When we hear “abusive behavior” we often think of physical violence. Abusive behavior is not always physical. Even though there may be no visible wounds, abusive behavior can be very damaging to the individual, the relationship and the family. Consider if these abusive behaviors are present in your own relationship.
- Criticizing you, your friends, family, job, or anyone or anything important to you.
- Blaming you for everything.
- Making fun of you in front of other people. This includes remarks about your looks, family, job, or sex.
- Demanding that you account for all your time.
- Listening in on your phone conversations.
- Reading your mail or e-mail.
- Isolating you from your friends and family.
- Yelling, throwing things, slamming the counter, slamming doors, punching walls.
- Using sarcasm.
- Ordering you about.
- Controlling or limiting your access to money.
- Discussing you behind your back.
- Demanding s/he have everything done her/his way.
- Controlling what you wear.
- Forcing you to have sex or to do sexual things you are not comfortable doing.
Some women have commented, “Well, he does some of those things, but don’t all men?” No, not all men behave this way! It is not normal to hurt the person you love. This is abuse … Read More... “Would You Recognize This as Abusive Behavior?”
I was saddened to learn that George Webley, the host of the weeknight program on BBC London 94.9, died on May 7, 2011, at age 53. BBC London 94.9 Editor David Robey said, “Big George lived up to his name in every sense, a larger than life character with a radio personality to match. He was a truly distinctive broadcaster who will be terribly missed by his many devoted listeners and his colleagues.” He also had a long career as a musician and composed TV theme tunes, including “Have I Got News For You.”
How many times have we heard those comments and criticisms from our clients and their family members? In many of my initial interviews with potential clients and their family members, I get the distinct impression that they believe the errant Husbands should be “tarred and feathered,” put in stocks in the village square so that raw eggs and tomatoes could be thrown at them, or sentenced to hard labor in a coal mine in Siberia! I try to gently break the news that those things are not going to happen in the State of Ohio.
Have you ever had a dispute with that grumpy neighbor next door or across the hall to the point that the two of you were ready to exchange words…or blows? Ever have a dispute with a shady landlord who was trying to evict you for no good reason? Have you ever had intense disagreements with your family members over when or where to send one of your elderly parents after it became just too hard to provide proper care for that parent at home anymore? If you can answer “yes“ to those or to any other stress inducing interpersonal conflict you may have, resolving that conflict at the Dayton Mediation Center is an option you may not have known was available.
This represents the third collaboration between Psychotherapist Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC, and myself. We both had remarked to the other about the important role that the therapist and attorney play in a divorce proceeding. Donna suggested that we both write about our perceptions on that subject. Instead of each of us writing about the merits of our own profession, we switched roles. I wrote about the importance of therapy during a divorce and Donna addressed considerations for picking a good divorce attorney. We hope this perspective provides the reader with additional information and insight regarding the need for professional support during this challenging and life-changing experience. Be sure to spend time exploring the excellent articles she has written. Her insights are terrific! Donna, as in the past, the collaboration was a lot of fun!
Attorney Diana Mercer sent me these tips in her newsletter on January 19, 2011. Her points are excellent and certainly worth repeating. They really made me chuckle because they are spot on! I have also had an opportunity to read the recent book she co-authored with Kate Jane Wennechuk titled Making Divorce Work: 8 Essential Keys in Resolving Conflicts and Rebuilding your Life, available on Amazon. It is excellent! I whole-heartedly recommend it! To learn more about the book, please take a look at the video about it which I have attached at the end of the article. Thanks Diana for your attempts to bring sanity to the chaos of divorce…
“Wait a minute! Did I read that right? Marriage ‘building’ advice and links to what sounds like a marriage ‘strengthening’ organization on a Divorce Attorney’s website…what’s up with that?” Those thoughts and questions may have run through your mind as you have explored our law firm’s blog and website, but you read correctly. The desire to help strengthen marriages and prevent divorce, if at all possible, may be unusual in our industry, but saving marriages and strengthening families is good for society! To that end, our website, as well as our Ohio Family Law Blog, provides people with links to pro-family organizations like Marriage Works! Ohio, an organization whose mission is helping couples strengthen their relationships.