Blast From The Past: Thoughts about Your Divorce Day

divorce day

PUBLISHERS NOTE: Here is a classic from Connecticut Psychotherapist Donna Ferber, first published on the Ohio Family Law Blog on July 10, 2010. Her advice about surviving your final divorce court date is still right on target! Also, check her books and her website out at www.DonnaFerber.com

Survival Tips For Preparing For Your Day In Divorce Court

divorce dayJust as each marriage is unique, so is each divorce. Your reaction to the final legal decree will vary from that of others going through this process. Your feelings will be based on your own special circumstances and will depend upon a number of factors:

  • How reconciled you are to the divorce.
  • How much time has passed between the filing of the original papers and the final day.
  • How much acrimony still exists with your spouse.
  • How much rebuilding of your own life you have already done.

Divorce Day can bring about a myriad of feelings, ranging from extreme sadness to exuberant joy to calm indifference. By knowing yourself and your own feelings about your situation, you can predict, to some degree, how you will feel.

Here are some tips for preparing for your day in divorce court:

  • Make a trial run
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Blast From The Past: Divorce: Dividing Property, Assets & Debts in Ohio

Blast from the past 13 years Ohio Family Law Blog

Property Division: Dividing Property, Assets & Debts in Ohio

PUBLISHER’S NOTE: I thought this basic primer was worth posting once again especially now that we are at the start of “divorce season”. Division of debts and assets in a divorce is not always a simple or cookie cutter process.”

Property Division in Ohio Can Be Complicated In Marriage Breakup – Hire A Experienced Divorce Lawyer Early

property division divorceDepending upon the issues in a marriage breakup, dividing assets and debts is usually a preliminary topic of conversation.  This can be a complex and lengthy discussion depending upon the nature of the assets, length of the marriage, and title of the property. The first aspect of analyzing how the court may divide property pertains to whether or not the property was acquired before or after the date of marriage. If the property is separate pre-marital property, that property would remain the property of the initial owner and would not be subject to division.

In Ohio, property acquired during the term of the marriage is generally divided “equitably”.  While the courts in Ohio strive to create a fair property division, this may not always lead to a 50/50 equal distribution. But, … Read More... “Blast From The Past: Divorce: Dividing Property, Assets & Debts in Ohio”

Blast From The Past: Holidays: Just Say No And Feel Empowered!

Blast from the past 13 years Ohio Family Law Blog

Holidays Got Your Down?

PUBLISHERS NOTE: “Congratulations! We all made it through Thanksgiving. So, the mad dash of the holiday season is officially upon us. This sage advice from psychotherapist, Donna F. Ferber, from 2013 warrants a repost. Take a breath. Slow down. And just say “no”.”

A Guide to Happier Holidays: Replace HO–HO-HO with NO-NO-NO!

holidaysWell, the holiday hoopla is ramping up. Displays of sparkly red and green stuff has taken center stage in our stores, catalogues are arriving in droves, internet sites are offering deals, discounts and sales on every imaginable product. Magazines at the grocery checkout display unbelievable glossy covers of gorgeous people, in gorgeous houses, serving gorgeous food. Now with the sudden drop in temperature and the promise of snow this week, the reality that the holidays are descending on us is unavoidable.

It feels impossible to slow this down or simply get a grip. It is like being swept up in some tinselly tidal wave. I don’t want to shop yet; I still am cleaning out the garden! Yet, as the heat clicks on, and my sweaters and even gloves begin to take center stage, it cannot be denied. Here comes the holidaysRead More... “Blast From The Past: Holidays: Just Say No And Feel Empowered!”

Blast From The Past: Don’t Create Halloween Horrors for your Child!

halloween divorce

PUBLISHERS NOTE: “Halloween can be very tricky for divorced parents. Here is some great advice from Psychotherapist Donna Ferber from way back in 2010. If you enjoy this article, you would love her book, “From Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life: A Woman’s Journey Through Divorce” available on Amazon and Kindle. Also, check out her website, www.DonnaFerber.com.”

