By Robert L. Mues   |   April 3rd, 2021

A Divorce Coach Can Help Both Pre-Divorce, During The Divorce, And Afterwards

Divorce Coach Vs. Traditional Therapists, Which One Is Right For You?

divorce coach processI have been a strong supporter my entire career of encouraging clients to obtain counseling as they go through the divorce process. Over the years, I have worked with various psychiatrists, psychologists, psychotherapists, counselors and therapists.  I like the positives that these professionals bring to the case and it is usually quite beneficial collaborating with a multi-disciplinary team. As their divorce lawyer, I will guide them through the maze of legal issues and “traps” as they journey through the divorce process. Depending upon the case, I will admit that the “emotional side” requires a different type of support.  Recently, I have worked with several Client’s who have had “divorce coaches” assist them instead of receiving help from traditional therapists. In light of this available option, I thought I would share more about “divorce coaching”.

WHAT IS A DIVORCE COACH?

According to the American Bar Association, Divorce coaching is a “flexible, goal-oriented process designed to support, motivate, and guide people going through divorce to help them make the best possible decisions for their future, based on their particular interests, needs, and concerns. Divorce coaches have different professional backgrounds and are selected based on the specific needs of the clients.  For example, some divorce coaches are financial planners, mental health professionals, lawyers, or mediators who have experience dealing with divorcing clients”.

WHAT ROLE DO DIVORCE COACHES PLAY?

Divorce coaches can assist the client in a multitude of ways, both pre-divorce, during the divorce, and afterwards. I want to assist my clients to work on a plan that makes sense to them and keeps them moving towards their end goal – be it improving the marriage or ending the marriage. I have seen over the years that too many clients end up becoming “paralyzed” and unable to move forward after the divorce for way too long. Counseling, therapy and coaching can help eliminate that problem!

PRE-DIVORCE ASSISTANCE OFFERED BY DIVORCE COACHES

  1. Providing Resources and various educational materials;
  2. Helping the Client organize his/her thoughts as well as goals and objectives;
  3. Assisting with a marriage assessment to help evaluate the direction to work on the marriage, separate or divorce; and
  4. Help the client prepare for the journey ahead.

HELP DURING THE DIVORCE PROCESS OFFERED BY DIVORCE COACHES

This can be a VERY long list depending on the nature of the case and the client’s needs. Here are some examples:

  1. Providing the client support and guidance;
  2. Helping to work through emotional issues;
  3. Helping to establish reasonable goals; and
  4. Helping organize the myriad of documents and materials needed throughout the case.

POST-DIVORCE ASSISTANCE

  1. Help establishing future goals and create a plan to reach them;
  2. Provide periodic sessions to be sure the client is making good progress towards his/her goals; and
  3. Continue to be a “support” person for the client.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A THERAPIST AND A DIVORCE COACH?

Of course, one difference is their education and training. One size does not fit all. Some clients may prefer a licensed therapist/psychologist. For others, a divorce coach  may be the perfect answer. I asked divorce coach Dr. Karen Finn this question about the difference in their respective approaches.

Here is what she said, “Imagine you’re standing on a street corner with all of your bags and boxes of stuff all around you. A therapist will come up to you and say, “WOW! I can tell you want to move on from where you are. Let’s take a look inside of your bags and boxes and lighten your load so you can get on your way.” I’d come up to you and say something like, “WOW! I can tell you’re ready to get moving. Where is it that you’re headed? Would you be willing to take a babystep in that direction? As a life coach, I focus on the specific actions you can take to get on your way’.

If I have caught your attention, next week divorce coach Dr. Karen Finn will share some of her ideas about how to look back after a divorce and say “My Life Got Better After Divorce”. Stay tuned…

If you don’t want to wait until next Saturday, and want to learn more about divorce coach Karen Finn, you can click here to go to her website.

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If you are experiencing marital difficulties and wish to discuss them, please give us a call at 937 293-2141. Our experienced Dayton Ohio divorce lawyers at Holzfaster, Cecil, McKnight & Mues are offering consultations in person, via ZOOM or over the phone.

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Robert L. MuesAbout The Author: Robert L. Mues
Attorney Robert "Chip" Mues has been focusing his legal practice throughout Southwest Ohio primarily in divorce and family law matters since 1978. Chip is passionate about family law and has proudly published the Ohio Family Law Blog since 2007. In addition, he is the managing partner of Holzfaster, Cecil, McKnight & Mues. To learn more about him or the law firm, visit the firm's website at www.hcmmlaw.com. Appointments are available in person, over the phone or by Zoom. Call us at 937 293-2141.

Thinking About a Divorce? Have You Considered a Divorce Coach?
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