Would my kids be better off if I got a divorce” is one of the toughest questions I have been asked in therapy. I try to help parents work through this complicated question. The answer has lifelong implications for the entire family.
Here are the five factors that I ask parents to consider:
1. Unhappy marriages can improve. Overwhelmed by the stress of work, children and a perceived lack of support from a spouse, many parents feel trapped in unhappy relationships with few prospects for improvement. Recent research by Linda Waite has challenged that assumption, finding that two-thirds of unhappy spouses who stayed together actually improved their marriages over a five-year period. Sometimes couples’ satisfaction was due to actively working on problems, but in other cases marriage partners just became more accepting of their spouses. In other situations, marital satisfaction increased when stressful events such as finances or child-rearing decreased.
2. Divorce doesn’t always bring happiness for the adults. Some of the same issues that cause an unhappy marriage can linger on after a divorce. I’ve found that many parents, both men and women, misattributed the reasons for their unhappiness. They blame their spouses for feeling unhappy or unfulfilled and … Read More... “Should I Get a Divorce for the Sake of My Kids?”
In 2005, a seventeen-year old girl named Shynerra Grant was murdered by her ex-boyfriend, Antonio. She had just graduated high school in Toledo, Ohio, and was heading to college in the fall. Shynerra had been stalked by her ex-boyfriend for more than a year before she was murdered. Antonio stalked and abused Shynerra, including an incident in May 2004 when he broke into her home and put her in the hospital with a broken jaw. At the time an adult could obtain a Civil Stalking Protection Order (CSPO), but it was almost impossible for minors to get that same protection if the aggressor was another minor.
Throughout life, we sometimes encounter difficult people. We may argue with them, fall silent, comply or take distance. In a divorce, particularly an acrimonious one, difficult behaviors abound. No one is on their best behavior under this amount of stress. Figuring out how to cope with difficult behavior is a bit easier once you can identify why a person behaves in a certain way and what he/she hopes to accomplish. Here is a list of the most common behaviors that frustrate us all and suggestions for dealing with them:
I am constantly scouring the web to find valuable information to post here. I was pleased to recently find an excellent website geared towards children’s issues. 
What is an in camera interview? The phrase “in camera” is a Latin term defined in Black’s Law Dictionary as: “In chambers; in private.” The interview does not involve a camera or a videotape at all! If a party is asking for the Court to have an in camera interview of a minor child, the request is for the Judge or Magistrate to interview the minor child privately with neither parent or his/her attorney being present. An Appellate Court in Michigan said it very well years ago . . .
According to figures from the U.S. Census Bureau, there are 2.1 million adopted children and 4.4 million stepchildren of householders as estimated from the Census 2000 sample. Together, these children represented approximately 8 percent of the 84 million sons and daughters of householders in 2000.
Our responsibility as parents is to nurture and protect our children. We do everything possible to ensure their physical safety and to care for their emotional and psychological needs as well. It seems a bit odd to think that many children and teens feel like it is their responsibility to protect us.