Will I Likely Be Happier After My Divorce?

divorce survey

Positive Outlook Key For Post Divorce Happiness?

divorce surveyI get this question a lot when I meet with my divorce clients. While there is no guaranteed correct answer, there are steps you can take to keep you from becoming paralyzed by the divorce process. From reports I hear from my former clients, the answer to this question is usually “yes”!

I am a bit of a geek when it comes to looking at statistics. I recently saw an article on MovingPastDivorce.comabout a survey that Terry Gaspard commissioned. Terry is a licensed social worker and counselor in Rhode Island. Reading her bio and a recent interview with her by Social Work Guide, she appears very accomplished. Click here to read that interview.

Ms. Gaspard, through her company, recently contacted more than 2,000 people who had been divorced for at least three years. She wanted to probe findings about post-divorce loneliness and fears about meeting new people. Her hope was to produce a survey that might dispel such worries with cold, hard facts. Interestingly, the survey  did reveal a number of statistics she thought were important. While I can’t vouch for her methodology or the validity of the survey results, … Read More... “Will I Likely Be Happier After My Divorce?”

Tips to Reduce The “Shell-Shocked” Phase After a Divorce!

after divorce tips

The Various Stages of Post-Divorce Transition…Once The Initial Shock Wears Off

after divorce tipsI have been doing some reading lately regarding the various stages of post-divorce transition folks go through to compare it with what I have seen as a divorce lawyer over the past 40+ years. The various “expert’s” articles that I have read seem to confirm many of my personal observations.

Generally there are 5 to 7 different phases that psychologists have identified. Just like grief moves through different stages, so do divorced individuals. Like with grief, the stages vary with each person as does the length of each phase. This is understandable since often it is just one party that wants out of the marriage.

In a well-written article by Robert Taibbi, LCSW, posted in Psychology Today on March 11, 2023, titled 6 Stages of Separation or Divorce, the author clearly lays out the various stages of life during and after a divorce. He states that “once the initial shock wears off, many feel shell-shocked for many weeks. It takes about 6-12 months to feel more grounded”. Click here to read this article.

Beware the Calm Before the Stormy 7 Stages of Divorce

Dr. Jamie C. Williamson, … Read More... “Tips to Reduce The “Shell-Shocked” Phase After a Divorce!”

How To Forgive And Let Go After Divorce

forgive let go after divorce

How can I forgive and let go after divorce? The difficult challenges of healing post-divorce

forgive let go after divorceNo matter how you look at it, divorce is painful. Your life (and the lives of your children) are changed forever. And for a time you must face challenge after challenge – a seemingly endless stream of them. Yet you know you must continue to move forward so you persevere and eventually ask yourself the question, “How can I forgive and let go of all the hurt?”

This question is important because it’s at the core of all the pain you’re experiencing over your divorce. It’s also one of the most difficult challenges of healing after divorce because divorce brings with it so many hurts, betrayals, and lost dreams.

So let me walk you through how I help my clients learn how to forgive and let go after divorce.

The first step is to truly understand what forgiveness is.

What is forgiveness?

Simply put, forgiveness is a conscious decision to release your feelings of resentment, hurt, anger, or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you.

What I like about this definition is that it’s all about you. It’s not about waiting … Read More... “How To Forgive And Let Go After Divorce”