How Does The Coronavirus (COVID-19) Affect Divorce And Domestic Relations In Ohio Courts?
Ohio is under a state of emergency declared by Governor DeWine. Life will be very different for all of us for the foreseeable future. The ramifications of the viral nightmare are significant and changing by the hour. Not only do we need to practice social distancing but schools are closed – jobs and business are changing and many being lost.
While not trying to be glum, there are huge consequences for divorced individuals with shared parenting or other parenting schedules. In addition, divorce courts now generally have skeleton staffing in place and are only holding only emergency type hearings/trials such as on Domestic Protection Order matters. Further, there is really no caselaw or precedent that Judges and lawyers can cite that is instructive as to how Court’s will likely deal with Coronavirus related parenting disputes.
3 PARENTING TIPS DURING THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC:
Communicate More with Your Ex-Spouse: No matter how cordial your communications have been with your Ex, now is the time that you BOTH need to improve them and minimize any squabbling. Remember that the most important priority is focusing on maintaining your health and
The 50 people charged In Varsity Blue Scandal Practiced Snowplow Parenting
Overparenting Styles: Helicopter Vs. Snowplow. Which Parenting Style Are You?
The helicopter parent is the one who hovers over their child, worrying about all the horrible things that could happen to them. They try to monitor their child’s activities and warn them of dangers lurking ahead. In contrast the snowplow parent works hard to clear any thing in the way of their child’s success. They work hard to be sure their child does not encounter frustrating life experiences or have to deal with failures.
This type of parenting has definitely been in the spotlight with the college bribery scandal that has rocked the news. In this investigation dubbed Operation Varsity Blue, the 50 people charged were acting as snowplows. They were shielding their children from any of the risks, difficulties and possible failure of the process of attending prestigious colleges. Basically they forged ahead as a snowplow would, clearing the path ahead. Some of the allegations were bribing SAT proctors and paying university coaches to make sure their child was accepted to the college of their choice. Most of these parents took painful measures to ensure their child would … Read More... “Parenting Styles: Helicopter Versus Snowplow Parenting. [Trouble Ahead?]”
When it comes to raising happy children, some parenting approaches are more effective than others. Well adjusted and happy adults tend to be raised by parents who were caring and engaged, but also set and enforce high expectations for behavior.
A research study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology by Mai Stafford and her colleagues assessed the relationship between parental behaviors and youth well-being beginning when the kids were teens and conducted follow-up assessments when the youth were 36 and 43 years of age.
It’s difficult to conduct research over 30 years, but these scientists discovered a clear relationship between what parents did when their kids were young, and how they turned out as adults. Effective parents had two characteristics.
First, they were attentive and engaged in their children’s lives. They praised their children, were affectionate, and showed a genuine interest in their activities.
There was an open expression of feelings in these families and mutual communication. This isn’t a surprising result. Love matters.
Second, effective parents had a somewhat authoritative parenting style.
Parents Ineffective Style Can Be Damaging To Raising Children
In addition to collecting baseball cards, I started writing down favorite quotes when I was in elementary school. My mom “cleaned out” (i.e., threw away) my cards when I went to college, but I’ve continued to collect the inspirational perspectives from others.
My collection has changed over the years. I’ve deleted “feel good” quotes that didn’t make any sense. Peter Pan’s admonition that “Anything is possible if you wish hard enough” falls into that category. Here are some of my favorites.
“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.” (William Ward) Our happiness is less dependent upon what happens to us, and more related to how we adjust to minor frustrations and serious traumas. Therapy is about learning how to “adjust the sails” to deal with life.
“Sometimes you never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” (Dr. Seuss) Many parents feel overwhelmed by the challenges of getting through the day, and fail to appreciate the fleeting joys of family life. I encourage families, both parents and children, to take a few moments to reflect upon the many good things they experience every day.
Parenting is not what you expected. Children are not the joy you anticipated. You’ve turned into the type of parent you vowed you’d never become.
What went wrong?
Perhaps this is related to your expectations. You had such high hopes for what it was going to be like to raise children. In an environment of love and acceptance, you knew that children would respond with kindness and affection. You put your children as your highest priority, ahead of your own interests and even before the relationship with your spouse.
In return for that passionate commitment, you expected to be around children who were generally well behaved, creative, sensitive, bright and engaging. While your kids sometimes act those ways, they are typically self-absorbed, insensitive and even mean-spirited. Completing simple chores become battles. For all that you have given them and for all of your sacrifices, why the heck can’t they just take out the trash once a week? Your kids don’t do as they are told, and it really doesn’t seem to matter what effect this has on you and your spouse.