Psychotherapist and Guest Contributor Donna F. Ferber sent me an email a month or so ago encouraging me to read Suzi Parker’s article about famous couples who chose, rather than going through a divorce, to simply live separate lives. Click here to read Ms. Parker’s article about a trend some people call an “un-divorce.”
We both agreed to attempt to fairly evaluate the “pros and cons” of this option: she from a psychological perspective and me from a legal perspective. Initially, Donna was much more open to the possible merits of this arrangement than I was. She made it clear that she was most interested in hopefully reaching and empowering people who are in unhappy marriages and who feel trapped by fear, ignorance, and the lack of financial and emotional resources. Donna and I continued to exchange numerous emails over the last six weeks about this “un-divorce” arrangement, discussing the relative merits of couples remaining married but living separate lives. By reading the title of this article, I suspect you can tell that I am not impressed with the overall wisdom of such a relationship. While it is certainly possible to construct various hypothetical situations when an “un-divorce” arrangement might … Read More... “The “Un-Advisability” of an “Un-Divorce” Arrangement”
In a recent analysis of census data, the Pew Research Center found that the institution of marriage has undergone significant changes in recent decades as women have outpaced men in education and earnings growth. The study examined American’s 30 to 44 years old, a stage of life when typical adults have completed their education, have gone to work and gotten married. “Men now are increasingly likely to marry wives with more education and income than they have, and the reverse is true for women,” said Paul Fucito, spokesman for the Pew Center. “In recent decades, with the rise of well-paid working wives, the economic gains of marriage have been a greater benefit for men.” Clearly, these unequal gains have been accompanied by gender role reversals in both the spousal characteristics and the economic benefits of marriage.
It is newsworthy that the State of Ohio has taken major “hits” in the job loss category and that our unemployment rate approaches 10%. Recently, General Motors, aka Delphi, has closed most plants in Dayton causing a massive loss of jobs in the manufacturing sector. Then, National Cash Register (NCR) announced the company was moving its headquarters and nearly fifteen hundred (1500) jobs to a suburb of Atlanta, Georgia. The Dayton Daily News has reported that eleven (11) policemen are slated to “lose their jobs” due to budgetary constraints. Also, businesses associated with supplying the auto industry with parts and services are feeling a financial “crunch” as their major or primary customer was General Motors, aka Delphi.