by each individual Domestic Relations Court throughout the state.  It is important to note that even though all Domestic Relations Courts are governed by the same statutes or laws (Ohio Revised Code: Title 31), each County may devise its own Local Rules including a Standard Order of Parenting Time.

To illustrate, if the Family Court of Montgomery County has jurisdiction of your case and the Standard Order of Parenting time has been ordered, the Father is entitled to parenting time on Father’s Day, no matter the parenting time schedule for said weekend, from 9:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. Fathers receive more time if parenting time is pursuant to the Standard Order of the Family Court of Greene County, Ohio.  There the Father is entitled to have parenting time from Saturday at 6:00 p.m. until Sunday at 6:00 p.m.

In Miami County, the Standard Order of Parenting Time Schedule states: “Father’s Day shall always be spent with the Father, regardless of which parent is entitled to the weekend.  If the parties cannot agree on times, the time shall be from 10:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. that evening.”  The Standard Parenting Schedule of Warren County, Ohio, provides for Father to have parenting time with the minor child or children from 9:00 a.m. until 7:00 p.m.

The Domestic Relations Court of Clark County, Ohio, has a one-page Standard Order of Visitation and neither Mother’s Day nor Father’s Day is addressed.  Nonetheless, I was advised by a spokesperson of the Court that the Magistrates will often address Mother’s Day and Father’s Day in the Entries and Orders they prepare.  Finally, the Preble County Domestic Relations Court Guidelines for Parenting Time of Non-Residential Parents do address Father’s Day as follows: On Father’s Day, no matter whose turn for visitation, the child(ren) shall be with Father from 1:00 p.m. until 8:00 p.m.

Whatever the exact schedule for Father’s Day, our law firm would strongly recommend that both parents urge and encourage parenting time between the child(ren) and Mother on Mother’s Day and between the child(ren) and Father on Father’s Day as it is so vitally important for children to spend time with each parent on his/her “special” holiday!

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I came across an interesting survey last month in the Gordon Poll Youth Survey published by the Wilmington Institute Network. Dr. Robert Gordon is the founder and director of the Wilmington Institute of Trial and Settlement Sciences. He is a past president of the Texas Psychological Association and is author of “On the Witness Stand.” He is both a clinical psychologist and a lawyer. The work of Dr. Gordon and the institute team has been featured on the MacNeil-Lehrer News Hour, ABC, Nightline, CNN, Fox News, Larry King Live, Good Morning America and USA Today.

The Gordon Poll Youth Survey focuses on family life issues. It is conducted for the benefit of parents, educators and members of the legal and mental health professions. The May 2009 survey was compiled from a sample size of 1,000 children between ages 14-18, and they are from a self-selected national sample that includes all 50 states.

Here are a few selected comments from participants who indicated that each parent should pay the same:

“Yes, one parent may earn more, or one may not have custody, but both parents are equally, biologically responsible for their child. Just because someone earns more doesn’t make it their job to pay more.”

Here are some selected comments from participants who indicated that the parent who earns more should pay more:

Here are selected comments from participants who indicated that the parent who doesn’t live with the kid should pay more:

And, these selected comments are from participants who indicated that the parent who wanted the divorce should pay more:

Click here to read more comments from the survey participants. I will be bringing you more USA Youth Survey results in the future!

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The Ohio Supreme Court instituted new rules on March 1, 2009, regarding the role and responsibilities of a Guardian ad Litem (GAL).  Ohio Rule of Superintendence 48 codifies these rules.  As background, a GAL is a person appointed by the court in both domestic relations and juvenile cases to protect the best interest of the child.  The GAL typically issues a Report to the court detailing the investigation and setting forth a recommendation.  It is not uncommon for a GAL to be involved in most juvenile cases and in many domestic relations cases involving minor children.  Prior to Rule 48 there were no uniform GAL rules in Ohio, but many courts have had their own rules; and in addition, lawyers serving as GAL’s were bound by the Ohio Rules of Professional Conduct.

