Holidays

Holiday Season Tips From A Dayton, Ohio, Psychologist

The holiday season for some families is a time of tension and turmoil rather than peace and celebration. Stop being a victim of past hurts and perceived pressures.

Here’s how to take back the pleasant parts of the holiday season.

1. Slow down and engage in mindful and meaningful activities. There are lots of demands on parents and kids during this time of the year. You may be expected to attend holiday events, community celebrations and parties at work. Some of these are fun and connect us with friends and family. Others are superficial obligations we think we need to fulfill.

   Recognize that time is one of your most important currencies, and how you spend it defines who you are. Most people exaggerate their importance to others and think that all kinds of bad things will happen if they don’t meet others’ expectations.

   Learn to say “no” and stay focused on the important relationships in your life. Develop traditions that have meaning to you and your children, rather than rushing from one holiday event to another.

2. Let go of past hurts, whether they are real or imagined. Your family isn’t perfect,

How to Avoid Manipulation by Family and Friends during the holiday season

And so it begins…The constant jockeying, bargaining, organizing, planning, and fretting that shows up every holiday season as we are bombarded with images of “creating the perfect holiday”. We struggle to meet the needs wishes and expectations (and yes, sometimes, even the demands) of everyone in our lives. Realistically, we know we can’t please everyone (so you got to please yourself…), yet we still go at that long list of “should’s” with the tenacity of a dog with a juicy bone.

Louise Hay, author of You Can Heal Your Life writes that she wishes “should” just be abolished from our language completely! Why such a vehement reaction to this one little word? Because “should,” actually takes away our personal power.  “Should” doesn’t address what we want to do, what we could do, or what we need to do. When we make a decision based on “should” we are making a decision based on guilt. We struggle between what we are programmed to believe and what our own experience tells us is healthy. An example of this is the huge holiday gift giving tradition which over years has … Read More... “Holiday Guilt: The Gift that Keeps on Giving….”