When Your Ex Opts Out -Talking to Your Children When Your Former Spouse Decides to Not Parent

optsout.jpgConsistently, one of my favorite blogs is Michael Mastracci’s Divorce Without Dishonor Blog. Mike is an excellent attorney from Baltimore, Maryland. His own difficult and acrimonious divorce and child custody battle led to his personal interest in collaborative family law.  Both attorneys and clients should include his blog on their frequent read list. Mike regularly espouses ethical, moral and philosophical standards that we should aspire to meet. I have personally and professionally been a proponent of child welfare issues for over 30 years. So, when I read his recent post about “When Your Ex Opts Out – Talking to Your Children When Your Former Parent Decides to Not Parent”, I had to ask Mike if I could have his permission to republish it. He kindly agreed. Here it is:

Although most divorcing couples deeply desire a relationship with their children after the marriage dissolves, there are exceptions to this rule. Sometimes, one of the newly divorced parents feels that their life would be easier or freer if not encumbered by their children.  They drop out of the picture for an unpredictable period of time, sometimes weeks or even years.  The custodial parent is left to explain their actions to

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The “Un-Advisability” of an “Un-Divorce” Arrangement

proconunmarr.jpgPsychotherapist and Guest Contributor Donna F. Ferber sent me an email a month or so ago encouraging me to read Suzi Parker’s article about famous couples who chose, rather than going through a divorce, to simply live separate lives. Click here to read Ms. Parker’s article about a trend some people call an “un-divorce.”

We both agreed to attempt to fairly evaluate the “pros and cons” of this option: she from a psychological perspective and me from a legal perspective. Initially, Donna was much more open to the possible merits of this arrangement than I was. She made it clear that she was most interested in hopefully reaching and empowering people who are in unhappy marriages and who feel trapped by fear, ignorance, and the lack of financial and emotional resources. Donna and I continued to exchange numerous emails over the last six weeks about this “un-divorce” arrangement, discussing the relative merits of couples remaining married but living separate lives. By reading the title of this article, I suspect you can tell that I am not impressed with the overall wisdom of such a relationship.  While it is certainly possible to construct various hypothetical situations when an “un-divorce” arrangement might … Read More... “The “Un-Advisability” of an “Un-Divorce” Arrangement”

Gift Ideas for the Newly Divorced! Some Tasteful and Well…Others Not So Much!

giftideas.jpgOver the past month or so, I have come across some interesting items related to post-divorce parties, celebrations and gifts.  In my opinion, some of them are respectable, others are pretty far out there, and a few are bizarre or just sort of crass. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.  Nonetheless, I will share some with our readers.

Perhaps this idea might appeal to the very “well-healed”.  How about celebrating your divorce with a memorable party in Tuscany, Italy? You bring your friends, and the vendor will take care of the rest. “We believe in love, and divorce is the very first moment your new life starts and opens to new love and happiness. Let us throw your divorce party in Tuscany with good food, wine, music and new ideas,” they say. Imagine you and your friends jetting off for a leisurely trip to Italy.  A glass of Chianti wine will be there to welcome you. Then you will start visiting vineyards, have cooking lessons and eat amazing food. You will be able to explore nearby cities such as Florence, Siena, and San Gimignano. Top it all off by having a fantastic party, with a “solemn” celebration of your … Read More... “Gift Ideas for the Newly Divorced! Some Tasteful and Well…Others Not So Much!”

Back To School So Soon?

backtoschool.jpgThe lazy, hazy days of summer will soon be gone, only to be replaced with the frenetic days of a new school year.  Despite the grumblings from your children about returning to school, most children are actually ready to resume the routine that school brings. The beginning of the school year is exciting. Your child will be happy to see friends and to meet their teachers, but it can also be a time of uncertainty and worry. They might be concerned about how they will do this year in school, if their friends are in their classes, or if they will like their teachers.  It can be especially difficult for those students attending a brand new school, or those who are transitioning from elementary to middle school, or middle to high school.

As parents, we want to be sure to help our children get off to a smooth start to the new school year. It can especially be a challenge if you are sharing custody with a former spouse or if you are the non-custodial parent.  For those of you who operate under a shared parenting plan and split parenting time, say every other week, or every two weeks, it … Read More... “Back To School So Soon?”

Location of Military Service Records and How to Obtain Them

nat_arc1.jpgOne of my all time favorite family law blogs is Updates in Michigan Family Law written by Attorney Jeanne M. Hannah. I read her posts every week even though thinking about Michigan gives me a twinge of pain as a “Buckeye”.  Nonetheless, her posts are always informative and excellent! She recently posted on a topic that I felt would be of interest to our readers, especially since our law office is only a few miles from Wright-Patterson Air Force Base. With Jeanne’s kind permission, I have republished her article below.

There are times when, in a family law case, it is important to have the military personnel records of a service member. Some records from personnel files are available and stored in various locations; some records are of a medial or mental health issue. Those are kept in other locations. Some of those may be unavailable.

Most veteran’s records are stored at the National Archives and Records Administration’s National Personnel Records Center, Military Personnel Records (NPRC-MPR). This includes records of veterans who are completely discharged (with no remaining reserve commitment), or who are retired or have died.  Starting in 1995, the service departments gradually began retaining their personnel records

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A Reprise of “The Red Ones Are The Best!”

4thj.jpgSome holidays warrant special attention.  Independence Day is certainly one of them.  Last year, I wrote an article for the occasion which I dedicated to my Aunt Marion.  In it, I shared some meaningful personal memories and experiences.  I have decided to repost it, but this year I want to dedicate it to a wonderful client I represented this past year through a very long and difficult divorce.  “Jane” is one of my all time favorite clients!  In part, due to her class, intelligence, grace and the exceptional humor she exhibited throughout the proceedings which hit her from “left field” and ended a 19 year marriage.  Together, we worked through each painful issue step by step to trial.  She and I connected . . .   So, why do I mention this?  Well, Jane became a reader of the Ohio Family Law Blog and grew up in Maine, like my Aunt Marion.  Jane read the 4th of July article I wrote and after her case was done, Jane made a generous donation of children’s books to both a local library and to Dayton Children’s Hospital in honor of my Aunt and as a “thank you”!  What a wonderful and exceptionally thoughtful … Read More... “A Reprise of “The Red Ones Are The Best!””

How Injury Claims Are Treated In Divorce Court

per_injcheck.jpgIn early April, I received a phone call from Attorney Brian Wilson, a principal in the Canton personal injury law firm of Nicodemo & Wilson.  He and I have teamed up on a few prior projects, and he has contributed to the Oho Family Law Blog in the past.  After catching up a bit on the joys of blogging and our respective lives, he asked if I might consider writing an article as a guest blogger on their Bull’s-Eye Blog about how personal injury settlements are treated by divorce courts.  Of course, I was only too happy to accommodate Brian.  His blog is superb and one that I read several times a week.  Check it out by clicking here.  The article I wrote was posted on May 3, 2010.  Thanks, Brian! Here it is starting with Brian’s introduction:

Occasionally, we have guest bloggers write on topics of interest that cross over into Ohio personal injury issues. Our guest blogger is Robert L. Mues, an outstanding Dayton, Ohio, family law attorney. I found his interesting and informative blog and website while searching the Net for…interesting and informative blogs and websites! His blog is a must read for folks dealing with Read More... “How Injury Claims Are Treated In Divorce Court”

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