Blast From The Past: Post-Divorce: Here Are Three Ways to Declutter Negative Thoughts After Recent Divorce. Is it Time for Some Spring Cleaning for Your Mind?

declutter negative thoughts divorce support system

Declutter Negative Thoughts After Divorce

PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Here is one of my favorites posts from back on March 14th, 2022! We have a ton of interesting articles in our archives of the Ohio Family Law Blog. Use our Search tool and enjoy a few oldie but goodies!

Spring Cleaning for the Mind? How to Declutter Negative Thoughts After Divorce

declutter negative thoughts divorce support system

The sight of blooming flower blossoms always prompts the itch to spring clean. While we may toss out our junk, scrub the floors, and dust the furniture, we often don’t take the time to declutter the negative thoughts that intrude in our minds daily. This is especially true for recently divorced individuals, who often experience loneliness, anxiety, guilt, and grief.

Here are three ways to declutter those negative thoughts just in time to welcome the change of the seasons!

  1. Engage in Self-Care

    Self-care is perhaps one of the easiest ways to start decluttering negative thoughts after a divorce. We hear often about doing self-care, but what exactly is self-care?

    Self-care is generally defined as doing anything to improve one’s mental health. This can be done in a variety of ways. It can be as simple as reading a book for

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Blast From The Past: New Year Resolutions for Those Going Through a Divorce

Blast From The Past: New Year Resolutions for Those Going Through a Divorce

PUBLISHER’S UPDATE: Here is one of my favorites posts from back on January 15th, 2022! The advice rings as true now as it did then! …We have a ton of interesting articles in our archives of the Ohio Family Law Blog. Use our Search tool and enjoy a few oldie but goodies!

Making a Resolution can help you focus after Divorce

Going Through a Divorce in the New Year? Make a Resolution to Help you through the Adjustment!

make resolution new year going through divorceAs we embrace the new year, changes are inevitable. Especially if you are going through a separation or divorce. For you this might be a time of loss and sadness. Also think of it as a time of the hope for a brighter, happier future. The key is in the mindset about how to act and think differently in the new year.

Typically, people make promises to exercise more, or eat a healthier way, or perhaps lose weight. Often these goals are made with good intentions and start off strong, but within a month or so are forgotten. It might be more meaningful and helpful, especially for someone going through divorce to focus on a philosophical position, and to … Read More... “Blast From The Past: New Year Resolutions for Those Going Through a Divorce”

What I Wish All Kids of Divorced Parents Thought About the Holidays!

divorced parents holidays

PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Here is one Dr. Karen Finn wrote and posted to her blog on December 9, 2013. Her advice on kids of divorced parents, seems timeless and appropriate…

Divorced Parents: Divorce and the holidays can make things pretty miserable for kids. Here’s how to help your kids of divorce have happier holidays even if they aren’t with you.

divorced parents holidaysFor way too many kids of divorced parents the holidays aren’t all that merry. Instead, the holidays are filled with confusion and guilt. These kids experience confusion because they often have a hard time keeping track of schedules about when they’re going to be with Mom, when they’re going to be with Dad, and when they’re going to be with their friends. Then layered on top of this confusion is guilt.

Kids of divorced parents often feel the need to be actors. They don’t want to upset Mom by talking about Dad in front of her and they don’t want to upset Dad by talking about Mom in front of him. So, these kids learn to act like their other parent isn’t as important as the parent they’re with right now. The pressure to continue the charade amps up around … Read More... “What I Wish All Kids of Divorced Parents Thought About the Holidays!”

How To Forgive And Let Go After Divorce

forgive let go after divorce

How can I forgive and let go after divorce? The difficult challenges of healing post-divorce

forgive let go after divorceNo matter how you look at it, divorce is painful. Your life (and the lives of your children) are changed forever. And for a time you must face challenge after challenge – a seemingly endless stream of them. Yet you know you must continue to move forward so you persevere and eventually ask yourself the question, “How can I forgive and let go of all the hurt?”

