Emotional Health Archives - Page 13 of 21

Fighting a Losing Battle Against Our Modern Culture

modern culture I’ve lately been feeling as if I’m fighting a war against our culture, and I’m afraid I’m losing.

My conversation with a friend was abruptly interrupted when he reached into his pocket and looked at his cell phone. When I asked if everything was okay, he casually responded that he was just checking his email, like an addict desperate for his electronic fix.

While searching through YouTube for some music videos, I was taken aback by the content of some of the videos posted by young kids. The language and the overt sexuality were offensive and grossly inappropriate.

Thanksgiving is the latest victim of these culture wars. Like most families, we have traditions that connect us to our past and bring us together for special times. I begin the morning by running a five-mile race along with 10,000 other runners, including my family. We eat dinner together, and then watch a movie or take out the decorations in preparation for cutting down our Christmas tree the following day.

Many retail workers can no longer enjoy such a holiday. With large stores trying to attract consumers with door buster deals on Thanksgiving, others are required to work so that we can … Read More... “Fighting a Losing Battle Against Our Modern Culture”

Holidays: Just Say No And Feel Empowered!

A Guide to Happier Holidays: Replace HO–HO-HO with NO-NO-NO!

holidays Well, the holiday hoopla is ramping up. Displays of sparkly red and green stuff has taken center stage in our stores, catalogues are arriving in droves, internet sites are offering deals, discounts and sales on every imaginable product. Magazines at the grocery checkout display unbelievable glossy covers of gorgeous people, in gorgeous houses, serving gorgeous food. Now with the sudden drop in temperature and the promise of snow this week, the reality that the holidays are descending on us is unavoidable.

It feels impossible to slow this down or simply get a grip. It is like being swept up in some tinselly tidal wave. I don’t want to shop yet; I still am cleaning out the garden! Yet, as the heat clicks on, and my sweaters and even gloves begin to take center stage, it cannot be denied. Here comes the holidays.

Much has been written about how to maintain our sanity through the holidays – hints of shortcuts for meals, warnings about overeating and over-drinking, and financial gurus pleading with us to set limits on our spending. All of these techniques are designed to make the holidays more manageable … Read More... “Holidays: Just Say No And Feel Empowered!”

4 Errors in Guiding Kids’ Use of Technology

kids use technology Our teens live in a digital universe. They may be talking with one friend while texting another. While giving us some superficial answer about what happened at school, they may be posting their real feelings on Facebook.

Research conducted last year by Commonsensemedia.org gives us some insight into this alternative world. Sixty-eight percent of teens text daily and 51 percent visit a social media site such as Facebook at least once a day. This is scary to many parents, but not to their children. They experience this electronic world in very positive ways. Teens report that social media sites help them feel less shy (29 percent), more confident (20 percent) and sympathetic to others (19 percent). Kids 13 to 17 years of age report that such sites have improved their relationships with friends (52 percent) and family members (37 percent). Only five percent of teens report that social media makes them feel more depressed.

We worry about things that we don’t understand, and this digital world is foreign and frightening to many parents. Here are the four most common mistakes made by parents in attempting to guide their kids’ electronic lives.

Prohibit technology. Some parents take pride in the fact

Marriage Advice for Brides – Plan Ahead!

Practical Tips To Protect Yourself If Marriage Ends In Divorce

marriage In the season of weddings, it occurs to me that while many of us received advice when we got married, most of it was about how to keep the relationship vibrant (never go to bed angry) or (in my generation) how to keep your man happy (“ a way to man’s heart is through his stomach”).

While we still love the romance of weddings and marriage and hope for happily ever after, we also cannot ignore the reality that approximately 50% of all marriages end in divorce. And while NO one walks down the aisle thinking well, if this doesn’t work, I will just get a divorce, there are some important issues for a young woman to keep in mind as she makes this life-changing decision. Because, as we all know, S…T Happens.

Put your heart and soul into your marriage, work to be loving and understanding and listen well, never take each other for granted and treat each other with respect; but since there are no guarantees, make sure you take care of yourself. Your marriage may not end in divorce – sometimes someone dies – even at a … Read More... “Marriage Advice for Brides – Plan Ahead!”

Marriages: Do Couples Need More Than Love to Last?

Research Suggests More to Just Love in Successful Marriages

Marriages Can End In Divorce About 40 to 50 Percent of the Time

marriages “All You Need is Love” may be one of the greatest songs written by The Beatles, but the premise is scientifically invalid according to recent research published in the April 2013 Monitor on Psychology.

About 40 to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, but here’s how to beat those statistics, according to the experts who have studied successful marriages.

Work hard. People who stay married for a long time make a conscious effort at working at their relationships. They place their commitment to each other as a higher priority than work, hobbies and even their children. They know that the best way to be a great parent is to be in a loving and long-lasting relationship.
Talk about things that matter. It’s so easy to waste time talking about routine matters of work, family or chores. Happy couples talk about their dreams, fears, hopes and fantasies. They share very private and personal feelings and thus stay emotionally engaged with their partner. With a psychological security based on trust and communication, these couples can truly be

Dating in Midlife: Do You Need Your Children’s Approval?

dating in midlife The doorbell rings as you adjust your make-up one more time and pray that you won’t trip in your new platform sandals. You shake your head and think, “I haven’t dated in decades. What am I doing?” You take a deep breath and open the door to your date.

There is more than a 50% chance that American adults will find themselves dating in midlife. Statistics tell us that the happily ever after marriage is not always forever. Many will face divorce and some find themselves widowed. These folks grieve, they heal and then many say, “Now what?”. They enjoyed being part of a couple and find (sometimes to their own surprise) they want to do it all again.

Dating after marriage feels far more complicated. Aside from a myriad of emotional and practical issues you deal with as you consider entering the dating world, there are the issues facing your children.

Allowing your children time to adjust to the divorce/death before bringing a new person into their lives is important regardless of how old they are. While you may be thrilled that your grieving period is over, your children will most likely take longer in their grieving process. … Read More... “Dating in Midlife: Do You Need Your Children’s Approval?”

Divorce: Is Your Child Emotionally Manipulating You?

How Emotional Minipulation Affects Family and Children in Divorce

Child Psychologist Gregory Ramey Offers His Advice For Parents After Divorce

divorce “I wouldn’t be having these problems if you hadn’t divorced my dad,” declared 15-year-old Lashona during an angry outburst with her mom. There was an uneasy silence followed by mom giving her a big hug and apologizing for the way the divorce has affected the family.

Mom’s reaction was completely understandable but wrong. She was the victim of her daughter’s emotional manipulation.

We all go about our day trying to influence other people to get what we want, and kids do the same thing. Emotional manipulation occurs when someone tries to elicit an emotional reaction from another to divert attention from the real issue. This is like a magician using misdirection, trying to get you to look elsewhere to conceal the magic trick. Kids can be good at such manipulation, taking advantage of parental empathy to escape personal responsibility. Here are the two most common types of misdirection used by kids.

Guilt. Parents aren’t perfect and often feel badly for not living up to their own unachievable expectations. It’s easy for kids to take advantage of this parental vulnerability.

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