Communications With Your Spouse During A Divorce Need Not Be Stressful Or Difficult
Divorces can be very difficult and stressful. Emotions can often run rampant. Those may include anger, blame, hurt feelings, confusion, sadness, and depression. Trying to maintain civil communications between you and your spouse is important. No black or white approach works in every case. You know the factual background which caused the marriage to breakdown. You know if your spouse has been abusive or can be a bully or meanspirited. Hopefully, these tips will be useful in establishing appropriate communications.
In many cases the parties elect to have their lawyers shoulder the majority of the communications. Nonetheless, some level of communications will likely need to occur, especially if you have children.
- Be Civil and Respectful: Avoid arguments and be professional. As difficult as it may be, “bite your tongue” and don’t escalate issues. Truthfully, whether you are right or wrong on a point isn’t that important in the long run.
- Set Boundaries: As you transition from being married to divorced, try to establish boundaries to agree upon the way the 2 of you will primarily communicate and about what topics.
- Consider Email Communications: Email is a frequent tool that many couples use to communicate with each other during divorce proceedings. Try to keep those communications straightforward and avoid escalating tensions. If a matter starts escalating, end the email discussion and consider asking your lawyer how to best deal with the issue. Client’s will routinely seek my input before sending a spouse an email response.
- Don’t Rehash the Past: Parties often will bring up old arguments or past issues. This will likely be counterproductive and generate negative emotions. Avoid doing this and focus on present issues.
- Don’t Send Mixed Signals: Be consistent in the way you communicate and avoid sending your spouse any communications that could give him/her the wrong impression about your feelings. You want everything to proceed as smoothly as possible!
- Consider Mediation: Courts offer free mediation services. The services can be very effective as an alternative dispute resolution process in divorce matters. Click here to read “The Mediation Process in Montgomery Domestic Relations Court” blog article I wrote back in 2011.
Avoid Stress With Your Ex And Your Wallet!
Establishing effective communications with your soon to be ex, is really important! Doing so will avoid stress and further anguish. The side benefits will be that your case is likely to settle quicker and your attorney fees will be lower!
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Robert L. Mues
Attorney Robert "Chip" Mues has been focusing his legal practice throughout Southwest Ohio primarily in divorce and family law matters since 1978. Chip is passionate about family law and has proudly published the Ohio Family Law Blog since 2007. In addition, he is the managing partner of Holzfaster, Cecil, McKnight & Mues. To learn more about him or the law firm, visit the firm's website at www.hcmmlaw.com. Appointments are available in person, over the phone or by Zoom. Call us at 937 293-2141.