Make Your Child’s Halloween A Positive Experience Post Divorce

halloween divorceFor many kids, Halloween is one of the most important holidays of the year. The child of divorce is faced with choices and concerns. Who will take me treat-or-treating? Who will get my costume and dress me? Where will I trick-or-treat?

Then, of course, there logistical problems for the divorced parents. By addressing these issues in advance, parents can reduce stress and not distract from the child’s positive experience. These include:

  • In two-parent homes, often one parent gives out candy while the other parent takes the child trick-or-treating. Now there is only one parent in the home. Do you stay and give out candy or do you go with your child?
  • Parents often do not specify in their divorce decree who “gets” the child on October 31. If it falls on a visitation day, some
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Blast From The Past: In Camera Interview of Children in Divorce Court

Blast from the past 13 years Ohio Family Law Blog

PUBLISHER’S NOTE: “Here is a good article on in camera interview by Attorney Anne Shale from 2008. Nothing has really changed in 10 years about this interview process for the Court to obtain insights about the child’s wishes in a contested custody or parenting time case. All this is geared towards figuring the “best interest” of the child.”

Should You Let Your Child Participate In An In Camera Interview?

Camera Interview Children

What is an in camera interview?

The phrase “in camera” is a Latin term defined in Black’s Law Dictionary as: “In chambers; in private.”  The interview does not involve a camera or a videotape at all!  If a party is asking for the Court to have an in camera interview of a minor child, the request is for the Judge or Magistrate to interview the minor child privately with neither parent or his/her attorney being present.  An Appellate Court in Michigan said it very well years ago . . .

“A child custody determination is much more difficult and subtle than an arithmetical computation of factors.  It is one of the most demanding undertakings of a trial judge, one in which he must not only listen to what is said

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Blast From The Past: The Role and Functions of a Guardian ad Litem in the State of Ohio

Blast from the past 13 years Ohio Family Law Blog

What exactly is the role of a Guardian ad Litem In the State Of Ohio?

PUBLISHER’S NOTE: “Over the years this GAL post has received a lot of interest. Confusion is commonplace for parents about the purpose of a Guardian ad Litem and how the process works. Let us know if you have any GAL issues in Dayton or Southwest Ohio.”

What is a Guardian ad Litem?

Guardian ad LitemA Guardian ad Litem (“GAL”) is usually a lawyer appointed by the Court to appear in a lawsuit on behalf of an incompetent or minor party. In Juvenile Court cases and Domestic Relations cases, the Guardian ad Litem is appointed on behalf of a minor child or minor children in custody, visitation, and/or other disputed child-related issues.

What does the Guardian ad Litem do?

The Guardian ad Litem is appointed by the Court to undertake an investigation of custody issues, visitation issues, and other parenting issues before the Court. The Guardian ad Litem is expected to meet with each parent individually and to meet with each parent and the child or children to be able to observe the interaction between each parent and the child or children. The Guardian ad Litem is also … Read More... “Blast From The Past: The Role and Functions of a Guardian ad Litem in the State of Ohio”

Blast From The Past: Shared Parenting Misconceptions in Ohio

Blast from the past 13 years Ohio Family Law Blog

PUBLISHER’S COMMENT: “Confusion still continues about the distinctions between sole custody and shared parenting. An initial consultation typically includes a discussion of this topic if the couple has kids. While shared parenting makes sense in many cases, it sure doesn’t if there has been domestic violence or the parties can’t communicate effectively.”

Previously my colleague, Anne Shale, posted a very informative article laying out the legal distinctions between sole legal custody and shared parenting in Ohio. Here is the link to her article.  Even though it was posted 3 years ago, the information is still correct.  Nonetheless, I think it would be helpful to expand, clarify and shoot down several shared parenting myths.

Shared parenting requires an equal parenting time allocation.

shared parentingNot true.  The hallmark of shared parenting is that both mother and father stand on the same legal footing with respect to custody.  Each are equal legal custodians of their child(ren).  Customarily, there is a provision in the plan that specifies whether mother or father’s city of residence is designated for schooling purposes. But this designation does not carry with it any greater custodial rights.  Under a shared parenting arrangement, the actual parenting time allocation can vary anywhere from … Read More... “Blast From The Past: Shared Parenting Misconceptions in Ohio”

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