Emotional Health Archives - Page 7 of 16

Blast From The Past: Don’t Create Halloween Horrors for your Child!

PUBLISHERS NOTE: “Halloween can be very tricky for divorced parents. Here is some great advice from Psychotherapist Donna Ferber from way back in 2010. If you enjoy this article, you would love her book, “From Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life: A Woman’s Journey Through Divorce” available on Amazon and Kindle. Also, check out her website, www.DonnaFerber.com.”

Make Your Child’s Halloween A Positive Experience Post Divorce

For many kids, Halloween is one of the most important holidays of the year. The child of divorce is faced with choices and concerns. Who will take me treat-or-treating? Who will get my costume and dress me? Where will I trick-or-treat?

Then, of course, there logistical problems for the divorced parents. By addressing these issues in advance, parents can reduce stress and not distract from the child’s positive experience. These include:

In two-parent homes, often one parent gives out candy while the other parent takes the child trick-or-treating. Now there is only one parent in the home. Do you stay and give out candy or do you go with your child?
Parents often do not specify in their divorce decree who “gets” the child on October 31. If it falls on a visitation day, some

Divorce Study: Is There Support for The “Mars versus Venus” Theory?

emotional support informational support study

New Study Examines Differences Between Informational Support and Emotional Support

When John Gray wrote Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, his primary message was that in relationships men are usually the problem solvers and women are usually the ones wanting more empathy and understanding. Many therapists were critical of Gray’s book written in 1992, citing lack of research for his conclusions about gender differences. However, studies about the differences between informational support and emotional support conducted by University of Maryland and Wyoming psychologists Lorenzo, Barry and Khalifian, support John Gray’s theory. Click here to read the study.

In their published report, the psychologists studied 114 couples female/male who were newlywed and in their first marriage. They were studying the differences between two types of support, emotional support and informational support. They were examining the type of support preferred by an individual vs. the support type he or she received to see how overproviding or underproviding of the two types of support affected the happiness of the individual in the marriage.

Study Reveals Emotional Support Preferred By Both Parties

The study found that men lean towards providing informational advice by trying to problem solve while women often … Read More... “Divorce Study: Is There Support for The “Mars versus Venus” Theory?”

Divorce: New Sesame Street Videos Help Kids Deal with Trauma

For decades, Sesame Street has played on TV’s across the country, teaching children their ABC’s and 123’s, while also broadening their vocabulary, and increasing other academic skills. But now, Sesame Street is focused on another issue: helping children cope with traumatic experiences.

Children and Traumatic Experiences

A study conducted in 2016 found that nearly half of the children in the United States have experienced at least one traumatic or stressful event, including the death of a loved one, abuse, and divorce. The study also found that 1 in 5 of these children has experienced these events on more than one occasion. Click here to read the study.

How Can Sesame Street Help Children With Traumatic Experiences?

Children who experience traumatic experiences are more likely to develop posttraumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and even substance abuse. Early exposure to traumatic events affects the neurodevelopment of a child, which changes the way that they respond to stress and other experiences. According to the Department of Psychiatry at Saint Vincent’s Hospital in New York, “exposure to trauma also affects children’s ability to regulate, identify, and express emotions, and may have a negative effect on the way that a child views … Read More... “Divorce: New Sesame Street Videos Help Kids Deal with Trauma”

Blast From The Past: Strategies to Make Your Christmas Less Stressful

Blast from the past 13 years Ohio Family Law Blog

Publisher’s Comment: This “Blast from the Past” comes from Psychotherapist Donna F. Ferber. She was kind enough to share this article with us 8 years ago. Excellent advice then and now from Donna!

If this is your first Christmas since the separation and divorce, the anticipation can fill you with sadness and trepidation. Here are some solid, easy tips to help make the holidays less painful and hopefully, maybe, even (surprisingly!) enjoyable!

