The single most dangerous element in living with an abusive man is your denial of the problem. More women are killed by their domestic partners than by the hands of strangers. If your spouse has shown any of the signs or symptoms of being abusive, it is extremely important that you get help. Depending upon the situation, help comes in all forms from seeking counseling to calling the police. The way to find out what intervention is most appropriate for your situation is to call the women’s shelters in your area. Even if you do not need “shelter” in a physical sense, the shelters can provide you with invaluable information anonymously and for free! If you do not have a shelter in your area, chances are the closest big city will have one. All of the shelters have toll-free lines, so it doesn’t matter which one you call. All calls are kept anonymous for your safety. The caseworker at the shelter can assist you in figuring out what you need to do to be safe. Some women feel embarrassed to call the shelters; they believe they should be able to handle it themselves, or their problem is not as bad … Read More... “Divorcing the Abuser”
Divorce As A Medicaid Planning Tool?
Many happily married seniors are facing a previously unthinkable proposition: terminate their marriage or risk losing a majority of their savings to medical expenses, leaving both of them with little savings to enjoy their twilight years, regardless of how well they planned in advance. How can this happen? With medical technology ever improving, allowing us to live longer, most individuals will spend at least a few years in a nursing or retirement facility during our lifetimes. With the baby boomer generation approaching retirement age, more and more of us will fall into this category. How will these long-term care expenses be paid? The choices are private savings, long-term health care insurance, Medicaid or a combination. This is where the dilemma occurs.
For example, consider a devoted husband and wife living financially comfortable in retirement. Husband has a series of strokes and reaches the point physically where wife can no longer care for him. He must move indefinitely into a retirement facility where staff is available to care for him on a full-time basis. How will his care be paid? The couple can pay for his care but at $6,000 per month or more the money can be depleted quickly. The … Read More... “Divorce As A Medicaid Planning Tool?”
Registering an Out-of-State Decree when a Parent and Minor Children have Relocated to Ohio
In the days of my parents who were born in the 1920’s, persons typically lived in the small towns or cities in which they were born and remained there carrying on the family farms or businesses or following the trades or professions of their parents. In today’s society, people are much more mobile. Persons move to find employment, attend college, or due to military assignments. Many individuals who have had their marriage terminated in another State may find themselves now living in the Miami Valley area. Some of those persons are parents of minor children. So, if Post-Decree problems occur, to which Court do they go for help or assistance?
I should explain that “Post-Decree” refers to situations which occur after the parties’ Final Judgment and Decree of Divorce or after the parties’ Decree of Dissolution of Marriage have been filed. So, the parties’ marriage has ended but issues may continue regarding spousal support, child support, parenting time schedules, transportation, etc. If the parties’ Final Decree of Divorce or Final Decree of Dissolution was filed in a state other than the State of Ohio, that Decree is referred to as a “foreign decree”. It is “foreign” in the sense that … Read More... “Registering an Out-of-State Decree when a Parent and Minor Children have Relocated to Ohio”
Should Teen Expose Dad’s Infidelity?
“How often do parents cheat on each other?” asked 16-year-old Jason during one of our recent sessions.
There was an uncomfortable silence for several moments. I knew this was going to be extremely difficult for Jason to handle, so I started by providing him with some facts about marital infidelity.
I told him that it was impossible to really know the answer to his question, as people are reluctant to be truthful. However, experts estimate that anywhere from 30 to 60 percent of married people have sexual relationships with someone other than their spouses.
“Do they usually get divorced once it’s discovered?” he asked.
“Not always,” I responded. “About 30 to 50 percent of the time, marriages can survive in spite of this serious problem.” He seemed reassured by my answer.
There are typically concerns behind such questions. Jason eventually told me that he had read an e-mail on his dad’s computer describing in graphic detail the sexual contact that had apparently been going on between his dad and a female friend.
Jason was emotionally traumatized after reading this letter. He felt angry at his dad, but Jason also was extremely confused about what if anything to say to his … Read More... “Should Teen Expose Dad’s Infidelity?”
Don’t Create Halloween Horrors for your Child!
For many kids, Halloween is one of the most important holidays of the year. The child of divorce is faced with choices and concerns. Who will take me treat-or-treating? Who will get my costume and dress me? Where will I trick-or-treat?
Then, of course, there logistical problems for the divorced parents. By addressing these issues in advance, parents can reduce stress and not distract from the child’s positive experience. These include:
- In two-parent homes, often one parent gives out candy while the other parent takes the child trick-or-treating. Now there is only one parent in the home. Do you stay and give out candy or do you go with your child?
- Parents often do not specify in their divorce decree who “gets” the child on October 31. If it falls on a visitation day, some children feel disappointed that they don’t get to trick-or-treat in their own neighborhood with their friends. This is particularly true for the first Halloween, when new friends and acquaintances may not have been established in the new neighborhood.
- Halloween reminds the parents of the reality of joint custody and that you will not share some of your child’s experiences.
- In time, the child will grow
Sexually Transmitted Diseases and Alimony Proceedings
Question Presented: Is it likely that one spouse would be granted an award of spousal support in a divorce for having been infected with a sexually transmitted disease (STD) by the other spouse?
Most states have spousal support/alimony statutes which list factors for the Court to consider when awarding spousal support. Many of these statutes, such as Ohio’s statute, include in the list “any other factor that the court expressly finds to be relevant and equitable” or something similar to this. Using this factor, courts do have the authority to consider the contraction of an STD between spouses when awarding spousal support. In many cases in which one party to a marriage contracts an STD, it is the result of an extramarital affair. The other party is then infected with the STD through continued sexual relations between the spouses. Obviously, there may be significant proof problems associated with establishing the origin of the STD.
Ohio, as well as most states, will also consider the health (physical, emotional, and psychological) of the parties when awarding spousal support. This is another factor which may lead to a party who contracted an STD from his/her spouse being awarded spousal support. People with STDs … Read More... “Sexually Transmitted Diseases and Alimony Proceedings”
The Importance of a “Correctly Completed” Affidavit of Financial Disclosure
The Affidavit of Financial Disclosure (or a Financial Affidavit) is a very important document in domestic relations, especially in divorce matters. If you are pursuing an agreed upon dissolution of marriage (instead of a divorce), the Financial Affidavits are required, but they are not nearly as important as in divorce actions. In dissolutions, the Financial Affidavit establishes the required disclosure of all assets and liabilities which is the foundation for any dissolution. Also, in a dissolution, since the parties have everything settled between them, any issues regarding what Husband earns or what Wife earns are largely irrelevant because the parties have already determined which party will be paying child support and/or spousal support (alimony) and the amount thereof. The Court is not likely to interfere with those agreements.
In a divorce, which is an adversarial proceeding, one party may be requesting spousal support and/or child support. In Montgomery County, Ohio, it is especially important to complete the Affidavit of Financial Disclosure because the Court relies upon that information when issuing its Temporary Order for Custody and Support. Accordingly, if the Financial Affidavit reflects that both parties are still residing in the same home together, the Court will not typically issue … Read More... “The Importance of a “Correctly Completed” Affidavit of Financial Disclosure”