This question is important because it’s at the core of all the pain you’re experiencing over your divorce. It’s also one of the most difficult challenges of healing after divorce because divorce brings with it so many hurts, betrayals, and lost dreams.

So let me walk you through how I help my clients learn how to forgive and let go after divorce.

The first step is to truly understand what forgiveness is.

What is forgiveness?

Simply put, forgiveness is a conscious decision to release your feelings of resentment, hurt, anger, or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you.

What I like about this definition is that it’s all about you. It’s not about waiting … Read More... “How To Forgive And Let Go After Divorce”

Blast From The Past: Dealing with the Holidays if You Are in Divorce Transition [2022]

college girl sitting on leaves in yard with hands raised

Going through a divoce transition? Tips for the holidays

PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC is a psychotherapist in private practice since 1986 in Farmington, Connecticut. She is a licensed professional counselor, a licensed alcohol and drug abuse counselor and an educator. In her private practice, Donna specializes in issues related to life transitions. These include but are not limited to divorce, remarriage, chronic illness, loss, relocation. Donna has been a guest contributor to the Ohio Family Law Blog since 2010. We have enjoyed collaborating on several articles over the years.

Make The Holiday Season One That Is Meaningful

holidays divorce transitionEvery major life event, whether joyful or sad, brings on a period of transition as we adjust to the “new normal.” Even though these periods of transition occur throughout our lives, each requires us to discover a new and unique path as we struggle to move through uncharted waters. The death of a loved one, a divorce, a family estrangement, an illness, or sudden unemployment are some of the changes that shake us to our core. We are challenged in ways we could not imagine.

And in the midst of all this upheaval, the leaves  are beginning to turn and … Read More... “Blast From The Past: Dealing with the Holidays if You Are in Divorce Transition [2022]”

10 Happy-Life, Motivational Quotes To Help You Move On After Divorce

happy life divorce motivational quotes

Sources of Encouragement: Happy life, motivational quotes that can Empower your Heart and Mind.

happy life divorce motivational quotesEvery now and then, when you’re down in the trenches of ugly emotions, a good dose of happy-life, motivational quotes is in order. Sure, it can seem a little sappy. But there’s good reason these positive musings still make the rounds.

So, if you’re facing the long road ahead after a divorce>, take a little encouragement from these wordsmiths.

Here are 10 happy life, motivational quotes to help you move on with a positive outlook after divorce:

  1. It always gets worse before it can get better. But it will get better. Like everything else, and like our past struggles, at some point we win, but before that win, there’s always that loss that spurs us on.

    – Dolores Huerta

    What a beautiful, pensive place to start. A reality check coupled with an assurance of hope. Surely the intensity of pain, grief, and adjustment can be managed when there is light beckoning you to the other side of loss. You can, of course, focus on the loss. Or you can focus on the hope and use the energy of the loss to propel you forward.

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Blast From The Past: Don’t Create Halloween Horrors for your Child! [2022]

halloween divorce

PUBLISHERS NOTE: “Halloween can be very tricky for divorced parents. Here is some great advice from Psychotherapist Donna Ferber from way back in 2010 and 2018. If you enjoy this article, you would love her book, “From Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life: A Woman’s Journey Through Divorce” available on Amazon and Kindle. Also, check out her website, www.DonnaFerber.com.”

Make Your Child’s Halloween A Positive Experience Post Divorce

halloween divorceFor many kids, Halloween is one of the most important holidays of the year. The child of divorce is faced with choices and concerns. Who will take me treat-or-treating? Who will get my costume and dress me? Where will I trick-or-treat?

Then, of course, there logistical problems for the divorced parents. By addressing these issues in advance, parents can reduce stress and not distract from the child’s positive experience. These include:

  • In two-parent homes, often one parent gives out candy while the other parent takes the child trick-or-treating. Now there is only one parent in the home. Do you stay and give out candy or do you go with your child?
  • Parents often do not specify in their divorce decree who “gets” the child on October 31. If it falls on a visitation
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