The new Rule does several things.  But the most important may be establishing certain training requirements and defining the responsibilities of the GAL in his or her investigation.  Finally, the Rule sets forth what must be included in the GAL’s Report.

The first major element in the rules is that it sets forth specific training requirements.  Previously, in some Courts there were virtually no training requirements. In other Courts a person was mandated to attend a training seminar before becoming a GAL.  In Montgomery County, for instance, an attorney had to take a general Juvenile Law Certification Seminar first, which was six hours of education.  Beyond that, a person had to undergo a two-day, twelve-hour seminar discussing numerous topics in order to become a GAL.  Those training programs in Montgomery County were excellent, in my opinion, having attended them in 2008. However, other Courts would allow attorneys to serve as a GAL with no additional training at all!

Under the new Rule, an attorney must complete, at a minimum, a six-hour course that has been approved by the Ohio Supreme Court.  This course must include training on child development, various communication skills, child abuse prevention, general family and child issues such as drug abuse and domestic violence, and a legal framework for conducting records checks and utilizing resources.  In addition, an attorney who has met these requirements and is already serving as a GAL must complete a three-hour course annually to stay updated.  The various courts are responsible for monitoring and making sure all attorneys remain in compliance.

The next major component of the rule is that it sets forth the responsibilities of a GAL.  These are the minimum requirements a GAL must do in each case unless it is “impractical or inadvisable.”  The list includes seventeen different things.  First and foremost is that the GAL is to represent the “best interests” of the child.  This includes being independent, objective and fair, as well as being courteous in all the proceedings.  It goes without saying that a GAL needs to appear and participate in all hearings where the child’s interest is at stake.  If the GAL is an attorney,  they should file pleadings when appropriate.

If the person is both attorney and GAL for the child, it is his or her responsibility to advocate for both the child’s wishes and for the best interest of the child.  If there is a conflict between these two positions, the GAL must notify the court, in writing, as soon as possible in order to have the conflict resolved.  The GAL must avoid any other conflicts of interest; and if one arises, must notify the Court promptly.  He or she must immediately indicate that they are serving as a GAL when contacting individuals for the case.

Finally, the GAL must take steps to become familiar with all aspects of the case; including the child, family members, and other individuals in their lives.  In order to do this a GAL must meet and observe the children with both of the parents, or prospective guardians, as well as conduct an interview with the child outside the presence of the parents.  Additionally, a GAL must meet and interview the parties and other significant individuals who have knowledge of the case.  A home study must be conducted of any homes where the child might live.  Depending upon the age of the child, the GAL must determine the child’s wishes.  The investigation must include a review of the case records and any criminal, civil, educational, therapy or counseling records and administrative records pertaining to the child or the child’s family.  The GAL must interview school personnel, medical providers, and child protection workers and obtain copies of any applicable records.  If there is a need for additional psychological testing or substance abuse testing, the GAL should recommend that the court orders additional testing.  Finally, the GAL must do anything else necessary to make a recommendation based on a thorough investigation and what is in the best interest of the child.

The GAL conveys his or her recommendations and the findings of the investigation in a written report that is submitted to the court.  The rule establishes certain requirements in compiling a report.  The report is required to list who was interviewed, what documents were reviewed, what activities were performed, and any relevant information considered by the GAL in making his or her recommendation.  The report is to be filed seven days in advance of any hearing.

The report of a GAL is a very important part of the court proceedings.  I am pleased to see this statewide effort to mandate complete and thorough GAL investigations.  In the past, unfortunately, some court-appointed GALs put minimal effort into their investigations resulting in poor reports.  A person can lose custody of a child predicated upon a GAL’s recommendation.  Undertaking this role is a tremendous responsibility which affects many lives.  Our justice system demands caring, compassionate and highly trained GALs who review all facts of the case before making any recommendation.

To read Superintendence Rule 48, please click here.

