A large body of research overwhelmingly suggests children do best when they have both a mother and a father involved in their lives. Specifically, children whose fathers participate in raising them do better in school, are less likely to get into trouble with the law, and are more likely to be better parents themselves. While more fathers are being awarded legal custody of their children, the statistics seem to indicate that the majority (between 75 and 85 percent) are awarded to mothers. Today, nearly 20 million children live in a home without a father (2002 U.S. Bureau of the Census). Recent Census Bureau child-custody statistics indicate that nearly 40% of non-custodial fathers have no access or visitation rights whatsoever with their children. A very troubling statistic, indeed! Of those that do have visitation rights, what percentage are actually seeing their children regularly? The statistics in the studies vary greatly. But it seems clear that frequently the amount of contact the children have with their fathers diminishes over time. A recent study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family finds that children born outside of marriage are less likely to be visited by their father when the mother is involved in … Read More... “Fathers are Indeed Important!”
How Schools Should Work with Non-Residential Parents
Of course, it goes without saying that it is in the best interests of children when both parents are actively involved in their lives. Typically, children who have both parents raising them are more successful in many areas, including their academics. Unfortunately, due to divorce and circumstances such as parents living in different cities or states, one parent is excluded from involvement in their child’s school life. Often it seems that the father is the parent who does not feel needed or welcome in their child’s school world. Fathers are many times unaware of school happenings such as teacher-parent conferences, report card dates, or special events at the school. Research supports that when the non-resident father is even marginally involved in their child’s school life, the student is more likely to participate in extra-curricular activities, receive better grades, and enjoy school more.
Working with Non-Resident Fathers – A Guide for Educators of Children , a pamphlet published by Separated Parenting Access and Resource Center (SPARC), a non-profit organization dedicated to promoting the best interest of children in custody and divorce proceedings, is an excellent resource for the parent who feels out of the loop when it comes to their child’s … Read More... “How Schools Should Work with Non-Residential Parents”
Stress of War Shatters More Marriages
The Pentagon reported the divorce rate among military members increased again in the past year and is now a full percentage point higher than it was around the time of the September 11, 2001, attacks. According to their figures, the divorce rate of about 3.6 percent for fiscal year 2009 increased from the reported 2001 rate of 2.6 percent. Women in uniform continued to have a much higher divorce rate than their male counterparts – 7.7% in 2009 compared with only 3% for men. Air Force Maj. April Cunningham, a Defense Department spokeswoman, said the latest year-to-year change was relatively small because the services have made available programs focused on strengthening and enriching family bonds among couples. “We believe these programs are instrumental in mitigating the stresses deployment places on marriages,” said Cunningham.
The actual data for the Afghanistan study indicated that the Army is trying to increase the number of mental health providers for the 68,000 US troops having problems such as acute stress, depression, and anxiety from the current number of 43 to roughly 103. Seemingly, a very low number of counselors in my opinion!
“Every marriage has controllable and uncontrollable factors,” said Joe Davis, spokesman for the … Read More... “Stress of War Shatters More Marriages”
Looking to Build a Stronger Relationship?
Unlike many family law blogs which just share divorce information, we take a much broader view of “family law” and try to provide positive helpful information to readers about ways to help keep marriages together. Clearly, marriage is an important public and social good, associated with a broad array of positive outcomes for adults, children, and the community as a whole. Divorce proceedings should never be initiated lightly! All relationships have “ups and downs” that can sometimes be very difficult to navigate.
Marriage Works! Ohio offers an extensive range of programs and services throughout Shelby, Miami, Montgomery, Greene, Butler and Warren counties. This collaborative effort of faith-based and community organizations, including Elizabeth’s New Life Center, has been operating for 3 years. Recently, it was recognized by the Department of Health and Human Services as one of the 8 most promising programs for marriage education in the country! Their mission is to demonstrate ways to increase knowledge of basic relationship skills, communication skills, commitment to the relationship, and positive conflict resolution among adults and teenagers. Most of their classes are free of charge. Classes are small, usually with only 10 to 20 couples. Workshops and classes range in length from only … Read More... “Looking to Build a Stronger Relationship?”
