Communicating with your kids is all about talking in a way that they will listen, but also listening in a way that they will talk.
Listening isn’t easy, as many parents ignore the Law of Moderation, either talking too much or not saying enough in response to their kids’ comments. If you say nothing, youngsters don’t know if you really understood them. If you respond too aggressively, kids feel like you may be dismissing their concerns. Here are the five keys to effective listening.
- Give your full attention. Conversations with kids often seem to happen at inconvenient times, such as when you just get home from work or are busy with doing something else. Postpone what you are doing and listen to your child, without the distractions of television or your smart phone.
- Ask lots of questions. Many youngsters aren’t sophisticated in clearly articulating their thoughts and feelings. Their words may be imprecise or extreme. Instead of getting upset, ask open-ended questions such as, “Can you tell me more about that?” “How are you thinking about handling this?” or “What happened then?”A statement such as “Don’t you think you could have made a better decision?” isn’t a question but a