Parenting with an Uncooperative Ex: A Divorce Lawyer’s Perspective
Parenting Tips for dealing with an Uncooperative Ex Spouse!
This topic is an exceedingly broad one, but I will try to share my insights from my perspective as a practicing family law attorney for the past 34 years. The original idea to write this article was that of Connecticut psychotherapist, Donna Ferber. I thought it was a great idea of hers to tackle this subject; from both a therapist’s perspective and a lawyer’s perspective. Here is the link to Donna’s perceptive take about parenting with an uncooperative parent in her blog article, The Uncooperative Co-Parent, posted on her blog February 18, 2012. In addition, she gave me permission to repost her article in this blog on February 29, 2012.
When the parties have children, while it might be desirable, it’s impossible to apply a “no contact rule” and completely disassociate themselves from their uncooperative ex spouse. The parties have to come to some sort of arrangement when they have children and when there is parenting time with their ex-spouse. Ideally, in parenting, parents should develop a direct channel of communication with each other and not use their children as messengers. … Read More... “Parenting with an Uncooperative Ex”
It was truly a memorable Christmas. In the past we have usually managed to get the “family” together in Dayton, Ohio. But this year I locked the door of my law office; and my wife and I flew to Dallas to be with our son, daughter-in-law and our first grandchild – Hannah. We were fortunate enough to have been able to travel from Dayton, Ohio, to Texas to be in the hospital when Hannah was born five (5) months or so ago, but we haven’t visited in person since.
Over the years Gregory Ramey, Ph.D., who is a local child psychologist and vice president for outpatient services at the Children’s Medical Center of Dayton, has allowed us to republish many of his “Family Wise” articles from the Dayton Daily News. He included an interesting question and answer in his column published in the Dayton Daily News on Sunday, August 28, 2011, that caught my attention. Here is the question and Dr. Ramey’s answer:
Once upon a time in Ohio the answer was “yes”. But not any longer. There is much misinformation on the internet about this subject. So, I thought that a review of the child custody laws over the years might be both helpful and interesting. There has been movement away over the years from allowing a child to choose in a divorce which parent to live with. These past “age of election” laws were seen as placing too much pressure on children.
Tucked deep into the recently passed state budget is a new provision that will reduce driver’s license suspensions of alleged “deadbeat” parents. Currently, a parent owing more than a month in child support faces the possibility of the loss of his or her driver’s license and professional licenses. Under current law, neither the courts nor the Child Support Enforcement Agency can grant limited driving privileges for occupational purposes on a child support license suspension.
It is wise to keep an “In Case of Emergency” (ICE) information card in our wallets, purses, and car glove box at all times. An emergency can happen at any time. The leading cause of death for people under the age of 44 in America is emergency trauma. Emergency contact cards can prevent a bad situation from getting worse. An unexpected emergency can shatter the lives of any family at any time. But, by having emergency contact cards, you and your loved ones will be more prepared if a sudden crisis strikes. Give yourself a greatly improved chance to receive appropriate medical care by preparing information in advance that explains your medical needs immediately for first responders.
Alternative dispute resolution can be a wonderful tool in divorce cases. Montgomery County’s Domestic Relations Court, along with many other divorce Courts, have adopted mediation conferences as a voluntary or, in some cases, mandatory prerequisite to trial. I am focusing this article on how that process works in Montgomery County.