Let go of traditions that no longer work for you. This is an opportunity to re-invent your holidays. Keep the traditions that you enjoy and get rid of the ones that you don’t. No one expects you to be on your best behavior during this time, so you can probably pull it off without anyone getting too upset.

Stick to your regular routine as closely as possible. Sleep, exercise, eat well and don’t skip those therapy appointments.

Don’t use money, alcohol, food, or sex to deal with pain and sadness. These indulgences will leave you poor, hung over, fat, and guilty on December 26th.

Don’t be afraid to do something different. Go away or stay home, but take a risk to use the holidays to try something … Read More... “Blast From The Past: Strategies to Make Your Christmas Less Stressful”

Dealing with the Holidays if You Are in Divorce Transition…

college girl sitting on leaves in yard with hands raised

PUBLISHER’S NOTE Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC is a psychotherapist in private practice for 30 years in Farmington, Connecticut. She is a licensed professional counselor, a licensed alcohol and drug abuse counselor and an educator. In her private practice, Donna specializes in issues related to life transitions. These include but are not limited to divorce, remarriage, chronic illness, loss, relocation. Donna has been a guest contributor to the Ohio Family Law Blog since 2010. We have enjoyed collaborating on several articles over the years.

Every major life event, whether joyful or sad, brings on a period of transition as we adjust to the “new normal.” Even though these periods of transition occur throughout our lives, each requires us to discover a new and unique path as we struggle to move through uncharted waters. The death of a loved one, a divorce, a family estrangement, an illness, or sudden unemployment are some of the changes that shake us to our core. We are challenged in ways we could not imagine.

And in the midst of all this upheaval, the leaves are beginning to turn and the temperatures drop. So, we pack away our sandals and shorts and find ourselves dealing with … Read More... “Dealing with the Holidays if You Are in Divorce Transition…”

Do you Believe in Magic?

magic believe Some weeks ago, I tuned into an NPR radio interview with Penn and Teller, those amazing magicians/entertainers who have for decades defied logic and fooled us with their brilliant illusions.

What caught my interest was the oddity of the interview. The dynamic duo of Penn and Teller were being interviewed separately. This intrigued me as I wondered how NPR would handle empty radio air space if the usually silent Raymond Teller continued to be mute.

Luckily, he did not. And among the thought provoking things he had to say was this, “Nothing fools you better than the lie you tell yourself.” Of course, he was talking about magic. But I was thinking about denial. It never occurred to me before that moment that magic has so much in common with denial. The point of intersection is simple-We WANT to believe.

We know when something is “off”; maybe we can’t see it, but we feel it. And we ignore that feeling; we do this when watching a magic show as the illusion entertains us. We collude with the magicians on stage. We want to be fooled. Just for a while we want to believe in magic! We know the woman is … Read More... “Do you Believe in Magic?”

Divorce Research Shows Children Suffer No Real, Long-Term Effects of Divorce

Important Steps Parents Can Take To Minimize Negative Side-Effects Of Divorce For Their Children

divorce Divorce can be earth-shattering for everyone, but arguably no one suffers more than the children involved. That being said, while divorce has proven to have devastating impact on these young people at the time, some research now suggests that these children do not experience long-term side-effects.

In an article in Scientific American Mind, authors Hal Arkowitz and Scott O. Lilienfeld acknowledge that while divorce is often extremely trying for children, studies show that as these children become adults, few experience lasting, serious effects.

While the divorce is occurring, and even in the period following, it is typical for kids to experience anxiety, anger, depression, shock, etc. However, Arkowitz and Lilienfeld argue that all of these negative effects are short-lived. In support of this, they point to a study conducted by sociologist, Paul R. Amato. Amato’s research followed kids whose parents divorced during childhood, into their adolescence and teenage years. He then compared those children to others whose family remained intact. The results showed that there were relatively few differences between the two groups of children. Ultimately, those with divorced parents typically recovered quickly and handled … Read More... “Divorce Research Shows Children Suffer No Real, Long-Term Effects of Divorce”

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