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Tips to Avoid Exhaustion After Your Divorce

I tell new clients to prepare themselves at the start of their divorce. My warning – A divorce is typically not a sprint but is usually a marathon! So, prepare yourself accordingly! So, how does one go about avoiding that “marathon”?

Here are my top tips to help you avoid total exhaustion after your divorce.

Tip One: Establish Your Top Priorities

I can’t tell you how critically important this truly is. Contested divorce litigation moves slowly and is very expensive! Some individuals come to the initial conference with a warrior’s mindset. They are often “hurt” and want to lash back by fighting everything. Please understand that there is really no “winner” or “loser” in divorce litigation. That “fight at all costs” approach is a mistake for most people. Why? Because litigating all the small issues will take forever and likely cost a fortune!

Some divorce lawyers may not agree with me on this. Many are willing to champion every fight their client wants. Others seem to have a form “checklist”. They start with the first item on the top of their checklist and won’t move on to item 2 until number 1 has been resolved. Yes. This is … Read More... “Tips to Avoid Exhaustion After Your Divorce”

Here are Some of the Worst Things that You Can Do After a Divorce!

Important “Don’t Dos” Post-Divorce Checklist Could Be Crucial In Healing From Painful Divorce Proceedings

Should you use a Post-Divorce Checklist? How about Tips to Avoid!

Typically going through a divorce is a “bad” experience. Often times these are very long painful proceedings. A couple of years ago I posted a blog article titled “A Post-Divorce Checklist“. Here is a link to that article. Below is the flip-side to that post!

Here are 8 “Don’t Dos Post-Divorce.”

DON’T EXPECT YOUR EX TO BE REASONABLE

If your Ex was not reasonable during the divorce, it is likely that his/her “reasonableness” level won’t have changed after the divorce is finalized! So, that means to plan accordingly. Try to plan way ahead so you can get your divorce lawyer involved if necessary. But always do your best to maintain a positive relationship with your Ex after the divorce.
DON’T TRY TO GET EVEN WITH YOUR EX

No matter how miserably you were treated during your marriage, never try to retaliate after the case is over! It likely will come back to bite you! I can share many many stories of former clients who thought that when the case was over that they

Tips to Maintain Good Communications with Your Spouse During a Divorce

Divorce with your spouse not going well? Good communication plays important role for a happier outcome

It would seem to go without saying, that good communication between a couple is an essential part of a good marriage. However, did you know that good communication between the two spouses is just as important when navigating the often turbulent waters during a divorce? As a married couple you may have had good communication, or perhaps your lack of communication was one of the reasons for the divorce.

No matter what has happened in the past it is important to be able to communicate with your soon to be ex. You may be experiencing sadness, anger, stress, frustration, among other emotions, but by establishing an effective means of communication is an important part to help the process move on more smoothly.

You might be tempted to minimize contact with your ex, however this is not the way to go. If children are involved you will have to communicate with your spouse for many years to come. However, if you were married to an abusive person or if there is a restraining order involved, then it is vital you consult with … Read More... “Tips to Maintain Good Communications with Your Spouse During a Divorce”

Blast From The Past: Coping with Difficult Behavior

Blast from the past 13 years Ohio Family Law Blog

How to Cope with Difficult Behavior and Difficult People in a Divorce

PUBLISHER’S NOTE: This blog from guest contributor, Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC, is as meaningful today as it was when we originally posted it on May 1, 2010! We have a ton of interesting articles in our archives of the Ohio Family Law Blog. Use our Search tool and enjoy a few oldie but goodies!

Throughout life, we sometimes encounter difficult people. We may argue with them, fall silent, comply or take distance. In a divorce, particularly an acrimonious one, difficult behaviors abound. No one is on their best behavior under this amount of stress. Figuring out how to cope with difficult behavior is a bit easier once you can identify why a person behaves in a certain way and what he/she hopes to accomplish.

Here is a list of the most common behaviors that frustrate us all and suggestions for dealing with them:

The Bully – uses temper tantrums to overwhelm you; makes insulting and cutting remarks. Needs to feel superior and not lose control of the situation. Wants to get his/her own way.

*Stand up, listen, do not attack back, and take time-outs. Keep … Read More... “Blast From The Past: Coping with Difficult Behavior”

Tips on Preventing Senior Financial Abuse. Don’t Let Your Family Get Ripped Off!

Senior Communities Suffer $3.4 Billion In Loss Due to Fraud and Scams in 2020. What can be Done?

When older adults, especially those in long-term care facilities, become victims of a scam, it is known as elder financial abuse, and it is more common than you’d think.

In 2020, over 62,000 Suspicious Activity Reports filed with the federal government were regarding elder financial exploitation, amounting to $3.4 billion, according to the federal Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB). The average reported loss by elder financial abuse victims is around $60,000.

So how does elder financial abuse happen?

“Unfortunately, there can be financial mistakes, fraud, or identity theft that occurs as a result of living in this kind of community. There are also instances of improper or inflated billing, double bill, and identity theft by ‘bad apples’ on staff,” said Elizabeth Loewy, the former founding chief of the Elder Abuse Unit in the New York County District Attorney’s Office, in an interview with Nextavenue.org.

The COVID-19 pandemic also led to a rise of scams targeting vulnerable adults, as do other “times of crisis”, according to Kelly LaVigne, vice president of consumer insights at Allianz Life.

This kind … Read More... “Tips on Preventing Senior Financial Abuse. Don’t Let Your Family Get Ripped Off!”

How To Be Able To Look Back And Say, “My Life Got Better After Divorce”

better after divorce karen finn life coach

PUBLISHERS’S NOTE: Last week I introduced the concept of a “Divorce Coach” to our readers. Here is an interesting article written by Divorce Coach Dr. Karen Finn. She has a terrific website at www.drkarenfinn.com. Let me know your thoughts about her insights! I am hoping you want to read more as she has graciously agreed to be a regular guest contributor to the Ohio Family Law Blog.

Rebuilding Your Life After A Painful Dissolution – Must Read Tips On How To Make Life Better After Divorce!

The process of divorce — the lead-up, the decision, the legal circus — is often more about getting out of unhappiness than stepping into happiness. Being able to say, “My life got better after divorce” may be a long time coming. But holding onto that vision can fuel your healing and progress.

If you’re the one initiating the split, you may be driven by the hope of a happier life after the divorce. You may be making plans in your daydream hours, if only to give yourself energy through a difficult and draining process.

Whether or not you want the divorce, you may also be plagued by the fear that your life … Read More... “How To Be Able To Look Back And Say, “My Life Got Better After Divorce””

Blast From The Past: Who Needs Cupid?

PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Thinking that it is almost Valentine’s Day, I remembered this post from February 14, 2009 and decided to go back and reread it. The content is still appropriate so long as folks apply the standard pandemic precautions we are all use to such as wearing masks and social distancing. The concept of everyone showing kindness to those around us is certainly needed, especially with everything going on in today’s world.

Newly Divorced On Valentine’s? Do Something Special For Yourself Instead!

Valentine’s Day is the start of the busy season for Dayton divorce lawyers. Many couples wait until after the holidays and it gives them time to file their taxes “jointly” and receive a larger refund. It also can be a reckoning day when people decide that they deserve better.

While romance abounds with cupid’s magic for some, it also can be a difficult time for many divorced individuals who don’t have a valentine to share it with.

Here are some tips from Jennifer McCarron and Eugene Kayser,licensed family therapists from Abington, Pennsylvania:

Ignore the holiday

Think about Valentine’s Day like a holiday for a religion you do not celebrate. Simply decide you are not participating in the

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