Divorce: Welcome to the Roller Coaster!

How To Ride Out The Roller Coaster Of Emotions During The Pain Of Divorce

divorce

Nothing toys with our emotions like the break-up of a relationship. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross describes the six stages of grief as:

  1. Shock
  2. Denial
  3. Bargaining
  4. Anger
  5. Sadness
  6. Acceptance

When one is going through divorce, add another feeling: FEAR.   During divorce, it is possible to feel all of these things at the same time. This deluge of emotions can complicate how the person sees, thinks and feels about the issues thus distorting their perspective when faced with a mountain of decisions.

In contrast to the above list, here are a few more (sometimes surprising) feelings people going through divorce may experience:

  • Relief
  • Joy
  • Empowerment
  • Exhilaration
  • Freedom

“Am I going crazy? How can I feel all these things, many of them conflicting at the same time?” divorcing clients often ask. No, you are not going crazy. You are going through transition. Your life is changing. A transformation is occurring. These feelings are normal.

Your feelings will change frequently, sometimes in a day, sometimes in a matter of minutes. Think of the process as a roller coaster of emotions that starts out with really, really deep lows and hardly any … Read More... “Divorce: Welcome to the Roller Coaster!”

Divorce: Time to File Now and Attempt Negotiations Later!

Four Common Reasons Why A Spouse Will Initiate A Divorce

divorceIn the arena of family law, also known as domestic relations law, there are occasions when negotiations take place with the hope that a dissolution of marriage might result or a “non-contested” divorce action might ensue.  These negotiations are intended to achieve settlement of disputed issues and to avoid the very costly and emotionally consuming action of a “contested” divorce.  But, while trying to negotiate settlement of certain issues, there are times when it becomes apparent that a divorce proceeding must be filed forthwith.  This article shall address those times when it is imperative to end negotiations and file the Complaint for Divorce.  I shall address common fact-situations that should trigger the filing of a divorce proceeding:

  1. The primary causative reason to file a Complaint for Divorce is when you have a situation with a very financially advantaged spouse (with high income) and a financially disadvantaged spouse (with little to no income).  With these circumstances, it might be necessary to initiate the divorce proceeding in order to get a temporary order of spousal support and/or child support.  If the party with the high income decides to stop paying bills
Read More... “Divorce: Time to File Now and Attempt Negotiations Later!”

Divorce: 25 Details Often Overlooked in Negotiations!

Two Founding Members Of The International Academy of Attorneys for Divorce over 50 Compile Their List!

divorceAttorney Mark Chinn of Jacksonville, Mississippi, caught my attention with a divorce post to his family law blog about some items that are frequently forgotten in many divorce agreements. Mark is the author of three American Bar Association books about family law issues and is a frequent writer and lecturer in the field of family law. In addition to these accomplishments, we are both founding members of the International Academy of Attorneys for Divorce over 50, established in 2010.

The first eleven in the divorce list were Mark’s, the rest were some that I have added.

  1. Garage door openers
  2. Gate remote controls
  3. Extra keys to car and house
  4. Security codes
  5. Hotel credit card and airline points
  6. Utility and other deposits
  7. Tax and insurance escrows
  8. Car tag credits
  9. Overdrafts on joint checking accounts
  10. Dates to carry through insurance coverages
  11. Attorney’s fees paid with joint funds
  12. Real estate escrow account refunds
  13. Important days not addressed in the Court’s Parenting  Time Order
  14. Season ticket rights
  15. Country club membership and club access
  16. Storage unit details
  17. Dividing and copying family photos
  18. Copying documents, pictures and files from the
Read More... “Divorce: 25 Details Often Overlooked in Negotiations!”

AlcohoIism And Chemical Dependency: Special Dilemmas In Family Law Cases

drug_al.jpgAlcoholism is defined by Webster’s New World Dictionary as “the habitual drinking of alcoholic liquor, or as a resulting diseased condition”. It is also defined as a chronic and progressive illness characterized by physiological and psychological dependency upon the ingestion of alcohol; a loss of control over drinking, including when, and in what form, how much, and why; and interference with normal functioning in one or all such areas such as family, work, friendship, and community activity.

Chemical Dependency can be defined as alcoholism is above…..but it is a chronic and progressive illness characterized by a physical and psychological dependency upon the ingestion of legal or illegal mood altering drugs; a loss of control over the ingestion of the drugs, including when, and in what form, how much, and why; and interference with normal functioning in one or all such areas such as family, work, friendship, and community activity.

Are families in domestic relations matters impacted by these diseases?

Absolutely. I practiced mental health/chemical dependency nursing for a number of years before entering law school, so I am very attuned to alcohol/chemical dependency issues. While I have not conducted any research over the past twenty-two (22) years of my legal … Read More... “AlcohoIism And Chemical Dependency: Special Dilemmas In Family Law Cases”

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