Are Differing Post-Divorce Parenting Styles Causing Conflict?

postdiv.jpgHow do you handle it if after a divorce you and your Ex have different values or parenting styles? Do you hear “Mommy would let me” or “It is much more fun to live with Daddy”? Here is some great advice on this topic frequently raised by clients to their divorce lawyers. Dr. Greg Ramey, PhD, a child psychologist at Dayton Children’s Hospital and author of the Family Wise Column in the Dayton Daily News responded as follows:

Question:

My 7-year-old came back from a visit with his dad and asked me why he can do things there that he can’t do at home (e.g., stay up late, watch certain videos and eat certain types of food). I have an excellent relationship with my ex and I don’t want to say or do anything that will cause problems. I disagree with my ex on these issues but I don’t want to say that to my son.

Answer:

You can be honest with your son without criticizing your ex-husband. How about trying something as simple as this?”Grownups sometimes have different opinions on raising kids. Families may have different rules about bedtime, television and chores. I do things here that I … Read More... “Are Differing Post-Divorce Parenting Styles Causing Conflict?”

Fact or Fiction: Biological Children Fare Better Than Adopted Children?

ncadopt.jpgAccording to figures from the U.S. Census Bureau, there are 2.1 million adopted children and 4.4 million stepchildren of householders as estimated from the Census 2000 sample. Together, these children represented approximately 8 percent of the 84 million sons and daughters of householders in 2000.

It is a fact, based upon several recent surveys, that children in adoptive households are treated better than children in homes with two biological parents!  Adoptive parents were more likely to enrich their children’s lives to compensate for the lack of biological ties and invest more effort recognizing that adopted children needed more help to succeed. Nigel Barber, Ph.D., author of Kindness in a Cruel World, wrote a fascinating article in Psychology Today Blogs on June 1, 2009, about the subject (click here to read).  He analyzed two recent studies, both of which have findings that are inconsistent with the fairy-tale claim that parents cannot treat genetically unrelated children as well as their own kin.

In a study of homes having one natural child and one adopted child using records provided by an adoption agency for over 22 years, anthropologist, Kyle Gibson, concluded that adopted children were more likely to attend preschool and to … Read More... “Fact or Fiction: Biological Children Fare Better Than Adopted Children?”

The Dependency Tax Exemption Requirements Have Changed For 2009!

taxdep.jpgIn 2008, the IRS amended Code Section 152(e), the section which addresses the subject of the child dependency exemptions for divorced or separated parents. The old rule and procedures have been changed dramatically.

Here is a summary of the dependency exemption requirements:

  • The child must be your son, daughter, stepchild, foster child, brother, sister, half brother, half sister, stepbrother, stepsister, or a descendant of any of them.
  • The child must be (a) under age 19 at the end of the year, (b) under age 24 at the end of the year and a full-time student, or (c) any age if permanently and totally disabled.
  • The child must have lived with you for more than half of the year.
  • The child must not have provided more than half of his or her own support for the year.

If the child meets the rules to be a qualifying child of more than one person, you must be the person entitled to claim the child as a qualifying child.  (To read the special test for a qualifying child of more than one person, click here.

In most cases, but not always, a child of divorced or separated parents will qualify as a … Read More... “The Dependency Tax Exemption Requirements Have Changed For 2009!”

A Commentary: Nurturing Children After Divorce

post_divorce.jpgConsidering a multitude of differing perspectives and insights helps me to better hone my skills as a divorce lawyer.  What I see and hear every day is rarely black or white, but a rainbow of shades of gray. One way of broadening my viewpoint is to read all sorts of blogs each week, an activity which I totally enjoy! Consistently, one of my favorites is Michael Mastracci’s Divorce Without Dishonor Blog. Mike is an excellent attorney from Baltimore, Maryland. His own difficult and acrimonious divorce and child custody battle led to his personal interest in collaborative family law.  Attorneys and clients both should include his blog on their frequent read list. Mike regularly espouses ethical, moral and philosophical standards that we should aspire to meet. I have personally and professionally been a proponent of child welfare issues for over 30 years.  So, when I read his recent post about “What We Are Teaching Our Children of Separation and Divorce,” I had to ask Mike if I could have his permission to republish it. He kindly agreed. Here it is:

“What We Are Teaching Our Children of Separation and Divorce”

I stumbled upon a quote, while reading some other blogs that … Read More... “A Commentary: Nurturing Children After Divorce”

10 Tips To Cut Your Attorney Fees

timesave.jpgI would like to share some constructive fee-cutting suggestions for you to consider implementing after you have done your “due diligence” in selecting the right attorney for you and your issues. Many of the cases I have handled over the last 30 years are family law matters which are engagements typically based upon the number of hours spent in the representation.  The amount of time to complete these cases varies based upon many factors, including the nature of the issues, contentiousness of the parties, and the cooperation level existing between both counsel.  Recently, I have been asked by several clients what they can do to help reduce their attorney fees. Certainly, this is an excellent question especially with money being so tight and all of us having to deal with our poor economy.  Each attorney would no doubt answer this question differently.  So, be sure to ask your attorney about his or her own particular preferences.  Here are some of my simple tips to reduce your attorney fees:

  1. Use email instead of the phone.  Email communications are an excellent way to keep your attorney advised as to ongoing developments.  But, realize that many attorneys receive hundreds of emails in a
… Read More... “10 Tips To Cut Your Attorney Fees”

The Name Game Revisited…

sschange2.jpgI haven’t posted on this topic since October 18, 2008. My fellow blogger, Attorney Dick Price, publisher of the Divorce and Family Law Blog in Tarrant County, Texas, wrote an interesting post about trying to “force” a soon to be ex-wife into taking back her former name. The analysis under Ohio law would be the same as his under Texas law. Here is what Dick wrote on April 11, 2009:

A question that comes up occasionally is whether a husband can make his ex-wife change her last name so that she no longer uses his last name. The short answer is NO.

While adults can change their own names either as part of a divorce or as a separate action, the Texas Family Code does not provide a means to force someone else to change her name.

So, if you can’t force her to change her name, can you talk her into it? Maybe, but there are some difficulties associated with the name change. She would have to change her driver’s license and Social Security card. She would need to change over credit cards and loans. In other words, your ex-wife may not want to put up with the aggravation … Read More... “The Name Game Revisited…”

Hitting The Airwaves With “Big George” On The BBC

bg2.jpgEngland is trying to catch up with Ohio and the rest of the United States when it comes to Family Law.  Until a landmark case last week, the courts in England and Wales put little, if any, weight on the terms of prenuptial agreements.  Prenuptial agreements (also called antenuptial agreements) in one form or another have been around for a very long time.  The Supreme Court of Ohio in 1984 held in Gross v. Gross that, under certain circumstances, they are valid and the terms should be enforced by Ohio courts.

On July 2, 2009, I received an interesting phone call from a journalist from the BBC in London, England.  He wanted to know if I would be interested in commenting on the recent case holding and also sharing some insights about prenuptial agreements from the perspective of an American family law attorney.  I read the decision in the case of Radmacher v. Granatino and agreed to be interviewed a few hours later by “Big George” Wembly, the host of the live ‘Late Show’ on BBC-London radio station 94.9.

After a little research, I learned that “Big George” is an iconic broadcaster in London having had an extensive music career … Read More... “Hitting The Airwaves With “Big George” On The BBC”

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