children Archives - Ohio Family Law Blog

How to Tell Your Children About Your Filing for Divorce

Filing For Divorce? Break The News To Your Children With These Recommendations

Having been a divorce lawyer for over 40 years, I am asked this question frequently. I always appreciate the question. It shows appropriate concern and insight about the importance of handling this matter correctly.

My advice is to spend time reading materials from counselors and psychologists on the subject more qualified to address it. There are a ton of resources available online or books on the topic. Planning ahead is important – don’t just drop this “bomb” in an off-hand nonthought-out manner.

Here are some suggestions the professionals often recommend:

Both Parents Tell the Kids Together

While this may not be possible in many situations, it certainly is usually the best approach if you and your spouse can present a civil “united front”. That will hopefully show your children that both parents will continue to be in their lives going forward. Also, doing it together prevents one parent from unintentionally (or intentionally) placing blame.
Plan What You Will Say

Avoid the thought that you need to explain EVERYTHING. Sharing the “truth” is not important. The objective is to provide the children reassurance and loving support. Generally, you

Divorced? Here are Some Tips to Avoid Summertime Blues with the Kids

Families Facing Parenting Challenges During Covid-19 Summertime Months

Divorced with Children? How to Juggle Work, Vacation and Childcare During the Summertime Months

COVID-19 has certainly added to the stress of the school year no matter what plan you pursued. Homeschooling, virtual learning, in school instruction, masks, social distancing, all have wreaked havoc with the traditional school year to which most people are accustomed. Now summer, and those carefree days that kids dream about all school year long, has finally arrived. However, summer can be difficult on parents when it comes to juggling work, vacation, camps and childcare.

This is especially true for parents who are separated or divorced. Trying to coordinate summer schedules can cause tension and conflict. Although there is no easy way to resolve all the issues that may arise when raising children in two separate homes, there are some tips to follow to help make things easier for both the parents and the kids.

The first thing to do is to read over your divorce or custody decree if you have one, and/or review your parenting agreement. Make sure you have a clear understanding about what your agreement says about co-parenting during the summer months. … Read More... “Divorced? Here are Some Tips to Avoid Summertime Blues with the Kids”

Blast From The Past: What and How to Tell Your Children About Your Divorce

Blast from the past 13 years Ohio Family Law Blog

PUBLISHER’S NOTE: What is the best way to tell children about their parents divorcing? This is a frequent question I am asked. I can’t tell you how many times over the years that I have sent clients a link to this 2010 article from Connecticut Psychotherapist Donna F. Ferber. Surely sage advice for all times!

One of the most difficult things you will ever have to do as a parent is tell your children that their parents are breaking up. It is important that you shift your focus from your loss to your children’s loss. Divorce is about the dissolution of a husband-wife relationship. It marks a change in the parent-child relationship. Staying aware of this difference will help you effectively support your children. In talking with your children, stay focused on their feelings about this experience. If you focus on the spousal relationship, your own feelings may get in the way of good parenting.

Here are some tips for explaining the divorce to your children:

If possible, both parents should be present. This illustrates to the children that you will still be able to co-parent.
Tell them close to the time that one of the

Talking to Children about School Violence: Tips for Parents and Teachers

What To Tell Your Kids About The Florida High School Shootings – Tips On School Safety For Children And Resource Links For Violence Prevention

PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Yesterday, February 16th, Psychotherapist Donna F. Ferber entered the world of Facebook with her first Facebook post. The subject was a horribly depressing but a timely one: What to tell your kids about the Florida High School shootings. Donna ALWAYS shares terrific advice in her blog columns. I thank her for sharing this valuable public service by providing a link for both parents and teachers (which was posted in 2016) by the National Association of School Psychologists (NASP).

Here is what Donna concisely posted, “My first post on Facebook. Helpful information in troubling times. I look forward to a time when we don’t need to have these difficult conversations”.

Here is the link she provided as a resource to our teachers and parents:

Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Parents and Teachers

The information, in my mind, warrants posting it in full. Here it is:

“High profile acts of violence, particularly in schools, can confuse and frighten children who may feel in danger or worry that their friends or … Read More... “Talking to Children about School Violence: Tips for Parents and Teachers”

Why You Should Think Twice Before Posting A Photo of Your Child

post photo child We often agonize about the technology expectations we have for our kids, but what rules do our children want for us?

When kids between the ages of 10 to 17 were asked that question, their highest priority was that we “be present” when we are with them. Children wanted a rule that there would be “no technology at all in a certain social contact: Pay attention/put down the phone when your child is trying to tell you something important,” according to research just published by Alexis Hinker and associates.

The second most important rule from our kids was that we “Don’t post anything about me without asking me.” “Twice as many children as parents expressed concerns about family members oversharing personal information about them on Facebook and other social media without permission,” said co-author Sarita Schoenebeck.

Do children have a right to privacy?

A California law went into effect in 2015 gives minors an electronic eraser button. They can delete any post made in social media, and sites like Facebook must clearly inform kids how that can be done. However, this only applies to what is posted by kids, not what adults post about their children.

Should you seek your … Read More... “Why You Should Think Twice Before Posting A Photo of Your Child”

Divorce: Helping Children Succeed After Divorce Seminar – Hosted By The Greene County Domestic Relations Court

Greene County Domestic Relations Court Seminar To Help Children Succeed Post Divorce – A Review and Breakdown

divorce seminar children On Saturday, February 22, 2016, I had the opportunity to attend a seminar entitled “Helping Children Succeed After Divorce.” The seminar was held at the Greene County Domestic Relations Court located at 595 Ledbetter Road, Xenia, Ohio. The cost for attending the program is included in the Court’s filing fee for either a divorce, dissolution of marriage, or legal separation proceeding. The Court has three (3) two-hour seminars per month to accommodate the working schedules of all parties. Two seminars are held in the evening from 6:00 to 8:00 p.m. and one seminar is held on one Saturday per month from 9:30 a.m. until 11:30 a.m.

Parents of minor children are “ordered” at attend this seminar and a failure to attend could result in a loss of parenting time (also known as visitation) until the non-compliant parent attends the seminar. To schedule an appointment time for the mandatory divorce seminar, parties are instructed to call (937) 562-6249, Extension 0 to schedule their date and time to attend the workshop. Although parents must attend the mandatory divorce seminar, the parties are not required … Read More... “Divorce: Helping Children Succeed After Divorce Seminar – Hosted By The Greene County Domestic Relations Court”

Fathers: 5 Ways American Fatherhood is Changing

Pew Research Statistical Findings Show Fathers Taking Active Role In Home Life

fathers children Kim Parker, Director of Social Trends Research at Pew Research Center, published a very interesting article on June 15, 2015, in their “Fact Tank” about the changing role of fatherhood in today’s society. Some of the statistical findings were surprising in my mind.

“Today, fathers who live with their children are taking a more active role in caring for them and helping out around the house. And the ranks of stay-at-home fathers and single fathers have grown significantly in recent decades. At the same time, more and more children are growing up without a father in the home ”, Parker said.

Here are 5 of the findings she made from reviewing the Pew Research Center reports:

Fewer dads are their family’s sole breadwinner. Among married couples with children under age 18, dual-income households are now the dominant arrangement (60%). In 1960, only one-in-four of these households had two incomes; 70% had a father who worked and a mother who was at home with the kids.
Roles of dads and moms are converging. In 1965, father’s time was heavily concentrated in their employment duties, while mothers

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