Most preventable mental disorder in children is Divorce-related trauma

Divorced parents simply have no appreciation of the trauma they cause their children, most of which is totally preventable. Yes, divorce is difficult for kids, but they can successfully deal with it if they have parents who love them more than they dislike their ex-spouse.

Parents underestimate what their children feel, think and experience about the divorce process. Kids really do pick up on your subtle sarcasm, rolling of the eyes, abrupt style and frequent put downs of your ex-spouse. Why do divorced parents behave in such a terrible manner? I’ve asked that question many times to parents in my office, and I typically get a litany of the many real and perceived hurts inflicted by the ex-spouse. Bad behavior by one parent doesn’t justify retribution by the other.

Here’s what a 10-year told me recently. “They think I don’t know stuff they say about each other but I do. It hurts. It hurts a lot!”

[Reprinted by permission from the Dec. 30 edition of the Dayton Daily News, “Thoughts on children drawn from past year”, Family Wise, Gregory Ramey, PH.D.]

How to Select a Divorce Lawyer Pt. 2

In Part 2 of “How to Select a Divorce Lawyer” attorney Robert Mues continues his key considerations in selecting the “right” divorce lawyer:

The “Hot Potato Shuffle”

Some family law firms shuffle clients between lawyers in the firm like they are “hot potatoes.” Clarify at the start of the representation the firm’s policy on the subject. While this type of treatment may work on a personal injury, criminal or insurance defense matter, it rarely results in high client satisfaction at the conclusion of a divorce case.

Guaranteed Results

The objective in hiring your divorce lawyer should be to find excellent representation not specific results. Be leery of any attorney who makes broad guarantees at an initial conference. There are many shades of gray in family law litigation. The ultimate results in any divorce case are impacted by the facts and oftentimes which judge is assigned the case. Therefore, it is usually premature to make definitive representations at an initial conference. Watch out for the “bait and switch” tactics!

How Much Will the Divorce Cost?

This is one of the toughest questions a family law attorney is ever asked! The unknown variables make it truly impossible to predict with any true … Read More... “How to Select a Divorce Lawyer Pt. 2”

How to Select a Divorce Lawyer – Six Keys to Finding the Right Attorney for a Divorce

man browsing books to find the right divorce attorneyFinding the right attorney for a divorce is an extremely important and personal decision. Take the time to properly pick your attorney. The outcome of your family law case will impact your future dramatically!  Here are six keys to finding the right representation:


Most attorneys these days have narrowed their practice to one or a few areas of the law. Divorce law is a very specialized field therefore it is important to find a lawyer that concentrates his or her practice in the particular area of law that you need – whether it’s divorce, child custody, domestic violence or another family law category. An experienced divorce lawyer will understand the philosophies and tendencies of the judges in the various jurisdictions. That knowledge is extremely valuable and should be used to your benefit.

Past Client References

An extremely valuable way to gain insight about a particular attorney is to find out what former clients say about the lawyer. Ask family, friends, church members or co-workers if they know of a good family law attorney. Also, most lawyers can give you references of former clients who have agreed to serve as a reference for the lawyer.

Professionalism, Reputation and Integrity

Some … Read More... “How to Select a Divorce Lawyer – Six Keys to Finding the Right Attorney for a Divorce”

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