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In the second of a two-part series, attorney Robert Mues discusses the impact that a divorce may have on juggling a child’s activities and parenting time.

A recurring battle that I see in my family law practice is how to juggle a child’s extracurricular activities after a divorce.  There is no black and white answer, of course, to this question.  In many cases where there is shared parenting or both mother and father continue to communicate with each other and place the child’s best interest in perspective, both parents will attend the child’s after-school activities and will seamlessly foster the child’s continued participation in the activities no matter which home the child may be residing in.  However, in a large number of post-divorce situations, especially in high conflict cases or where the parties do not live in close proximity with one another, continuation of extracurricular activities can present a major problem.

Oftentimes, I hear a non-custodial parent complaining that the custodial parent has enrolled the child in numerous extracurricular activities which prevent or impede the non-custodial parent from having any meaningful one-on-one parenting time with the child.  Many courts throughout Ohio and other states have adopted a provision in their Standard Order of Visitation to address that issue.  In Montgomery County, the Standard Order states, “Regardless of where the children are living, their continued participation in extracurricular activities, school related or otherwise, should not be interrupted.  It shall be the responsibility of the parent with whom the children are residing at the time to discuss the scheduling of such activities with the children and to provide transportation to the activities.  Each parent shall provide the other parent with notice of all extracurricular activities, complete with schedules and the name, address and telephone number of the activity leader, if available.”

Under Ohio law, the Court is charged to allocate the parental rights and responsibilities of the parties’ minor children as are in their best interest.  There are a myriad of factors that the Court is required to consider to determine the child’s “best interest.”  Click here to read all of those factors.

The Second District Court of Appeals for Montgomery County, Ohio, issued an interesting opinion in the case of Daufel v. Bardsley in August 2008.  Both parents had filed contempt motions against the other, in part, dealing with conflict over extracurricular activities of their two minor children, ages 8 and 6.  The Decree of Divorce provided that father was to have parenting time for six weeks each summer, but it must be exercised according to the Standard Order of Parenting Time.  Mother had arranged a complex set of activities for the two children during the summer and wanted father to agree to have the children attend mother’s daycare in Dayton during the summer so that the children would be able to attend their extracurricular activities uninterrupted.  Instead, father who lived in Wilmington, Ohio, about 30 miles away from mother, wanted to have the children with him in a daycare setting in Wilmington as he had done in prior summers.  In analyzing the situation, the magistrate found that, “’[g]iven the numerous extracurricular activities the children are involved in and the distance between Roger’s [father’s] daycare provider (in Wilmington) and these activities, it is physically impossible for the children to attend all extracurricular activities.” Accordingly, the magistrate decided (1) that “[w]hen the children visit with Roger [father] during the summer, he shall be responsible for providing daycare,” and (2) that “[i]f the children are placed in daycare in Wilmington, Ohio where Roger works, they do not have to attend the extracurricular activities in Montgomery County [where mother lives].’”

This part of the Court Order was ultimately appealed to the Second District Court of Appeals which upheld the Magistrate and the trial court’s decision.  The Court of Appeals held that the issues of attendance at extracurricular activities are “. . . issues which are within the sound discretion of the trial court to determine.”  Further, they held that the goals of the provision of the Standard Order of Parenting Time, cited above, to be aspirational, not mandatory.  The Court then went ahead to uphold the Court’s modification of the provision of its Standard Order of Parenting Time.

The holding of the Court of Appeals in this case makes it clear that litigants should not lose sight of what is in the best interest of their children by believing that provisions of a Court’s Standard Order are “black and white” and not subject to modification.  Here, the trial court, in my opinion, correctly determined what was in the children’s best interest by balancing the children’s attendance and participation in extracurricular activities with the need for the children to be able to fully exercise summer parenting time with their father.

