“How often do parents cheat on each other?” asked 16-year-old Jason during one of our recent sessions.
There was an uncomfortable silence for several moments. I knew this was going to be extremely difficult for Jason to handle, so I started by providing him with some facts about marital infidelity.
I told him that it was impossible to really know the answer to his question, as people are reluctant to be truthful. However, experts estimate that anywhere from 30 to 60 percent of married people have sexual relationships with someone other than their spouses.
“Do they usually get divorced once it’s discovered?” he asked.
“Not always,” I responded. “About 30 to 50 percent of the time, marriages can survive in spite of this serious problem.” He seemed reassured by my answer.
There are typically concerns behind such questions. Jason eventually told me that he had read an e-mail on his dad’s computer describing in graphic detail the sexual contact that had apparently been going on between his dad and a female friend.
Jason was emotionally traumatized after reading this letter. He felt angry at his dad, but Jason also was extremely confused about what if anything to say to his … Read More... “Should Teen Expose Dad’s Infidelity?”
For many kids, Halloween is one of the most important holidays of the year. The child of divorce is faced with choices and concerns. Who will take me treat-or-treating? Who will get my costume and dress me? Where will I trick-or-treat?
Psychotherapist and Guest Contributor Donna F. Ferber sent me an email a month or so ago encouraging me to read Suzi Parker’s article about famous couples who chose, rather than going through a divorce, to simply live separate lives. Click 
Would my kids be better off if I got a divorce” is one of the toughest questions I have been asked in therapy. I try to help parents work through this complicated question. The answer has lifelong implications for the entire family.
I am pleased that Donna Ferber, a psychotherapist and a frequent contributor to the Ohio Family Law Blog has agreed to co-author this article with me! Our goal is to present both the legal and emotional perspectives of a trend that we are seeing in our professional practices: long term marriages ending by divorce when the wife has come to the conclusion that she has just “had enough” and that the husband is seemingly caught “blindsided” by the situation. The intent of the article is not a male versus female point and counterpoint, but rather a collaborative discourse that can provide insight into the complexity of the issues.
Just as each marriage is unique, so is each divorce. Your reaction to the final legal decree will vary from that of others going through this process. Your feelings will be based on your own special circumstances and will depend upon a number of factors:
As an adult who weathered through a divorce proceeding within the past thirteen (13) years, I was the product of an “intact family” having parents who were married for more than 54 years. Like most young women, I was “socialized” into thinking that I would grow up, meet Prince Charming, fall in love, get married, and “live happily ever after”! Unfortunately, that dream of many young women has become more of a myth than a “true-to-life” fairy tale as our divorce rate approaches or exceeds 50% for first time marriages. Nevertheless, I was hopeful that my two children would not be negatively affected by their parents’ divorce as they were not toddlers anymore. When my divorce actually took place, both children had graduated from college and were living independently.