Are Child Raising Strategies Causing Conflict in Your Marriage?

divorceKids cause conflicts in many marriages. How these issues get resolved has important consequences not only for your children but for the health of your marriage.

Disagreements about child rearing are not only inevitable but healthy. Discussion and debate can result in new insights and help you think about issues in a different way. Parents shouldn’t be reluctant to respectfully challenge their partner’s perspective. I like George Patton’s comment that, “if everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking.”

Parental conflicts are usually ones of strategy and, typically, are easy to resolve. In these situations, both parents agree on the goal but have very different paths to get there.

Amy’s parents rearranged their busy schedule to have dinner together almost every night. Four-year-old Amy was not always the most cooperative. Mom reported that several times a month Amy would cry during dinner for no apparent reason and crawl into her lap.

This was fine with Amy’s mom, who felt that her daughter simply needed some reassurance and security. Since this happened so infrequently, she just didn’t understand her husband’s overreaction. Dad felt that Amy was being manipulative and this behavior ruined dinner “almost every night.”

Since the parents had the … Read More... “Are Child Raising Strategies Causing Conflict in Your Marriage?”

School Resumes, How To Start The School Year Off Well!

Tips to help your children prepare for the challenges of a new school year

school yearThe lazy, hazy days of summer are coming to an end, as a new school year is quickly approaching. My wife, a school teacher of 30 plus years, suggested that we post an article about this topic of starting the school year well.  So with her help, here it is.

Although they may protest, most children like the routine that school brings, and they are ready to get back into the swing of the school year. The new school year is exciting because students get the opportunity to have a fresh start. However it can also be a time of anxiousness when kids worry about things such as will I like my new teacher or will my friends be in my class? It can also be nerve racking for those who are going from elementary to middle school, or middle school to high school, or for those who are moving to a new school district.

Establish school year traditions and celebrations

As adults we have memories of getting ready for a new school year, whether it was picking out new school supplies, or finding … Read More... “School Resumes, How To Start The School Year Off Well!”

Parenting Tips on Gifts and Teens Who Don’t Want to Visit

parentingFor those of you who follow our blog, you already know that local child psychologist Dr. Greg Ramey is a frequent contributor.  Dr. Ramey is the vice president for outpatient services at Dayton Children’s and writes FamilyWise, a weekly parenting column in the Dayton Daily News that is distributed through the New York Times wire service. He is also a clinical assistant professor of pediatrics at Wright State University Boonshoft School of Medicine.  From time to time, Dr. Ramey publishes in his Sunday column in the Dayton Daily News letters or emails that he has received from parents and his response to those questions in a Q & A format.

Here are a few dilemmas that I thought parents might find interesting. The first is from a mother who doesn’t approve of gifts that her children receive from their father, while the second letter discusses visitation issues for a teen who is resisting going to his father’s as it is getting in the way with his social life.

Parenting Tip: In Her House, Mom Can Veto Video Games

Q.  I dread this time of the year because of the constant conflicts with my ex-spouse regarding Christmas gifts for our two … Read More... “Parenting Tips on Gifts and Teens Who Don’t Want to Visit”

Parallel Parenting: When You and Your Ex Can’t Play Nice

How Parallel Parenting is a viable alternative to banging your head against the wall

Parallel ParentingThe continued post-divorce acrimony that plays out in the arena of parenting is the probably the most aggravating and stressful part of divorce for all involved. Parents struggle with a sense of wanting to make this transition easy for their children but when left over marital issues continue to play out in the co parenting arena, the adults often throw up their hands in frustration. The continued conflict is worrisome as it is the fighting, not marital status, that hurts the kids.

So, here you are embroiled in a constant struggle of trying to play “nice.” Ideally we would all like co-parenting to be like silly sit-coms with mad-cap situations leading to easy going resolution. The parenting books tell us how it “should” go, but is it too idealistic to believe this is possible all, or even most, of the time? After all, if you had good conflict resolution with your former spouse, you might not have gotten divorced in the first place. Also, we need to consider that the crumbling of a marriage and the subsequent divorce process can be extremely hurtful- containing aspects of … Read More... “Parallel Parenting: When You and Your Ex Can’t Play Nice”

Parenting with an Uncooperative Ex

Parenting with an Uncooperative Ex: A Divorce Lawyer’s Perspective

Parenting Tips for dealing with an Uncooperative Ex Spouse!

parentingThis topic is an exceedingly broad one, but I will try to share my insights from my perspective as a practicing family law attorney for the past 34 years.  The original idea to write this article was that of Connecticut psychotherapist, Donna Ferber. I thought it was a great idea of hers to tackle this subject; from both a therapist’s perspective and a lawyer’s perspective.  Here is the link to Donna’s perceptive take about parenting with an uncooperative parent in her blog article, The Uncooperative Co-Parent, posted on her blog February 18, 2012.  In addition, she gave me permission to repost her article in this blog on February 29, 2012.

When the parties have children, while it might be desirable, it’s impossible to apply a “no contact rule” and completely disassociate themselves from their uncooperative ex spouse. The parties have to come to some sort of arrangement when they have children and when there is parenting time with their ex-spouse. Ideally, in parenting, parents should develop a direct channel of communication with each other and not use their children as messengers. … Read More... “Parenting with an Uncooperative Ex”

Parenting Advice: Staying Connected with Kids, Skype and Technology…

Tips on how technology can be used as a tool for parents

skype kids tecnology in Dayton OhioFive-year-old Landon loves for his Aunt Michelle to read him bedtime stories. He snuggles in his bed with his special blanket and an extra pillow and gets all comfortable while he follows along with his favorite book. This bedtime routine occurs every few weeks, even though his aunt lives hundreds of miles away. Landon and his aunt are connected by a video conference call with a camera easily installed on any computer. He watches and listens to his aunt on a laptop computer as she reads to him.

Staying connected with family has always been extremely important to Michelle, a young professional with a busy travel schedule. When her nephew was a few years old, she purchased web cameras for family members at Christmas. Using a free video conference service (Skype.com) she began having regular contact with her nephew. He wasn’t very good at speaking on the phone, but he loved to show off his latest projects from preschool. “Technology is not a replacement for me,” said Michelle, “but it has allowed me to stay connected and be an active part of his life even though I am … Read More... “Parenting Advice: Staying Connected with Kids, Skype and Technology…”

Do I Matter As a Parent? A Child Psychologist Shares Some Good News!

do_i_matter_as_a_parent.jpgParenting is a challenging job. The physical, emotional, and financial demands seem endless. It feels as if we are always sacrificing what we want for the sake of our kids. Our dreams get delayed and often denied, as we usually put our kids as the highest priority in our lives.

We do this willingly, not only for the satisfaction that comes from raising children, but also from the anticipation that what we do today will echo well into the future. We are the most important influence in how our kids turn out, aren’t we? Children are the message we send to an unknown future, and it’s worth all of the work and frustration to help our children develop into moral, loving, and productive people.

Raising kids gets really tough when you have that nagging feeling that what you do may not really matter all that much. As we learn more about genetics, it appears that so much of how our kids develop is due more to chromosomes and genotype rather than our love and discipline. By the time our kids are preteens, we often feel helpless as we realize we are fighting a battle against cultural influences that we cannot … Read More... “Do I Matter As a Parent? A Child Psychologist Shares Some Good News!”

Page 6 of 10
1 4 5 6 7 8 10