In the midst of an intense discussion or at the end of a difficult day, we don’t always say the right things to our children. But what we say can make a big impact, good or bad.
Here’s a list of things you should never say to your kids:
“I know exactly how you feel.” This is a real turn-off for kids. You can’t be sure you really know their feelings, and it comes across as dismissive. Instead, reflect back what you think your child may be experiencing. “You seem disappointed that you didn’t make the basketball team.”
“The pilot won’t let you off this plane unless you stop crying.” I heard a frustrated dad say this to his young son on a long plane trip. The rule is simple. Never threaten what you are unable or unwilling to deliver.
“You are too young to understand.” This is one of the most condescending things that parents say to kids, particularly to preteens. Instead of denying information to kids, answer their questions in a way that is consistent with their level of understanding. This doesn’t mean that kids are entitled to always have their questions answered. For example, you have every … Read More... “8 Things You Should Never Say to Your Children…”
Joel Goodman of the Humor Project in Saratoga Springs, New York, says, “Humor is what lubricates life.” Humor can help you deal with all the stressors in your life. Humor cannot erase the situation, but it can take the sting out of many things, thus reducing their negative impact. In order for humor to be curative in your life, you need to find your own laugh button. Remember, divorce is one part of your life, don’t make it your whole life!
The topic for this Family Blog Article is one that is I like to use and one that I highly recommend to clients and to other practitioners. A four (4) way settlement conference is a meeting or conference attended by both parties (Husband and Wife) and their respective attorneys. The meeting generally takes place at one of the attorney’s offices but it could be held at an absolutely neutral location such as the Bar Association, a local library, or a church having meeting rooms available for the public. The meetings can take place during normal business hours but can also be held during evening or weekend hours as no one from the Court needs to be present and no one from the Court needs to oversee or supervise the conference. Therefore, the scheduling of settlement conferences can be done to accommodate each of the parties’ schedules and their respective attorneys’ schedules.
The National Runaway Switchboard reports that between 1.6 and 2.8 million youth run away each year. It also reports that there has been “a significant increase in the number of crisis calls identifying abuse or neglect as a reason for the call, with abuse calls up 33 percent and neglect calls up 54 percent between 2005-2008″ (National Runaway Switchboard Crisis Caller Trends, 2009, p. 2).
For most people going through a divorce, there is no substitute for having a neutral professional by their side who is trained to listen and discuss the emotional issues relevant to a divorce. The emotions many encounter are similar to dealing with a death or loss of a loved one. Therapists may refer to the stages of emotion by differing names, but they are: shock, denial, anger, sadness, and finally, acceptance.
Obtaining a divorce or dissolution is a process which often needs to be broken down into stages. Once you have reached the stage when you know that the marriage is “over”, you will need to then start the process of finding a divorce lawyer. Don’t overlook the importance of this step! There are a lot of divorce lawyers out there and finding the “right” one for you can be critically important. To read our suggestions about that subject click