Your Thanksgiving Doesn’t have to be a Turkey!
Karen Armstrong, a human development extension agent with North Dakota State University, posted an excellent Thanksgiving piece two years ago. Her suggestions and insights bear repeating. Plus, I liked her Thanksgiving Quiz! She was kind enough to allow me to republish it.
The holiday season can be stressful enough on its own. Families who have changed the make up of their household because of divorce or marriage since last year have some new challenges. If this describes your family, watch your children for signs of stress this season. Often times the shopping and decorating is too much for them. Encourage your children to talk about what they are feeling and keep those lines of communication open so they can approach you when they need to.
Because of the holidays, you may feel that you and your children are supposed to be happy, but allow time to deal with the adjustments. For example, it’s normal and healthy for children to miss the other parent; acknowledge their feelings and let them know it’s okay.
Financial strains become a reality to most families during this time. Communicate with your children’s other parent about the gifts that will be purchased. Consider agreeing on a … Read More... “Your Thanksgiving Doesn’t have to be a Turkey!”
Upcoming Parenting Seminar Featuring Dr. Gregory Ramey, Ph.D.
Dr. Gregory Ramey, a child psychologist at Dayton Children’s Hospital and author of the Family Wise Column in the Dayton Daily News, as well as a guest contributor to the Ohio Family Law Blog, will be presenting a parenting seminar at 6:30 p.m., December 3, 2009, at Dayton Children’s Outpatient Care Center in Springboro. Don’t miss it! Dr. Ramey will discuss “Kids and their Technological Worlds” and will provide recent research on internet usage, cell phones, and television, and some concrete implications for today’s parents. Seating is limited and a RSVP is required. To reserve a seat, contact Betsy Woods at woodsb@childrensdayton.org or call (937)641-3619. The new outpatient care facility is located just off Route 741 at 3333 West Tech Road.
Attorney Robert “Chip” Mues has been focusing his legal practice throughout Southwest Ohio primarily in divorce and family law matters since 1978. Chip is passionate about family law and has proudly published the Ohio Family Law Blog since 2007. In addition, he is the managing partner of Holzfaster, Cecil, McKnight & Mues. To learn more about him or the law firm, visit the firm’s website at www.hcmmlaw.com. Appointments are available in person, over the phone
Online Assessment Tools – Do You Think You Might Have a Problem?
Here is a list of links to various online assessment tools that might be valuable for those interested in learning where they might score in areas that can frequently impact a marriage. Originally, I just intended to post an online depression assessment tool since many people going through a divorce suffer from some degree of depression. But once I started on the project, as you can see, the list kept growing. Here they all are:
- Depression Screening Test
- Inventory of Depressive Symptomatology
- Anger Management Test
- Arguing Style Test
- Domestic Violence Screening Test
- Woman Abuse Screening Test (WAST)
- Battered Woman Test
- Alcoholism Test
- Drug Abuse Screening Test
- Cocaine Addiction Test
- Marijuana Addiction Test<
- Internet Addiction Test
- Cybersex Addiction Test
- Sexual Addiction Test (SAST)
- Pornography Compulsion Test
- Gambling Addiction Test
- Food Addiction Test
- Compulsive Shopper Test
- Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder Test
- Mood Disorder Test
- Social Anxiety/Phobia Test
- Stress Test
- Workaholic Test
Additionally, if these assessment tools are not what you are looking for, consider checking out my previous post, “Divorce Calculator – We have an App for That.” Economist, Betsey Stevenson, from the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School in Philadelphia, developed the calculator based upon a recent study which has shown that the … Read More... “Online Assessment Tools – Do You Think You Might Have a Problem?”