Kids: Biggest Threat to Your Marriage

Dayton, Ohio, Psychologist Explains 3 Key Things to Keep Couples Happy

dayton ohio marriage kids biggest threatThe birth of your first child is not only an event to be cherished but a stage of life to be feared. Children represent a severe threat to your relationship with your spouse.

Kids have a negative impact on most marriages. Research has clearly documented that marital tension and arguments increase significantly after the birth of your first child. Marital satisfaction declines as parents grapple with the dilemma of trying to raise a child while working, being a good spouse, and maintaining some sense of individual identity.

These negative effects are not inevitable, according to research published by Alyson Shapiro and John Gottman in the 2005 Journal of Family Communications. By studying the one-third of marriages that do well in spite of children, these researchers were able to identify the three key things done by happy couples.

The 3 Key Things to Keep Couples Happy:

  1. Stay friends.  Marriages survive and flourish when partners stay best friends with each other. This isn’t easy once you take on the intense and never-ending responsibilities of parenthood. There are many times when children must be our first priority, resulting in placing the needs
Read More... “Kids: Biggest Threat to Your Marriage”

Divorce: Top Ten “Things To Do” After

Top Ten List of “Things To Do” Following a Divorce Proceeding!

Divorce Things To dp afterSimilar to David Letterman’s Top Ten Lists, many family blog sites have postings regarding the top ten “Things to Do” following a divorce proceeding. This is my list of priority items to accomplish after the filing of the Final Judgment and Decree of Divorce.

TOP 10 THINGS TO DO “AFTER” A DIVORCE 

Number 1: Read, study, examine, and explore the terms of your Final Decree. Make a list of those things Husband is to do and a list of those items Wife is to do. No one is available to “police” the terms of your Final Decree. If you do not receive a lump sum payment or if you do not receive the title to the car you are driving, or if you do not receive your share of the other spouse’s retirement benefits, no one knows that until or unless you bring it to the attention of your counsel and the Court. Your counsel can then write letters to the opposing counsel to determine if compliance shall be forthcoming or if a Motion to Show Cause is appropriate.

Number 2: Take steps to establish a workable budget. … Read More... “Divorce: Top Ten “Things To Do” After”

The War of the Wives: Is it Time to Disarm?

divorce ex-wife step-wife disarmNo relationship is more maligned in our culture than that of first wives and second wives. While we make fun of mother-in-laws, many admit to having wonderful fulfilling relationships with their M-I-L. Not so with the “Ex” and the “Next”. Judged as guilty before even tried, these women are pitted against each other by circumstance. Stereotypes abound; the first wife was a “crazy nagging bitch” and the second one “a cheap slut”!

Unfortunately, these stereotypes often eclipse the potential for a positive relationship; these women are preprogrammed not to like each other by societal misconceptions. In truth, had these women met under different circumstances they might have been friends. Yes, I know there are situations when “friendship” is impossible: for example, when the second wife was once your “best friend” and slept with your then-husband or the first wife is out of control with rage and is stalking you. We have all heard many horror stories. Movies and sitcoms and, sadly, daily news reports are filled of the misdeeds of both women.  But must we assume that a healthy caring relationship between these two is not possible? How about, at the very least, mutual respect?  If there are children from … Read More... “The War of the Wives: Is it Time to Disarm?”

Parenting Time Suspension for Bad Behavior

Parenting Time Suspension can occur when a parent’s bad behavior gets in the way of the child’s best interest.

Parenting Time in dayton ohio

“Children must be considered in a divorce, considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.” – P.J. O’Rourke

The truthfulness of O’Rourke’s statement cannot be more evident. Children going through a divorce are often caught in the middle of two parents at war. They can be fighting about money, parenting time, adultery committed, or even about why the toilet seat was once again left up. Although this fighting in and of itself can be a traumatic time for a child caught in the middle, the worst of the fighting results when a parent uses his or her children to hurt the other parent.

In a case in Montgomery County, Ohio, recently affirmed by the Second District Court of Appeals, the Court decided that it was time to show parents that bad behavior can result in a suspension of parenting time.

Thomas Gisslen had his parenting time suspended when the Courts determined his behavior resulted in a traumatic experience for his children. Mr. Gisslen became involved with the Courts in 2007 when he filed for … Read More... “Parenting Time Suspension for Bad Behavior”

Grandparenting Styles: Taking the Quiz

Grandparenting Styles: Impressions By a Dayton, Ohio, Divorce Lawyer

Grandparenting Styles in Dayton OhioIt was truly a memorable Christmas. In the past we have usually managed to get the “family” together in Dayton, Ohio. But this year I locked the door of my law office; and my wife and I flew to Dallas to be with our son, daughter-in-law and our first grandchild – Hannah. We were fortunate enough to have been able to travel from Dayton, Ohio, to Texas to be in the hospital when Hannah was born five (5) months or so ago, but we haven’t visited in person since.

I wish we lived closer. Dayton and Dallas are a long way apart. Being proud parents (and now grandparents) we are thankful for all the photos, videos and texts we have received showing Hannah’s growth, almost on a daily basis. Hannah’s Mom and Dad have great jobs and have established a wonderful life there together. They are very happy!

Being a divorce lawyer who likes to be totally prepared, as well as a compulsive researcher, I figured that I needed to update my parenting knowledge base since my two (2) sons are now thirtyish and my baby caring skills are pretty rusty. … Read More... “Grandparenting Styles: Taking the Quiz”

Postnuptial Agreements — Are they Valid in Ohio?

PUBLISHER’S NOTE:

Finally Ohio has joined 48 other states and is now permitting postnuptial agreements to be executed and recognized. This is extremely significant news for married couples in Ohio! Click the following blog articles about this law change. Also, please see our new Postnuptial Agreements help page by clicking here.

Did not make a Prenuptial Agreement, Are Postnuptial Agreements allowed?

postnuptial agreements in ohioI am often asked whether a couple that never got around to executing an antenuptial (or prenuptial) agreement before they got married can execute a postnuptial agreement after the marriage ceremony. The answer varies greatly from state to state, and it is important to get an answer from an advisor familiar with the laws of the state in which the couple is residing.

Does Ohio Allow  Postnuptial AgreementS?

In Ohio, the answer is clearly “no”. This goes back to the concept in Ohio that a husband and wife have a duty to support each other. In furtherance of this notion, Ohio statutory law specifically states that a husband and wife cannot alter their legal relations with each … Read More... “Postnuptial Agreements — Are they Valid in Ohio?”

Divorce and The Christmas Story

Reconciling Divorce with the Holidays

How The Christmas Story relates to Divorce

divorce and the story of christmasMany of us associate the holidays with certain fond memories or warm feelings. It’s a time of year when many people make an extra effort to get together with family and friends. We often reconnect with relatives, spend extra time with our children, open presents, share great meals, sit around a fireplace, laugh, return gifts, watch football, nap, and hopefully get to see it snow.

Whether we attend church regularly or not, statistics show that the majority of us also make sure to attend a church service at Christmas time. During most Christmas services we sing hymns and carols, light candles, smile and say hello to lots of people we may not know, and we are reminded of the “reason for the season”…the birth of Christ, or The Christmas Story as we sometimes call it.

The Christmas Story.

When we hear those words, I am sure that many images quickly come to mind. First and foremost was the star of the show, baby Jesus himself. We are told that his mother wrapped him in “swaddling clothes” and laid him in a manger because there was no room for … Read More... “Divorce and The Christmas Story”

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