PUBLISHERS NOTE:More people are executing prenuptial agreements than ever before. Millennials are getting married at a later age, many have a lot of student debt and more assets. The COVID-19 pandemic is causing people to be more aware of their mortality and planning for the future. I thought reposting this “blast from the past” from June 17, 2017, about prenuptial agreements was appropriate.
Prenuptial Agreements have increased in recent years says study…but why?
Prenuptial agreements are daunting to bring up to one’s significant other and many individuals fear bringing up the topic. Many individuals worry that the prenuptial discussion will cause problems, such as making their significant other feel as if they are not trusted or as if there is an anticipation of a divorce in Ohio via a lack of commitment. However, research has shown that having a prenuptial agreement may in fact strengthen a relationship. Did you know that According to a survey of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), 63 percent of divorce attorneys say they’ve seen an increase in prenuptial agreementsrecent years? This is NOT just a male thing either. Forty-six percent of these lawyers also noted an increase in the number of … Read More... “Blast From The Past: How to Ask for a Prenuptial and Avoid a Break-Up!”
For decades, Sesame Street has played on TV’s across the country, teaching children their ABC’s and 123’s, while also broadening their vocabulary, and increasing other academic skills. But now, Sesame Street is focused on another issue: helping children cope with traumatic experiences.
Children and Traumatic Experiences
A study conducted in 2016 found that nearly half of the children in the United States have experienced at least one traumatic or stressful event, including the death of a loved one, abuse, and divorce. The study also found that 1 in 5 of these children has experienced these events on more than one occasion. Click here to read the study.
How Can Sesame Street Help Children With Traumatic Experiences?
Children who experience traumatic experiences are more likely to develop posttraumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and even substance abuse. Early exposure to traumatic events affects the neurodevelopment of a child, which changes the way that they respond to stress and other experiences. According to the Department of Psychiatry at Saint Vincent’s Hospital in New York, “exposure to trauma also affects children’s ability to regulate, identify, and express emotions, and may have a negative effect on the way that a child views … Read More... “Divorce: New Sesame Street Videos Help Kids Deal with Trauma”
In addition to collecting baseball cards, I started writing down favorite quotes when I was in elementary school. My mom “cleaned out” (i.e., threw away) my cards when I went to college, but I’ve continued to collect the inspirational perspectives from others.
My collection has changed over the years. I’ve deleted “feel good” quotes that didn’t make any sense. Peter Pan’s admonition that “Anything is possible if you wish hard enough” falls into that category. Here are some of my favorites.
“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.” (William Ward) Our happiness is less dependent upon what happens to us, and more related to how we adjust to minor frustrations and serious traumas. Therapy is about learning how to “adjust the sails” to deal with life.
“Sometimes you never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” (Dr. Seuss) Many parents feel overwhelmed by the challenges of getting through the day, and fail to appreciate the fleeting joys of family life. I encourage families, both parents and children, to take a few moments to reflect upon the many good things they experience every day.
One of six children has a mental health disorder, but most of these kids don’t receive professional help for their problems. The reasons include parental ignorance, apathy, finances, or simply feeling bewildered by a complex mental health system.
Some of our neediest kids live in families with some of our neediest parents. Most are loving parents who are too overwhelmed trying to get through the day. Taking their child to weekly therapy appointments and making a myriad of changes is simply beyond what they can accomplish.
If you can’t get involved with a mental health professional, try one of these suggestions.
Make certain your child is getting enough sleep. Many of our kids are sleep-deprived. They may live in chaotic homes without a regular bedtime routine. Sleep deprivation has a big impact on kids’ behaviors. Your child may not have a behavior disorder, but rather a sleep problem.
Be clear about your rules and expectations. Kids have a hard time adjusting to expectations that are ambiguous and often change. Decide on a few things that matter. Be clear and specific about those rules, and make certain your child can say them back to you.
For most parents, raising children is one of the most important and meaningful parts of their lives. In response to our unconditional love and total commitment, we get hugs, laughter, challenges and a sense of purpose and passion.
However, for a very small number of parents, children are a burden to be tolerated rather than a blessing to be experienced. These youngsters typically have a variety of severe emotional and behavior problems, usually beginning in preschool. Parents have usually sought help from a myriad of professionals over many years, with little success. They eventually discover the uncomfortable truth that despite our best efforts, there are some children that professionals don’t know how to help.
In a moment of terrifying honesty, these parents tell me they feel more loathing than love for their child.
Early in my career, I dismissed such feelings as reflective of ineffective parents. All would be fine if only parents would set clear rules, be consistent in their discipline, and adjust their style to meet the special needs of their children.
I was wrong. I’ve learned over the years that good parents can raise bad kids.
Some weeks ago, I tuned into an NPR radio interview with Penn and Teller, those amazing magicians/entertainers who have for decades defied logic and fooled us with their brilliant illusions.
What caught my interest was the oddity of the interview. The dynamic duo of Penn and Teller were being interviewed separately. This intrigued me as I wondered how NPR would handle empty radio air space if the usually silent Raymond Teller continued to be mute.
Luckily, he did not. And among the thought provoking things he had to say was this, “Nothing fools you better than the lie you tell yourself.” Of course, he was talking about magic. But I was thinking about denial. It never occurred to me before that moment that magic has so much in common with denial. The point of intersection is simple-We WANT to believe.
We know when something is “off”; maybe we can’t see it, but we feel it. And we ignore that feeling; we do this when watching a magic show as the illusion entertains us. We collude with the magicians on stage. We want to be fooled. Just for a while we want to believe in magic! We know the woman is … Read More... “Do you Believe in Magic?”
The “golden years” may not be so “golden” for those couples who choose to part ways later in life. According to researchers, even though divorce rates in general seem to be stabilizing, the divorce rate among the “baby boomer” generation continues to increase.
This trend is proving to have a disproportionately negative effect on women over 50. Recent studies show that 1 in 5 women over 65 are still working. This number is 2 times higher than it was in the 1980s.
Divorce Later In Life Proving Difficult Financially For Women Over 50
Compared to couples who split when they are young, divorcing later in life is proving to have severe, financial impacts on the older population, particularly women. In a recent study, Claudia Olivetti of Boston College and Dana Rotz of Mathematica Policy Research surveyed 56,000 women and found that in comparison to those who divorce at age 30, women age 50 and above are 10% more likely to be working full-time between the ages of 50-74. It appears that divorcing later in life is pushing these women back to work and is forcing them to delay retirement.