PUBLISHERS NOTE: While this advice by Dr. Ramey was geared towards kids, I think it also applies to adults going through “tough times” like a divorce. What do you think?
Should We Protect Our Kids From Life’s Tough Times Or Should We Only Help Them?
Bad stuff happens to our kids every day. Wise parents don’t go to extraordinary means to protect kids from life, but rather they help their children manage minor frustrations or major traumas. These are the ways I approach these kids in my office.
- This will pass. Youngsters often think that the intense emotional pain they feel today will continue forever. Adults know that both good and bad times are transitory. It’s hard to explain that to kids, who may feel that you are discounting their feelings.
- Avoid mis attribution. In trying to make sense of their parents’ divorce or being rejected from a basketball team, youngsters often come up with some very weird and inaccurate explanations. They may blame themselves or some irrelevant or random event. It’s difficult for kids to understand that the reasons why things occur are often unknown, and unknowable.
- Get on with your life. People come to my office wanting to