The magistrate observed in Daufel that it is unfortunate that these children have parents that “engage in a contentious battle of post-decree motions and do not place at the forefront what is in the best interest of these young children.”  The Court of Appeals went on to endorse that view and urged the parties to conform their future conduct to serve the needs of their children rather than their antagonism against each other.  Click here to read a full copy of the Court of Appeals opinion in Daufel v. Bardsley.

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This is the first of a two-part series dealing with children’s extracurricular activities. Next week, I will address the impact the divorce may take on a child’s extracurricular activity schedule when the parents have conflicts with each other.

There is no doubt that extracurricular activities can be very beneficial to a child. According to a recent study by the Nellie Mae Education Foundation, children who participate in after-school programs are more engaged and have a better attitude about learning, perform better academically and enjoy an increased sense of accomplishment, competence and self-esteem. Additionally, participation also lowers children’s risk of becoming depressed, using drugs and alcohol, and experiencing other behavioral problems.

Recently, while researching this topic, I came across an excellent article about how to choose after-school activity(ies) for children at www.scholastic.com. It also gives a breakdown discussing appropriate types and numbers of activities per week which are recommended based on the age and maturity of the child starting with kindergarten through middle school. The article offers advice which will help a parent determine if it is time for their child to start an extracurricular activity, what’s the best option and how to find a good program.

Recently, Gregory Ramey, Ph.D., a child psychologist at Dayton Children’s Hospital and Dayton Daily News columnist, addressed a similar inquiry from a reader wondering if a child can be too involved with an extracurricular activity. Here the reader was asking about their 15 year old daughter, Maddie, who’s been involved in gymnastics since she was three years old and practices about 16 hours during the weekdays and competes on weekends year round. In response to that background, Dr. Ramey gives advice on how you can tell if your child’s dedication is beneficial or excessive.

1. Be mindful of the effects on the entire family. While it’s great that kids are passionate about something, you need to carefully assess the impact on others, particularly siblings. Family life involves endless compromises in trying to balance the needs of adults and kids. In families with a high achieving teen, other siblings may inadvertently pay a high cost. The support of one child shouldn’t come at the cost of other family members.
2. Keep the activity in perspective. While we don’t want to discourage kids from their passions, they do need a reality check about the significance of their activity for their future educational and vocational aspirations. Maddie’s mom has made it clear to her daughter that “school is number one.”
3. Be willing to walk away from the activity. There have been times when Maddie has encountered tough times and wanted to end gymnastics. How would her mom and dad have responded if she wanted to stop gymnastics? “My parents are really into it…they wouldn’t be too happy.” Disappointment and frustration are inherent in the passionate pursuit of excellence. There are times when you should offer encouragement and not allow your child to give up when confronting difficulties. However, you should anticipate and be willing to accept the reality that there may be a time when your child abandons their passion for other pursuits.
4. Regularly assess the real value of the activity. Most of our kids will never grow up to be professional baseball players or gymnasts. The value of their commitment is less in the acquisition of athletic skills and more in habits and friendships that persist long after the activity has ended. Maddie’s mom described the peer support that Maddie gets daily in the gym as “…the kind of friendships you don’t often get in life.” Maddie has also learned about discipline, persistence, and time management – habits that will serve her well throughout her lifetime.

Dr. Ramey concluded that, “The child may never back flip her way to the Olympics, but I suspect she will be a successful person in whatever she does.” Click here to read Dr. Ramey’s full article.

One of the points clearly made in the scholastic.com article mentioned above is that it’s important to watch your child for signs of over-scheduling. “In younger children, this most often takes the form of irritability, avoiding eye contact and tantrums. In older children, look out for mood swings, recurrent sickness, such as stomach aches, and complaints about the activities themselves. At any age, if the school work begins to suffer, it’s time to cut back.” Click here to read the full article, by Toby Leah Bochan, at scholastic.com.

While balancing children’s extracurricular activities can be difficult in a conventional intact family, read next week’s blog article where I discuss the impact that a divorce may have on juggling a child’s activities and parenting time.

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