How Does a Trial Separation Work?

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Trial Separation In Ohio Explained. Seek Experienced Divorce Lawyer For Input And Counseling Tips

trial separation legal separations counseling experienced divorce lawyerSeveral weeks ago, I explained the characteristics of what a legal separation is in Ohio. Click here to read that post. Today, I will share some of my thoughts about a “trial separation” – which is an informal agreement for 2 people to live apart. Essentially, it is an experiment in living apart. During this time the parties of course remain married, but live apart. A party may move back home, in with a friend, or rent an apartment.

This arrangement is typically done for one or both parties to have space apart to evaluate their feelings towards each other, their long term goals and overall compatibility. In addition, many parties may choose to separate before filing for a legal separation or a divorce. Some parties agree up front to a time period for the separation, while others don’t. I have seen trial separations that last from hours to ones that last for years.

Can Trial Separations Involve A Court Order?

Trial separations typically do not involve a Court Order. A written separation agreement is not mandated under Ohio law but having one may be smart. … Read More... “How Does a Trial Separation Work?”

Are You and Your Spouse Continually Fighting Over Money?

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Financial Counseling Could Save Your Marriage

Fighting Over Money Issues Can Lead To Divorce According To Studies. Is Financial Counseling The Answer?

Many couples tend to argue and fight over money and other financial issues. According to many studies, fighting over money issues is one of the top 3 reasons couples end up divorcing. Those arguments can be about a myriad of “money” issues including:

  1. Spending and Savings habits
  2. Whose money is Whose?
  3. Who is in Control?
  4. The Value of Budgeting
  5. Past, Present and Future Debts

Financial Counseling To The Rescue?

As a lawyer primarily focusing on divorce work for over 40 years, I can tell you that I see the “marriage casualties” everyday which excessive debt accumulation and living over one’s means can cause. Research from TD Ameritrade shows that people would rather discuss sex, politics (and about everything else), before money and financial issues. Even when the couples have gone through pre-marriage counseling, money issues can swamp the parties often causing divorce. So, what do you do if you find yourself in this situation?

Recently, I have noticed a fairly new trend to offer folks financial therapy or counseling. Have you heard of the Financial Therapy Association (FTA)? … Read More... “Are You and Your Spouse Continually Fighting Over Money?”

Update Flash: Looking for Therapists in Southwest Ohio Experienced in High Conflict Divorce/Custody Matters?

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PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Five years ago, we posted an article about the The Counseling and Cooperative Parenting Center of Ohio, LLC, also known as “CCPC – Ohio”. It seemed long overdue that we post an update on this wonderful resource for families with children having been involved in a high conflict divorce case. Click here, to read our initial article about this Center from April 12, 2014. Brenda Patton, the owner and director of the Center, was kind enough to provide me an interview to discuss the evolution of CCPC. Southwest Ohio is certainly fortunate to have this resource!

SO, WHAT IS A HIGH CONFLICT DIVORCE CASE?

high conflict divorce ccpcMs. Patton defined it as being cases that have a “revolving door” relationship with the Domestic Relations Courts. They are the cases that are never resolved or settled.  Months and/or years after divorce has been finalized, the parties are still returning to Court to resolve unsettled issues relating to support, visitation, selection of schools, selection of treating physicians, payment of medical expenses, payment of extracurricular expenses, etc.

These cases often involve multiple motions to find one party to be in contempt of court for failure to abide by the terms of the original … Read More... “Update Flash: Looking for Therapists in Southwest Ohio Experienced in High Conflict Divorce/Custody Matters?”

Are Divorce Lawyers Just “Love Undertakers”? [A Rebuttal]

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Divorce Lawyers Should Not Assist Clients With Mental Health Issues Says NYC Attorney

divorce lawyers love undertakersA well respected New York City divorce lawyer by the name of Val Kleyman recently sent out a newswire to divorce lawyers warning them “to be careful not to cross over into the role of personal therapist for clients. This is a common problem that does not get enough attention” Attorney Kleyman said. He added, “helping someone deal with their emotions, feelings and mental health is a very serious undertaking and must only be done by professionals who are trained and experienced doing this.”

While I agree with most of that, here is the point he made that hit me hard. “Divorce lawyers are the love undertakers. Unlike marriage counselors and therapists whose job it is to save relationships and help people heal, our job is to bury dead marriages quickly and efficiently before their toxicity spreads any further,” says Kleyman.

WOW, I have to disagree with Attorney Kleyman a bit on this one.  This seems far too limited of a view of our role as a divorce lawyer in my opinion.  I have been practicing family law and divorce work in Dayton, Ohio for 40 years. … Read More... “Are Divorce Lawyers Just “Love Undertakers”? [A Rebuttal]”

Should I Hire a Psychologist During a Divorce?

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How To Pick The Right Psychologist During Divorce If Therapy Is The Right Choice For You

Psychologist divorce therapyWhen you decide it’s time to see a psychologist, the array of options out there may be a little daunting at first. To narrow this list of psychologists down, the American Psychological Association has put together a guide to make sure you choose the right psychologist for you.

First, you should evaluate whether therapy is right for you. Reasons to go to therapy include prolonged periods of feeling helpless, inability to do daily activities, excessive worrying, or harmful actions that hurt not just yourself, but others around you. Any of these reasons may be a good reason to go to therapy, but this list is far from exhaustive. Other reasons can facilitate the need for therapy, such as a major life change, lack of change, or trauma. Major life changes can include divorce or separation from your partner, so it’s good to have a psychologist to help you understand and process the myriad of emotions you’re sure to be feeling.

Next, you should take steps to find a psychologist. This can be done a few different ways. You can ask your primary … Read More... “Should I Hire a Psychologist During a Divorce?”

Divorce: Addressing High Conflict Cases – Tips and Strategies

High Conflict Divorce Tied With High Conflict Personalities According To Therapists

divorceOn March 24th, 2014, I traveled from Dayton, Ohio to Mason, Ohio to interview Brenda Patton, Therapist, Parenting Coordinator, and Mediator for The Counseling and Cooperative Parenting Center of Ohio, LLC, also known as “CCPC – Ohio”.  Initially, I was interested in interviewing a spokesperson of this Parenting Center as they were a “private” entity providing supervised visitation or supervised parenting time for families in Montgomery, Warren, and Hamilton Counties. When I learned that the service of supervised visitation had been discontinued in July 2013, I explored other topics of interest. When Ms. Patton advised me that the Center was interested in working with “high conflict” divorce matters, my interest was piqued.

What is a “high conflict” divorce matter?  Ms. Patton defined it as being cases that have a “revolving door” relationship with the Domestic Relations Courts. They are the cases that are never resolved or settled.  Months and/or years after divorce has been finalized, the parties are still returning to Court to resolve unsettled issues relating to support, visitation, selection of schools, selection of treating physicians, payment of medical expenses, payment of extracurricular expenses, etc. These cases often … Read More... “Divorce: Addressing High Conflict Cases – Tips and Strategies”