6 Things Parents Don’t Want to Hear About Their Children

children parents hear

children parents hearI enjoy speaking with parents at workshops, most of which focus on issues such as using praise, time out, or selective attention. However, I’ve acquired a somewhat problematic habit over the years-saying things that turn off most of the audience.

It’s easy to talk about discipline techniques, but it’s tricky to openly discuss some uncomfortable realities about being a mom or dad. Here is my list of the top six things that are rarely well received.

  1. Don’t make children your highest priority. It’s a serious mistake to make your children the center of your universe. You need to take better care of yourself and spend lots of time with your spouse. Is it essential to attend all of your kids’ sporting events or play performances? Mentally healthy kids learn about compromise and caring by seeing that their parents don’t put children on a pedestal and cater to their every whim.
  2. You can’t control how your kids turn out. Most parents work hard and sacrifice many of their dreams to care for another life. You’d like to think that there is a relationship between what you do, and what you get. While parents have lots of influence, great parents can raise
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Putative Father Registry: Should One Be Established Nationally?

National Putative Father Registry Database Could Benefit Father And The Child

Putative Father RegistryThis article intends to highlight the rationale for creating a National Putative Father Registry, instead of just allowing each state to independently promulgate their own registry.

What is a Paternity Registry?

A Paternity or Putative Father Registry is a database established to protect children and their mother by allowing putative fathers to list their names. This, in turn, will require that the putative father is notified regarding his legal rights to the child and if any of those rights are in the process of being removed. This also protects unmarried mothers by not forcing them to identify the names of the possible fathers. There are thirty states that currently have paternity registries (Ohio is included in this group). A previous article posted on the Ohio Family Law Blog discussing the Ohio Putative Father Database can be found here.

What’s the point of a Paternity Registry?

Paternity registries have numerous uses. The first and often most beneficial use of the paternity registry is to notify and prevent putative fathers from having their parental rights removed without notice. By being listed in the State where the adoption proceedings are … Read More... “Putative Father Registry: Should One Be Established Nationally?”

Paternity Establishment in Ohio – Parenthood Outside Of Marriage

Acknowledgment Of Paternity Is A Legal Commitment To Parenthood

paternityBirth of a child.

When a child is born, a few things happen that determine parenthood.  Obviously, the mother is known instantly.  After the birth, the natural mother and alleged father sign an “acknowledgment of paternity affidavit” at the hospital or a local child support enforcement agency.  The execution of it is notarized.

After the acknowledgment of paternity affidavit is signed and notarized, it is sent to the office of child support.  Once the office receives this paternity document, it must send it out after no later than ten (10) days to be corrected by the parents.  After all these paternity documents have been completed correctly, the department will enter the information into the birth registry, officially cementing the natural mother and alleged father as the parents of the child.

Oh No! You’re not the father, what now?

What if, following the filing and registering of the birth information listing you as the father, you discover that you’re not the father?

The Ohio Revised Code lists specific circumstances that must occur in order for you to rescind your acknowledgment of parenthood.  These circumstances are as follows…

  1. Not later than SIXTY days
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Paternity Issues: When A Child Is Born During A Separation

What Is The Dilemma Posed When a Child Born During a Marriage is not “Issue” of the Marriage?

paternityFactual Scenario:

John and Jane Doe have a six-year marriage and no children.  They have come upon difficult times in their marriage.  They are encountering financial difficulties and are literally living from paycheck to paycheck.  John is drinking more than usual to cope with the financial difficulties of the family.  Both are worried about the security of their positions of employment.  They decide to separate to determine if their marriage can be salvaged or if they should terminate their marriage by divorce or dissolution.

Both parties begin to date other persons during their separation from one another.   Jane becomes pregnant with her “boyfriend’s” child.  The boyfriend, Jeff, feels as though he was trapped into an unwanted and unplanned pregnancy and breaks up with Jane.  Jane decides that she wants to try to reconcile with her husband, and they do reconcile and begin living together again as Husband and Wife.  Six months later, a child is born and is named Aiden Doe.  Because Aiden was born during the marriage of John and Jane Doe, he is presumed to be born as “issue” of … Read More... “Paternity Issues: When A Child Is Born During A Separation”

Establishing Paternity in Ohio – An Overview

establish_paternity.jpgThe concept of “paternity” refers to the process of going to court to establish a legal relationship between a father and his child.  The process exists because society has created laws to make sure that children are supported by their own biological parents whenever possible.  A paternity action will help determine who should be paying for that support and how much they should be paying.  In Ohio, a paternity action will only apply to a mother and father who were never married  because any child born during a marriage is presumed to be the husband’s legal child.  Paternity actions between unmarried people are typically heard in a county’s juvenile court.

Who can file for paternity?

In Ohio, the only people who can bring an action to establish paternity are the mother of a child, the alleged father of that child, the child (or a representative of the child), or the Child Support Enforcement Agency in the county where the child resides (if the mother, alleged father or guardian of the child is receiving public assistance on behalf of the child).  A grandparent or other relative cannot file a paternity suit.

Why should someone establish paternity?

Paternity helps to protect both … Read More... “Establishing Paternity in Ohio – An Overview”

What is The Purpose of the Ohio Putative Father Registry?

puronlineform.jpgLately, it seems that I have had more and more of my male clients coming in to see me to discuss issues relating to paternity.  There are so many myths out there about what needs to happen to establish paternity and the possible outcomes of failing to do so, that it never ceases to amaze me!  Perhaps the most serious outcome that many people are unaware of is that a “putative” father can have his child adopted out to someone else without his consent if the appropriate action has not been taken.

In Ohio, a person is presumed to know that if he has had sexual relations with a woman and she becomes pregnant that the child may be adopted without the father’s consent once the child is more than a month old.  As a way to counteract this result, the Ohio State legislature mandated the creation of the Ohio Putative Father Registry.  The purpose of the Registry is that a person who believes that he may have fathered a child can now establish the legal right to be notified of any hearings where the mother either voluntarily or involuntarily gives up custody rights to the child.  The “putative” father … Read More... “What is The Purpose of the Ohio Putative Father Registry?”

The Untimely and Unexpected Death of Chris Henry…Questions About the Consequences for His Survivors

chery.jpgFans of football in general, but more particularly fans of the West Virginia University Mountaineers and the Cincinnati Bengals, mourn the untimely loss of Chris Henry on December 17, 2009.  He was just twenty-six (26) years of age.  Henry had a stellar career as a wide receiver at West Virginia University and was drafted by the Cincinnati Bengals in the third (3rd) round of the 2005 draft.  He had some notable off-the-field problems and at least five (5) legal-related incidents but was seemingly back on track with both his football career and life when he sustained an injury to his forearm in mid-season of 2009.  During the Cincinnati-Baltimore game, Chris sustained a fracture to his left forearm and was thereafter placed on the “injured reserve” list.

On the evening of Wednesday, December 16, 2009, there was an incident described as a “domestic dispute” involving Henry and his fiancé, Loleini Tonga. Reports say that Ms. Tonga was attempting to leave a residence in North Carolina when Henry jumped into the bed of the pick-up truck she was driving.  Henry was later thrown from the bed of the truck.  He sustained massive head injuries and died the next morning.

Many legal … Read More... “The Untimely and Unexpected Death of Chris Henry…Questions About the Consequences for His Survivors”